OMG everything has changed since the last time I got married

miserly_mum

Hi everyone, my Partner and I are considering tying the knot in the next year or so. Its his first marriage and my second.

My first wedding was over 20 years ago and was a cheap and cheerful affair as basically we were young,skint and I was up the Duff

This time round i'm 41 and as miserable as sin when it comes to spending money unnecessarily. We do have a few thousand to play with but would like to do it properly without going overboard.

I keep reading about wedding favours and presents for bridesmaids, bestman and just about everyone else involved

Is this a new thing and does everyone do it and if so .......why?

If we ask anyone to participate we'll be paying for their outfits etc do they really need gifts aswell?

Ok i'll admit it........I have no idea what wedding favours are but it sounds like something the Yanks have come up with?

chardonnay_2

wedding favours are usually little nets of 3 sugared almonds given to each guest at the sit down reception. they can also be more elaborate and more expensive - they are supposed to be a keepsake from your wedding.

the gift to those involved in the wedding party is just to say thanks and can range in value.

neither are a necessity and it is your big day so spend the money on what will add to your and your partners day without going over the top.

Oldernotwiser

I agree with the OP; there's a great deal of commercialism been added to weddings these days and much of it derives from the States. Unfortunately, young people getting married are often unaware that much of this isn't traditional and just accept these new things as the norm. No wonder people are in such financial difficulties these days!

( It's not just weddings either: valentine day presents, Easter presents, halloween costumes, cards for various silly occasions; they're all just a way of getting us to spend money uneccessarily.)

karen_newcastle

OP - please dont be pressurised into paying for things or buying things you just dont feel you need. You should plan your wedding the way you want!

I had quite a big wedding last year with all the trimmings (most were totally unnecessary) but that's what I wanted at the time. During the day I realised that lots of the small things I'd agonised over just went unnoticed - even by me!!! I was just so happy to be surrounded by my family and friends and marrying the man of my dreams that everything else paled into insignificance.

So my advice would be to concentrate on the things that really matter and forget the rest!!

MrsTinks

It's YOUR day You do what YOU want Stop worrying about what people expect from you.
Wedding favours can be done for a few pence if you want them (like the sugared almonds - bulk buy and put in netting yourself!) gifts... I've bought my maid of honour her dress etc and I am getting her a little something too because she's been a a rock through it all But I'm talking maybe a necklance or something... Nothing over £20!
I'm still struggling on something for the mums... and the wedding is on friday! :eek:

Best of luck!

miserly_mum

Thanks for your replies everyone.

I know what wedding favours are thanks to Chardonnay so i'm feeling more "hip and "happening" now :rotfl:

The idea of all those gifts etc is really scary to an old skinflint like me :rolleyes:

stumpjumper

when planning your wedding you'll come accross alot of 'advise' which says - you've got to spend on this that or the other... or your day wont be perfect...and you want it to be perfect dont you....

you've got to ignor that and just do what you want to do.

plus - when/if phoning about booking a venue for the wedding - try calling again/your partner calling at a different time - about booking the venue for a conferance - and see if theres a price difference.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ff13zZ0h0k

miserly_mum

:rolleyes: We've a lovely golf club near us that does wedding receptions at a great price per head. There won't be that many guests anyway (20-25 max)

I've read the fantastic wedding tips on MSE and i'm as tight as the proverbial Ducks doo-dah.So I have no worries that i'll be able to do it all on budget (or very very close) If I am tempted to over spend anywhere it'll probably be on the kids clothes especially my little grandaughter whos soooo cute and will be a flower girl.

Its just all the added extras i've a problem with. At the same time this will be my second and LAST wedding (and OH's 1st and hopefully last aswell ):rolleyes: So I want to get it right for him especially. Hopefully without being swayed by things just because they're this years "must haves"