Biting at Nursery

Bitten_2

I know this is not Moneysaving but i need to ask a question to a lot of parents.

My daughter has been bitten twice within a week at Nursery and my first instinct is to take her out but i know that if i take her to another Nursery there is no guarantee the kids there will not be worse, biting and kicking for example.

What can i expect the nursery to do. I dont expect some big witch hunt or for the child to be taken out but i know of 4 biting incidents in the past two weeks. I have asked but they have said that the two bites my daughter has received were by different children and that the others were seperate incidents. I think what i'm asking is what would you do - am i doing the right thing by keeping her in.

If it were to happen again would i be within my right (maybe not legally) but to refuse to pay for the 3 days she was bitten as someone clearly wasn't watching her. I do understand that it is just one of those things that children do but does anyone know of any Nursery Biting Policies so that i can compare??

aligerdie

Kids go through these stages, they happen all the time at nursery, my daughter bit a few times, and it was unbelievably embarassing when I got told.

However, she got bitten too, and the nurseries are used to dealing with this, and eventually the kids grow out of it. At least if your little one gets bitten then you can turn it around and use it as an example to her not to bite...

I don't see how refusing to pay will stop this, kids bite, even if they are supervised closely....

LittleJ_2

I agree with the above post - little ones can and often do go through these phases. Unless your nursery has one carer for each child (which I imagine would be hugely expensive), they can't be reasonably expected to be watching every child 100% of the time.

I guess if its the same child all the time the nursery should maybe be making an effort to help that child learn it is not a nice thing to do, and telling their parents that it is causing issues.

Sorry, not a lot of help I know but I don't think its an unusual situation.

alwaysonthego_2

Maybe ask the nursery what there policy is ref to biting and how they intend to deal with the issue. My daughter was bitten twice, she was 3 at the time and didn't make a sound and did not tell the teacher. It was discovered when one of the other children told the class teacher and the bruises on her arms were bad, it must have really hurt her.

Nicki

As its different children doing the biting, its hard to see what the nursery can really do to stop it. As others have said this is a normal phase, but if it was only one child, then work can be done with that child to help them learn not to do it.

I don't think you can also put this down to a lack of supervision. These incidents happen so quickly that unless you were 1:1 supervising all of the children and refusing to let them play with each other, you couldn't stop it. My child was recently bitten at school when both she and the other child were being 1:1 supervised at the time it took place and not playing together. It happened so fast, without warning, that there was nothing anyone could do, and until she started screaming they thought the other child had kissed her not bitten her! For that reason I think refusing to pay would only lead to your child being asked to leave the nursery.

Practically, you could ask if they have a policy on biting, and ask to see it. You could ask them to do some work with all the children about not biting (there are pre-school materials available to help with this). You could ask about what first aid is administered, and ask if there are trigger points which set this off, and for more attention to be paid to your child during such flash points if you feel she is more at risk. I do agree with other posters that they all do it though. I know my DS was not the first one at nursery to bite, but he did end up doing it too when he had been bitten a few times himself, but they tend to grow out of it by reception year!

littlesos

I agree with what everyone else has said. My eldest DD bit someone when she was at nursery, I was mortified, but she was teething and it never happened again. On the flip side DD2 was bitten twice at nursery when she started a new room, once was quite a bad bite on her cheek. The staff said they saw the incident, another child had lent over and appeared to kiss her, but bit instead. There was nothing they could do.

You have said that you don't want a witch-hunt for the child/children, so what do you think should happen? Perhaps you could put your request to the nursery, but withholding payment is not a route I would go down. Personally I can't think of any action I could request the nursery to do other than segregating your child to stop them being bitten again.

It's unfortunate but these things happen.

RoxieW

I took my 2 month old baby (at the time!) to playgroup and a sweet little girl came up to 'cuddle him'. She proceeded to take a chunk out of his little cheek. I'll never forget his screams and he (and I) were inconsolable. This particular girl was the 'biter' of the group and would generally bite, scratch, hit or pull the hair of any child who went near her.

In my opinion her Mum should have removed her from the group. No other children dare go near her so it wasn't a 'playgroup' for her, as such. Just an excuse for her Mum to have a sit down and a coffee.

With a nursery I expect there's not much you can do about it. I do sympathise thou - I know how horrible it is when your child gets hurt.

Dick_here

RoxieW wrote: »

I took my 2 month old baby (at the time!) to playgroup and a sweet little girl came up to 'cuddle him'. She proceeded to take a chunk out of his little cheek. I'll never forget his screams and he (and I) were inconsolable. This particular girl was the 'biter' of the group and would generally bite, scratch, hit or pull the hair of any child who went near her.

In my opinion her Mum should have removed her from the group. No other children dare go near her so it wasn't a 'playgroup' for her, as such. Just an excuse for her Mum to have a sit down and a coffee.

I doubt it could have been much of a 'playgroup' for your 2 month old either. Just an excuse for his Mum to have a sit down and a coffee.

RoxieW

I have an older child actually.

RoxieW

PS - !!!!!! here- could you please stop following me around making sarcastic, nasty comments after my posts? You're taking it too far and it's what I'd call cyber bullying.

traciekan

oh please a bite is nothing! and she will do it one day and yes you will be mortified BUt its normal child behaviour. she will do a lot worse unless of course you have a very strange child! the staff will deal with it and it doesnt in any way make a child BAD! they re investigating.