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Losing a Best Friend / Relationship Advice
richdeniro
Posts: 308 Forumite
Here goes - I'm fairly anonymous on here and it's always been a good source of advice so thought I would see if there was any words of wisdom from you guys about this kind of thing:
So here's the story, apologies for being so long winded...
About 3 years ago I met a lady at work and we clicked pretty much immediately becoming really really good friends - she's a good few years older than me, I'm 28 now and lets just say she was in her late 30s at the time, she's now in her early 40s. I let her know after a few drinks that I really liked her - which I did, I'm not the type of person who will just sleep with someone purely for the sex. I didn't expect it to go anywhere because she was married and had a child with her husband.
Anyway a couple of weeks later we went out for a few drinks and she basically came onto me - she pretty much jumped me and we basically made out a fair bit to put it mildly.
I should say that her husband works abroad in Switzerland and is away from home a lot of the time - he comes back to England once or twice a month or so for long weekends to see her and his daughter.
She let it be known to me that she wanted to have a affair with me and I was less than keen because she was married and had a child with her husband but she told me her marriage was over and was on the verge of divorce anyway. Me being a 25 year old guy with very little experience was eventually convinced - and it did take a heck of a lot of convincing - I had huge issues with being with someone who was married. I am a massively moral person and would no way want to get involved with someone who was married - especially someone who had a kid as well.
Anyways we basically had an affair that lasted for about 4-5 months before I learned that she was going on holiday with her husband and her family to Jamaica. I then realised that she wasn't going to break up with her husband and I cooled the relationship with her right off basically avoiding contact at work, not returning her calls/texts, etc. Something I regret because I know I did not really handle it right and I did hurt her.
I should add that from what she told me about her husband is that he isn't particularly a nice guy, I know that he has hit her once before and she has always said that he has never been her soulmate. She was convinced he was having an affair with someone in Switzerland too although had no solid evidence.
She went on the holiday and I pretty much didn't see her for a month and the whole thing was cooled, we saw each other at work and still remained great friends... if anything we became best friends and she confided everything in me, we would e-mail each other on a daily basis and chat on the phone for hours. We also went out for dinner every now and then.
Because I liked her still so much I did actually try and start up the relationship again, something I am not proud of, but she turned me down saying that her husband was paying her a lot more attention and that they were happy together. I was happy that she was trying to make a go of it with her family and there was no way in the world that I was going to be responsible for breaking up a family so I left it and was happy we were such great friends.
She then left her job as she wanted to be a housewife and be home for her daughter when she finished school. Her husband earns a fair bit and so she could afford to do that as he was able to support them without her working. We remained great friends and e-mailed each other at least 5 or 6 times a day, spoke on the phone regularly, again had dinner/lunch every few weeks, etc. Things seemed to be going good with her husband and she was visiting him regularly in Switzerland and he was visiting her over here.
This lasted until about a year ago when I realised I did really love her and told her so. She turned me down saying that my feelings weren't real and it was just because we were such good friend that I thought I felt this way. She said things were going ok with her husband and family so again I backed away. I thought that if we were best friends then that was good enough and again I wasn't going to break up a family.
But around last October she made contact with an old school friend through Facebook and they started flirting online and chatting via msn, etc - he was living in California but often travels to Florida from what she told me. From what I gather they weren't great friends at school and never dated or anything, everything started through facebook.
Anyway after a month or so of that she told me that she had decided her marriage was over and she really wasn't happy with her husband and she had a connection with this new guy via Facebook - by this time they had progressed to chatting on the phone and were in regular contact. This all hit me pretty hard so I basically told her my feelings for her and that I really loved her, was jealous of her new relationship, etc... She again told me my feelings weren't real and if anything didn't really give any sort of answer to my declaration.
She had a month long holiday planned with her husband and family in February which had been booked long before she met the guy off Facebook and before she went she told me she'd backed off of this new guy and was just going to go on holiday with her family - she told me that this guy was basically only after one thing and was a bit of a player which is why she'd left it. However she did say that through the whole thing she realised she was going to have to leave her husband eventually because if she was prepared to have another affair then things weren't right and they weren't right together.
She went off for her month long holiday - they went to Jamaica and Trinidad for three weeks with her family (brother and two sisters included) and then to Florida for a week with just her husband and daughter to visit one of her best friends. I am guessing that this was all paid for by her husband.
I didn't really have much contact with her for the month that she was away but gave her a call when she got back. She then told me that whilst she was in Florida she arranged to meet up with the guy from Facebook in a hotel and basically spent three nights with him - she told her husband that she and her friend were going away for a few days on a girls trip as they hadn't seen each other in years but that was all a lie as she was actually going off to meet her new man. This hit me like a ton of bricks because I always thought that if she did leave her husband it would be me that she left him for - I know that sounds stupid and terrible because she has a kid with him and we have such an age difference but I would never do her or her daughter wrong and have always cared and loved both her and her daughter.
I then told her my true feelings and for a couple of weeks acted like a bit of an idiot writing her e-mails telling her how I felt about her, etc. She broke off contact with me and pretty much stopped e-mailing and texting me, etc... whether or not it was to save me from any pain or because the new guy had replaced me in that respect I don't know.
She then went away to New York to meet up with her Facebook friend over Easter and spent a week over Easter with him there - I'm not sure what she told her husband as he came home from Switzerland for the Easter period and looked after their daughter whilst she was away - I assume she told him that she was going away visiting friends there.
When she returned from New York I apologised for the way I acted and told her basically I couldn't judge her and would rather her in my life as a friend than not at all. She then told me that we were going to have to have zero contact for a while whilst she goes through this breakup with her husband; she said that basically she is trying to break up with him putting him through as little pain as possible and not to hurt their daughter. Her husband has never liked us being close friends and has it in his head that there is something going on between us - this has actually worked in her favour it seems because whilst she is conducting her new affair he only has his eyes on me leaving her free to be in regular contact with the new guy.
Basically I am not sure what to do, I've never had such a connection with anyone else and I don't think I am ever likely to - I mean she is/was my best friend. However it seems that I care way more for her than she does for me and seems to have no problem with breaking off contact with me, it's now been nearly two weeks since we last had any contact and she said that the reason for this is because she is going through hell with trying to break up with her husband.
However she has yet to actually end things with her husband - as far as he is concerned they are having problems but wants to try and work them out. She has told me that she is entirely financially dependent on her husband which is why she hasn't ended it yet and also that he has some kind of exams coming up and she wants him to get through those before ending it.
She has also told me that she isn't in touch with me because she cannot be there for anyone right now as she is going through her own personal hell. Yet I know she is in touch with her Facebook friend on a daily basis. I admit I am jealous of this but it is obvious that she is lying to me about wanting to be left alone because she is also in touch with other friends she knows from work. Just to also add that I have also had a few health problems in the past month or so which required surgery and I always thought she would be there for me regarding things as serious as that however she completely ditched me regarding those and didn't even contact me for a few days following the surgery and hasn't contacted me in the past few weeks to see if there is any news on it.
Another sore point was a couple of weeks back my brother had to be sectioned, he's not at all well and suffers from mental illness. I won't go into that right now though. Basically it was hell, my dad and I had to take him to A&E at the hospital, wait around trying to control my brother for hours whilst waiting for a psychiatric nurse and doctor to go through the motions to get him assessed and eventually sectioned.
It was an extremely traumatic time for me and my family. I told my so-called best friend what had happened as it has happened before and she is the only one I have spoken to about it.
The next day I was playing around on Facebook passing the time trying to take my mind off the previous nights events. One of the applications on there allows you to buy/sell friends - yes it is as lame as it sounds. Anyway I bought this girl and then switched off thinking nothing of it.
A few hours later I got a e-mail from her requesting that I not buy her as a friend because she was worried about her new man not being happy with her being close to other guys. She also asked me if I would block her new man so that he couldn't see that I had bought her on this stupid program. I already have her husband blocked at her request some months ago. We haven't actually been Facebook 'friends' for a couple of months from when she pretty much cut me off however you can still do certain things via third party applications on there - hence the 'Friends for Sale' program that I speak of. I am thinking now that perhaps the best thing to do is to block her and just cut her out of my life completely now.
That was the last contact I had with her and the fact that this was all she cared about and was commenting on less than 24 hours after the hell I had gone through with my younger brother has shown me how emotionally selfish she can be.
Having not heard from her for a couple of weeks now should I just consign her to my past and give up fighting even trying to have a friendship with her?
The thing is that I am not entirely convinced that this new guy is right for her. Her initial instincts were that he was a bit of a player and was only in it for one thing. I know that she is quite attracted to money and it is fairly obvious that this guy has plenty. She also admits that she gets attracted to guys who she can't have and says that is why she ended up with her current husband. If things do work out between her and the new guy then I will find it in my heart to be happy for her but I think she is just thinking he is going to be the one who will take her away from all her problems here when in fact he is going to be less than keen especially as it would most likely involve taking on such responsibility with another man child. The fact he lives in Orange County and she lives in Sydenham is another obstacle. As far as I can see he probably just sees her as someone to sleep with whenever she flies across to the States. I maybe wrong in that respect though and maybe he actually does like her. I dunno.
I would say that Facebook, as sad as it sounds has vastly changed her life. She is originally from Jamaica and most of her family is over there and her friends are all spread out across the world. Despite living in London for the last 10 years she doesn’t really have any friends here – she has her brother and sister living here too and is close to one of the girls she used to work with but that is about it. She has even said to me that the reason we had the affair was because she was lonely here and I came along and was paying her lots of attention and basically became friends with her. Now that Facebook has come along it has allowed her to get back in touch with many of her old friends that are spread around the world as well as find her new man through it. She would of course deny that Facebook is important but I would say that since it came along she hasn’t been talking to me as much and is on it 24/7 it seems because she doesn’t have much to do with herself during the day. I do think that this is slightly sad because these friends aren’t real friends, they are just friends from her past and social networking buddies.
I do love her so much and now beginning the process of letting go, I don't know if she is now moving on with her life and has decided not to bother with me anymore but if she does get in touch with me over the next few weeks I am now thinking that I will have to pass on her friendship. Also if the new guy does ditch her in the long term should I be there for her?
I know that is post is quite incoherent and rambles on a bit but I do appreciate the opinions of many from MSE about what I have said and if there is any advice to be had then I would appreciate it.
So here's the story, apologies for being so long winded...
About 3 years ago I met a lady at work and we clicked pretty much immediately becoming really really good friends - she's a good few years older than me, I'm 28 now and lets just say she was in her late 30s at the time, she's now in her early 40s. I let her know after a few drinks that I really liked her - which I did, I'm not the type of person who will just sleep with someone purely for the sex. I didn't expect it to go anywhere because she was married and had a child with her husband.
Anyway a couple of weeks later we went out for a few drinks and she basically came onto me - she pretty much jumped me and we basically made out a fair bit to put it mildly.
I should say that her husband works abroad in Switzerland and is away from home a lot of the time - he comes back to England once or twice a month or so for long weekends to see her and his daughter.
She let it be known to me that she wanted to have a affair with me and I was less than keen because she was married and had a child with her husband but she told me her marriage was over and was on the verge of divorce anyway. Me being a 25 year old guy with very little experience was eventually convinced - and it did take a heck of a lot of convincing - I had huge issues with being with someone who was married. I am a massively moral person and would no way want to get involved with someone who was married - especially someone who had a kid as well.
Anyways we basically had an affair that lasted for about 4-5 months before I learned that she was going on holiday with her husband and her family to Jamaica. I then realised that she wasn't going to break up with her husband and I cooled the relationship with her right off basically avoiding contact at work, not returning her calls/texts, etc. Something I regret because I know I did not really handle it right and I did hurt her.
I should add that from what she told me about her husband is that he isn't particularly a nice guy, I know that he has hit her once before and she has always said that he has never been her soulmate. She was convinced he was having an affair with someone in Switzerland too although had no solid evidence.
She went on the holiday and I pretty much didn't see her for a month and the whole thing was cooled, we saw each other at work and still remained great friends... if anything we became best friends and she confided everything in me, we would e-mail each other on a daily basis and chat on the phone for hours. We also went out for dinner every now and then.
Because I liked her still so much I did actually try and start up the relationship again, something I am not proud of, but she turned me down saying that her husband was paying her a lot more attention and that they were happy together. I was happy that she was trying to make a go of it with her family and there was no way in the world that I was going to be responsible for breaking up a family so I left it and was happy we were such great friends.
She then left her job as she wanted to be a housewife and be home for her daughter when she finished school. Her husband earns a fair bit and so she could afford to do that as he was able to support them without her working. We remained great friends and e-mailed each other at least 5 or 6 times a day, spoke on the phone regularly, again had dinner/lunch every few weeks, etc. Things seemed to be going good with her husband and she was visiting him regularly in Switzerland and he was visiting her over here.
This lasted until about a year ago when I realised I did really love her and told her so. She turned me down saying that my feelings weren't real and it was just because we were such good friend that I thought I felt this way. She said things were going ok with her husband and family so again I backed away. I thought that if we were best friends then that was good enough and again I wasn't going to break up a family.
But around last October she made contact with an old school friend through Facebook and they started flirting online and chatting via msn, etc - he was living in California but often travels to Florida from what she told me. From what I gather they weren't great friends at school and never dated or anything, everything started through facebook.
Anyway after a month or so of that she told me that she had decided her marriage was over and she really wasn't happy with her husband and she had a connection with this new guy via Facebook - by this time they had progressed to chatting on the phone and were in regular contact. This all hit me pretty hard so I basically told her my feelings for her and that I really loved her, was jealous of her new relationship, etc... She again told me my feelings weren't real and if anything didn't really give any sort of answer to my declaration.
She had a month long holiday planned with her husband and family in February which had been booked long before she met the guy off Facebook and before she went she told me she'd backed off of this new guy and was just going to go on holiday with her family - she told me that this guy was basically only after one thing and was a bit of a player which is why she'd left it. However she did say that through the whole thing she realised she was going to have to leave her husband eventually because if she was prepared to have another affair then things weren't right and they weren't right together.
She went off for her month long holiday - they went to Jamaica and Trinidad for three weeks with her family (brother and two sisters included) and then to Florida for a week with just her husband and daughter to visit one of her best friends. I am guessing that this was all paid for by her husband.
I didn't really have much contact with her for the month that she was away but gave her a call when she got back. She then told me that whilst she was in Florida she arranged to meet up with the guy from Facebook in a hotel and basically spent three nights with him - she told her husband that she and her friend were going away for a few days on a girls trip as they hadn't seen each other in years but that was all a lie as she was actually going off to meet her new man. This hit me like a ton of bricks because I always thought that if she did leave her husband it would be me that she left him for - I know that sounds stupid and terrible because she has a kid with him and we have such an age difference but I would never do her or her daughter wrong and have always cared and loved both her and her daughter.
I then told her my true feelings and for a couple of weeks acted like a bit of an idiot writing her e-mails telling her how I felt about her, etc. She broke off contact with me and pretty much stopped e-mailing and texting me, etc... whether or not it was to save me from any pain or because the new guy had replaced me in that respect I don't know.
She then went away to New York to meet up with her Facebook friend over Easter and spent a week over Easter with him there - I'm not sure what she told her husband as he came home from Switzerland for the Easter period and looked after their daughter whilst she was away - I assume she told him that she was going away visiting friends there.
When she returned from New York I apologised for the way I acted and told her basically I couldn't judge her and would rather her in my life as a friend than not at all. She then told me that we were going to have to have zero contact for a while whilst she goes through this breakup with her husband; she said that basically she is trying to break up with him putting him through as little pain as possible and not to hurt their daughter. Her husband has never liked us being close friends and has it in his head that there is something going on between us - this has actually worked in her favour it seems because whilst she is conducting her new affair he only has his eyes on me leaving her free to be in regular contact with the new guy.
Basically I am not sure what to do, I've never had such a connection with anyone else and I don't think I am ever likely to - I mean she is/was my best friend. However it seems that I care way more for her than she does for me and seems to have no problem with breaking off contact with me, it's now been nearly two weeks since we last had any contact and she said that the reason for this is because she is going through hell with trying to break up with her husband.
However she has yet to actually end things with her husband - as far as he is concerned they are having problems but wants to try and work them out. She has told me that she is entirely financially dependent on her husband which is why she hasn't ended it yet and also that he has some kind of exams coming up and she wants him to get through those before ending it.
She has also told me that she isn't in touch with me because she cannot be there for anyone right now as she is going through her own personal hell. Yet I know she is in touch with her Facebook friend on a daily basis. I admit I am jealous of this but it is obvious that she is lying to me about wanting to be left alone because she is also in touch with other friends she knows from work. Just to also add that I have also had a few health problems in the past month or so which required surgery and I always thought she would be there for me regarding things as serious as that however she completely ditched me regarding those and didn't even contact me for a few days following the surgery and hasn't contacted me in the past few weeks to see if there is any news on it.
Another sore point was a couple of weeks back my brother had to be sectioned, he's not at all well and suffers from mental illness. I won't go into that right now though. Basically it was hell, my dad and I had to take him to A&E at the hospital, wait around trying to control my brother for hours whilst waiting for a psychiatric nurse and doctor to go through the motions to get him assessed and eventually sectioned.
It was an extremely traumatic time for me and my family. I told my so-called best friend what had happened as it has happened before and she is the only one I have spoken to about it.
The next day I was playing around on Facebook passing the time trying to take my mind off the previous nights events. One of the applications on there allows you to buy/sell friends - yes it is as lame as it sounds. Anyway I bought this girl and then switched off thinking nothing of it.
A few hours later I got a e-mail from her requesting that I not buy her as a friend because she was worried about her new man not being happy with her being close to other guys. She also asked me if I would block her new man so that he couldn't see that I had bought her on this stupid program. I already have her husband blocked at her request some months ago. We haven't actually been Facebook 'friends' for a couple of months from when she pretty much cut me off however you can still do certain things via third party applications on there - hence the 'Friends for Sale' program that I speak of. I am thinking now that perhaps the best thing to do is to block her and just cut her out of my life completely now.
That was the last contact I had with her and the fact that this was all she cared about and was commenting on less than 24 hours after the hell I had gone through with my younger brother has shown me how emotionally selfish she can be.
Having not heard from her for a couple of weeks now should I just consign her to my past and give up fighting even trying to have a friendship with her?
The thing is that I am not entirely convinced that this new guy is right for her. Her initial instincts were that he was a bit of a player and was only in it for one thing. I know that she is quite attracted to money and it is fairly obvious that this guy has plenty. She also admits that she gets attracted to guys who she can't have and says that is why she ended up with her current husband. If things do work out between her and the new guy then I will find it in my heart to be happy for her but I think she is just thinking he is going to be the one who will take her away from all her problems here when in fact he is going to be less than keen especially as it would most likely involve taking on such responsibility with another man child. The fact he lives in Orange County and she lives in Sydenham is another obstacle. As far as I can see he probably just sees her as someone to sleep with whenever she flies across to the States. I maybe wrong in that respect though and maybe he actually does like her. I dunno.
I would say that Facebook, as sad as it sounds has vastly changed her life. She is originally from Jamaica and most of her family is over there and her friends are all spread out across the world. Despite living in London for the last 10 years she doesn’t really have any friends here – she has her brother and sister living here too and is close to one of the girls she used to work with but that is about it. She has even said to me that the reason we had the affair was because she was lonely here and I came along and was paying her lots of attention and basically became friends with her. Now that Facebook has come along it has allowed her to get back in touch with many of her old friends that are spread around the world as well as find her new man through it. She would of course deny that Facebook is important but I would say that since it came along she hasn’t been talking to me as much and is on it 24/7 it seems because she doesn’t have much to do with herself during the day. I do think that this is slightly sad because these friends aren’t real friends, they are just friends from her past and social networking buddies.
I do love her so much and now beginning the process of letting go, I don't know if she is now moving on with her life and has decided not to bother with me anymore but if she does get in touch with me over the next few weeks I am now thinking that I will have to pass on her friendship. Also if the new guy does ditch her in the long term should I be there for her?
I know that is post is quite incoherent and rambles on a bit but I do appreciate the opinions of many from MSE about what I have said and if there is any advice to be had then I would appreciate it.
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Comments
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Blimey, I have never read such a long message!
It seems to me very clear that there is no future with this woman, and you must forget her and move on. You have given her ample opportunity as you have offered yourself on a plate, but she clearly does not want you. Don't contact her at all, don't stalk her (on facebook or whatever), and the right one will come along for you soon. It is very hard to forget someone, but in time you will. Good luck.0 -
Richdeniro, it is going to be hard to give her up but she has found it very easy to give you up, she is excited by her new affair and has fully moved on from you, she does not need baggage from another who is in love with her(you). That said, I would drop her for three months totally then text or email her with a "hi" as it is very hard to say goodbye to someone whom you care so much for.
I don't use facebook but buying and selling friends...I don't think it's a virtual society I would wish to belong to.
Chin up old fellow I know its a cliche but it will get better, you are a thoughtful guy who does deserve more.0 -
Your "friend" sounds like a complete slapper. She's had an affair with you and the new guy and god knows how many others you don't know about.She lies to her hubby and to you. She sounds like a complete selfish biatch.
If she put as much time into her daughter and her marriage as she does tarting about online she wouldn't have time to feel sorry for herself.
Don't waste your love on someone like her.How does a brown cow give white milk, when it only eats green grass?0 -
Agree, this person is no good for you and is not your best friend. You say her new 'fling' in the US is a player but I think she is the player. Just because she is female please don't delude yourself that she wouldn't be that kind of person. From what you've said she seems the sort of sad middle aged woman who's life revolves around men, this is very old fashioned but there are women who live this way, they have no sense of self and constantly seek attention from men to validate themselves. Do you think you are the only one she has used in this way? I wouldn't be surprised if she's been doing it for years! I'm sure that won't make you feel any better but my point is it's not a reflection on you as a person.
What I would also say, and I don't mean to be rude, is that you're 28-you should have more going on in your life than hanging on the words of an older woman who is playing you like a fiddle! I think you need to draw away from her completely as she has proved what she is about and has proved she doesn't care about you. You say you love her but do you? I sense a desperation in your post and think you probably have just got into a rut of being caught in some tragic 'love story' -thats really not about love at all. It's a bad habit you need to break and I wish you luck OP"I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself" -Oscar Wilde0 -
Hi mate
You are obviously a very mature and sensible guy. Please forgive me but I am going to be blunt because I think you need it.
You know that there really is no future in this "relationship". You've been used from day 1. You gave her what she was craving for. Attention. When her marriage was bad you were her escape from her real life. When it was better, you were her "standby" bloke. Now she's moved on.
She's totally and utterly used you. Now you need to get strong. Sever all contact with this femme fatale and get your life back. She's way too old for you anyway and there are plenty of women more your own age who would love a sensitive and mature guy such as yourself.
Its not going to be easy. It will take time for the wounds to heal but honestly you will feel much better very soon. The sooner you stop all contact with this woman the quicker you can begin to heal.0 -
To be fair to this woman she's pretty much told you to keep away from her and yet you continually try and contact her and profess your feelings when it seems clear that she isn't going to reciprocate them.
No offense mate but that's near as damnit stalker behaviour! I'm not going to condone her behaviour but the fact remains that you hold no claim over her. If she wants to sleep around behind her husband's back then that's her business only, unless she's told you something to the contrary.
You just need to chalk this one up to experience and move on, dwelling on it won't make things any better. As the above poster mentions, you were convenient in what she said was a bad time for her, nothing more, nothing less. It happens the world over and, yes, it's painful for the recipient but the sooner you sever ties with this woman the sooner you can move on.0 -
richdeniro wrote: »
The thing is that I am not entirely convinced that this new guy is right for her. Her initial instincts were that he was a bit of a player and was only in it for one thing. I know that she is quite attracted to money and it is fairly obvious that this guy has plenty. She also admits that she gets attracted to guys who she can't have and says that is why she ended up with her current husband. If things do work out between her and the new guy then I will find it in my heart to be happy for her but I think she is just thinking he is going to be the one who will take her away from all her problems here when in fact he is going to be less than keen especially as it would most likely involve taking on such responsibility with another man child.
I hate to say this, but I think you've been used! She sounds like the type that wants to have her cake and eat it too!
Rich husband, affairs, younger man, housewife status. I'm 99.999% sure that she won't leave her husband until she finds someone equally as rich to take her. If you're not rich, it won't be you.
I think you need to forget her, delete and block her on facebook, delete her number, change your email, and move on. Go out and meet some real people.Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')
No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)0 -
I'd say you need to take a complete break from all this right now, and try and get things straight in your head. Would it be possible to go away, perhaps take a short holiday somewhere for a few days, (away from her and away from the computer/facebook;) )or at least make sure that you don't see this person at all.
Sorry to hear about your brother.0 -
hi there i have not had a lot of experience in life issues such as this but have had a couple of long (ish) term relationships, i would ask myself...if i am having big doubts...then theres obviously reason to worry and as said in another post you have put yourself out there as much as you can, and do not deserve what you are getting/have got, my advice to you would be to keep busy i no everybody says it but it really does help and takes your mind off things, and also see it as a lesson lernt, and i assure you in time you will look back and thank god for this happening as i am sure it will have shaped you quite alot and made you a stronger person for THE one for you, which i am one who belives there is THE one for every body out there and dont think this is the one for you
good luck!:beer: Hirdy:beer:0
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