ARGGGHHHH!! Why won't my kids eat my food!!

suzywoozy_3

I have three children.

DD1 eats pretty much everything, the only thing she doesn't really like is mushrooms but she'll happily eat them in something just not as a separate entity.

DD2 doesn't like anything spicy or in a sauce - I'm happy to give her component parts of the meal all separate from each other, she doesn't like cooked veg - I give her them raw before or with the meal. This way I am not making more work for myself but I am also allowing them to have their preferences. She doesn't really liked cooked food much. She would eat loads of breakfast a little lunch and a tiny dinner. I really wasn't that bothered as long as she ate a balance of food during the day I don't mind if she doesn't have much dinner. Also if she really really didn't like what we were eating she was allowed some toast instead. For me the issue wasn't that I really really wanted her to eat the dinner just that I wasn't going to make two meals. We don't generally have pudding but the fruit bowl is open to anyone to eat at any time in our house, so they could have fruit even if they didn't have dinner.

This was all fine as they were both getting enough nutrients. Then I had ds -oh boy was he different. He has milk allergies which often prevented us from feeding him from our plate and from trying new foods at friends houses all things I had done with the girls. He ate a good variety of food until he was about 3 when he suddenly stopped. He wouldn't eat any fruit or veg except bananas and what I could disguise in a pasta sauce. I decided I couldn't face going on the eat it or there's nothing else route - we had been dealing with a lot of health problems with him and were frankly too exhausted to have another battle. So I worked at it very gradually. literally one pea on his plate and lots of praise if he would eat it, a lick of my apple, a suck of a grape. He seemed to not like anything at all slimy. We also discovered humzingers which are pure fruit bars which he would eat - but they were expensive. So we worked on a very slow re introduction after a lick a very small bite etc. We discovered he would eat puréed soup - so I always purée his portion. So now he will eat peas, baked beans, cucumber, hummus, most things in a soup, most fruit and he loves dries fruit. Like his sister he likes his food separate - baked beans in a little bowel next to the plate. I always make sure he has one veg that he likes and I put a tiny bit of the other veggie on his plate.

He is six now and understands that he needs to eat fruit and veg to be healthy so he is more willing to try things. Also dd2 (10) has recently started eating foods she doesn't like because she knows they are good for her.

So summary, I don't cook 2 meals, I will serve it in component parts (DD2 hates spag bol so she has pasta and grated cheese and some raw veg) , I put a little of something to try on plates, I believe in the very very small portions idea if they stop eating much (I have served up half a fish finger, half a boiled pot and 2 peas before now), I let them have plain toast (some marg/butter on it only) if they really don't want the meal. I try and make sure there is fruit or veg with every meal that everyone likes. I try and make sure they have a balance of food during the day as a whole so don't mind if they don't each much at dinner time ( I only serve up a small amount and they can get seconds if they like it, if not it gets frozen for OH lunches so am not throwing much away).

minimooch

Same problem here, DD 4 good little eater but DS2 absolute nightmare.

I found 2 things that have helped - I discovered that DS liked to dip, sio I try and make a sauce, or just use balsamic sometimes (not ketchup in this house, I hate the smell!!). He will at least eat some things that way

I also try and do one of the meals I know he will eat every other day (not enough of them to do every day) so pasta with tomato sauce witht he vegatables wizzed intto it, shepards pie - I put sweet potatoe in with the mash and bash the carrts into the tiniest pieces with one of those chopper things, HM baked beans - fantastic - he loves em. recipe on here somewhere

at least that way I know he's getting some nutrients at reasonably regular intervals

had breakthorugh monday - he wont touch salmon, but HM fishcakes, salmon, potato and sweet potato - huge hit

oh and once last thing - DS will not eat a single vegetable in its native unhidden format , not one, not anything - until we went to wagamamas the other week . Edamame beans , steamed in their pods, i now get them from frozen the local asian supermaket and they are green - weehay!! :j so there is hope

earthmother

I've got three boys - 7, 4.5 and 2 - and it's only the littley I haven't/don't have food problems with - in fact, I haven't come across anything yet he won't eat (thank goodness).

The eldest had stomach/intestine problems when he was around 3-4.5, which affected his appetite, and he's also a picky little so-and-so anyway, so we had real problems getting him to eat anything at times. He's not so bad now, but still not great.

Middle son is good with food variety generally, but has texture issues and a very delicate gag reflex, so over the years he's decided he doesn't like foods that in the past he's had issues with.

To be honest, we went for a combination of the ideas already mentioned to combat the problems. Everyone gets the same food served up, and we work on an 'at least one bite' principle, and have done for a few years now. It has served us well, to the point that we rarely have to enforce it now, yet eldest will actually say 'I need one more bite don't I' if his plate is looking a bit full still, lol.

Getting them involved in food choices works - that's not just in the preparation, but also shopping - I love the deli counters etc where they can taste test - it's amazing the things they'll ask to try - ok, so you need a supply of tissues for the rejects, but you also get to bring extra bits home - and if they refuse it when mealtime comes, you gently remind them that they chose this meal. It also helps sometimes to give them a feeling of control - say an option of two meals from that weeks plan (on a majority vote - I'm not saying cook two meals).

Growing/picking our own works well too - I never thought I'd see the day when eldest would eat peas straight from the pod, but once he tried one, he found he really likes them.

When it comes to introducing new foods, it's almost like going back to weaning - offer it a few times in a relatively short period of time, then if it's rejected leave it a while and come back to it again. Don't make a fuss, try to ensure there's always a part of the meal they like, and above all don't panic - children can and will survive quite happily whilst on food fads - and they will come to an end so long as we don't pander to them (as I think we all know - us being sensible OSers, lol).

rosh12

Phew- this is all really reassuring!

I have an 11 month old who isn't really a huge eater - (she's still quite porky so we're ok..!) but she has a habit of not eating all the yummy, organic free range fair trade (you get the message! ) goodies I lovingly (ahem) make for her. But she usually will eat a jar of orange food if we're out or she's with Grandma...! She's started spitting stuff out now and pulling these hilarious faces when she doesn't want something.

I'm kind of working on the priniciple that she won't starve and I'm also trying not to give in and give her extra treats etc. I always try and give her fruit after a meal, even if she's not eaten all the main course.

It is hard though, isn't it?!

BrandNewDay

CRANKY40 wrote: »

We can also make a slice of cheese on toast into a fish using a pastry cutter. A circle for the fish and a semi circle for the tail. Nothing gets wasted, I eat the crusts :rotfl: You can make an eye out of a dollop of tomato puree, and use lettuce for seaweed.

I'm not saying make every meal a masterpiece, but having a bit of fun now and then takes the stress out of it all.

My kid watches a lot of Big Cook, Little Cook and that sounds like something they'd do! I'm going to try some of these things.

Tibbie's_mum

My DS 3 is sat down for his lunch at the moment, wholewheat spaghetti, mackerel fillets and tomato sauce which smells foul, but he loves it. This is about the only meal that he'll eat up properly, so I do try to vary it a bit and add pureed carrots to the tomato sauce or a few red lentils, sometimes I even get away with it. He did try some bacon yesterday which went down well, so I'm thinking spaghetti carbonara might be on the menu.

As I mentioned before, as long as his other end is working okay I don't worry. But it can get a bit disgusting when my OH and I have to compare notes on his 'movements'.

wendy+5

Don't forget, a child's stomach is roughly the size of their fist so it really won't take much to fill them up.

Don't make it into a fight - you'll never win!

mummysaver

My four generally eat everything, we don't have a whole lot of food rules, other than if you put it on your plate you eat it, and that they are each allowed to dislike one food - cooked mushrooms for ds cos he says they look like slugs, can't argue with that, but I love them anyway!

Like others we always have a full fruit bowl, and even if they don't eat dinner then they can help themselves - fruit or veg, all pretty much the same!

We also have had various times where I've had to serve food up in its component parts, dd1 hated potatoes or any potato products for about her first 5 yrs, then would only eat them boiled - so just used to serve hers up before mashing. dd2 hates things in sauces, so it has to go on the side, whenever she starts going on it makes me think of that scene in When Harry Met Sally! dd3 just likes to moan about stuff, she imagines that she dislikes loads of stuff, for instance she "hates" roasties, but will eat cubed potato roasties, we just give them a diff name! ds eats pretty much anything, though he's not keen on rissotto, about the only thing we can leave in the fridge and know it'll stay there!

It is incredibly frustrating when you cook and they won't eat it, especially day in day out, but you just have to muddle along as best you can, perhaps hiding veg in tom sauce, serving things raw or not put together - even now dd1 won't eat shepherds pie, pot and mince must be seperate!

Good luck!

lucasmum

I am so glad I posted here. You guys have made me feel much better about it all.
I am going for fish fingers for tea as I know that DS2 will eat them but I will have to do DS1 some plain fish as he has recently decided he doesn't like fish fingers. This has just made the simplist of dinners complicated. I would normally just do HM wedges but OH has decided he has gone off them and DS1 isn't keen. May do new pototoes but then DS2 won't eat them!!
I really fancied veggie lasagne but I do not want to throw it away coz none of them will eat it.
I know a lot of you batch cook. I must give this a go once we'ved moved house. Then I may not mind pulling a couple of different things out of the freezer and cater more to their fussiness. Oh well I've made a weetabix cake in my BM coz I have more of a chance of that being eaten. It has to be the best cake, I bung in a couple of bananas and 1/4 the sugar so it is really quite healthy. it may work as a threat also, no cake if you don't eat your tea!! I will have to put my thinking cap on and try some new things.

hin501

Hi there, i usedto be JUST like your kids! i was a really fussy eater and went through a stage of eating nothing but toast, i agree with the posts been sent not to give in to the kids. Although maybe try asking what they fancy, i am not yet a parent but i would maybe suggest getting your kids involved, an idea that has just popped into my head, why not let them root through the cupboards, or you lay out a variety of foods for them (still being healthy) and get them to decide what they have, then once they decide what they want maybe they would enjoy helping you make it? im sure that if they have decided themselves what they would like to eat they will do... plus you are still giving them healthy food, and getting clean plates? I have noticed that when kids do something themselves i.e. clean their own room they take pride in it say if their friend messes it up it will bug them.. maybe if they make the food...they will eat it? as i said i dont have kids but would like to have them and think that this could work!Good Luck