What's the going rate for 'keep' from your children once they start work?

Ninnins

cells wrote: »

why did you hve them in the first place if you dont enjoy being with them. or better put why didnt you put them up for adoption if you so dispise them

if you want rent, ask them. dont feel bitter behind their backs that isnt helping any of you

and its !!!!!! to say you feel traped by your children, they are the only thing you will leave behind once you are gone

Oh, dear, that was quite vitriolic, and I feel you have misunderstood my simple observation. I DO NOT DESPISE MY KIDS. THEY ARE MY RAISON D'ETRE AND I AM VERY PROUD OF THEM. They are professional people and I love and cherish their company. My point is that I am immersed in debt through giving them an education, which I would happily do all over again. However, I would like to downsize and I would like to give them something to start their lives off with, like a lump sum, but unfortunately, the credit crunch means that I cannot afford to give them some independence and dignity. Oh, and did I mention, I am a single parent and have single handedly educated two sons - and the last thing I am, as anyone who knows me will verify, is bitter! I think you perhaps have missed the point of this forum.

before_hollywood

i left college in 1999 and first job initially paid £130 per week for full time, i gave about £35 per week and thought i was the richest man alive lol, the firm started getting fed up of bailing our branch out financially and i had my hours cut, earning £45 per week i paid £20 per week, which was same as when i was on the dole and recieving £39 per week once i got made redundant. i soon had another job, earning about £125 per week i paid about £40 per week which included when i was at uni, to be honest i could have done with being allowed off my rent cos back then i had to work approx 10 hours per week to pay my rent (well more actually lol) and i could have done with that extra time for me but that was life, i eventally quit my degree and by the time i left my job 2 years ago i was earning about £170-£180 per week and paying about £180-200 roughly and then another £25 for our broadband and i rarely use the landline (seriously unless the broadband has gone down or insurance is up for renewal i don't use it, last time i did someone crashed into my car)

at the moment my official wage is £16k and i pay 200pm,plus i pay for the house internet (which i make sure is a decent one) and i pass on certain perks to my family through discounts through employees friends and family referrals at work, i iron for myself and wash a fair bit as well, so as long as my food is done, there is somewhere for my stuff, electric for tv, hi-fi and laptop and a parking space for my car i don't tend to bother much, i am expected to buy my own stuff and also buy fairly decent presents for everyone when xmas and birthdays come around

Grebe

Both of my children are at uni, my son doing a degree not working during term time. He receives a full bursery. I take no as we call it "KEEP" from him, however he will work during the summer and I do expect keep from him then. As such it will be what he feels is an appropriate amount, but I told him 25% would be fine. Money is very short in my household however my golden rule has been as long as my children do not p**s about too much at uni then no keep would be asked for until they were working. My daughter is doing her Phd part time and works part time, I thought about 25% keep from her would be enough however she thinks 25% does not cut the mustard as she says and gives me 50% of her pay every month. On top of that she payed 50% of the cost of my wee car and £18 for petrol every week! Now don't get me wrong, I do all the cooking, cleaning, driving, everything that makes both their lives as smooth as possible ( They are both worth it ) but I do think they value their homelife big time and my daughters generosity will influence her brother and his decisions on keep. Its all a question of give and take. When I was working and living at home ( many years ago ) there was no choice but to give your parents some of your pay these were much less affluent times. Nowadays some are in the happy position of not needing their children to contribute towards the household bills, but if our children do not participate in contributing how do they learn that living costs money. Also the big thing that my daughter tells me is that she feels in giving me keep she is behaving as an adult would. Taking responsibility for her every day life.

LondonDiva

from the moment I started working at 15, I paid 1/3 of take home (mind you, I was also told that 1/3 of take home was to go in the bank leaving just a paltry 1/3 to fritter away.

I always moaned that I needed a chance to fritter with the best of them and was told that in that case, I could pay 1/2 take home for keep and my parents would could save the balance for me if I couldn't be trusted.)

when I was at Uni, with a full grant and I worked, I paid 1/3 of my take home too. I was told, pay 'keep' or pay rent and board elsewhere ~ it's stood me in good stead. The first thing I think of when getting any income is to divvy it up between my mental 'pots' of money & bank accounts (holidays, car insurance, savings etc)

I don't understand why parents think that children should pay an amount they are comfortable with. A flat amount & if the child is unhappy about that, there's always Gumtree for alternative accomodation.

I have to second the poster quoting bestpud's sig

TEENAGERS

Fed up with stupid parents?
Act quickly!

Move out, get a job, pay your own bills, while you still know everything!?

Have quoted it to various young people in my family and it's amazing how quickly the instant shut up happens when the alternative is brought to their attention.

GracieP

I paid my parents part of my salary when I was working through college and I paid them a similar amount when I worked full-time. Tbh, I think I paid them less than I should have once I was working full-time and I feel really bad about it in retrospect. However once I moved out and started earning good money I took them ice-skating for the day and had their bathtub re-enamaled as a surprise. (Though that was really only fair as it was my hair dyeing that had screwed the bath up in the first place.)

One of my friends when I younger used to pay 50% of her take home pay. I remember being in her kitchen one day when she was giving her mother her money. She handed up £45 and her mother looked at her pay packet and instantly said "you were paid £92.50" and demanded the other £1.25, which my friend was in the middle of removing from her wallet. I thought that was just a little extreme.

Almo

When I was at uni I lived away from home and had a job for the entire time bar the first 2 months and the last 3 months. The first 2 months were spent enjoying being a fresher, and subsequently searching for a job. The last 3 months I chose not to work to concentrate on my dissertation and exams.

I was at uni from 2002 - 2005 and worryingly, can't quite remember what my loan was, although I suspect it was about 3k. Regardless, it was income assessed. I did see one poster comment about parents actually contributing the income assessed portion, and my parents didn't. They were assessed at being able to contribute perhaps 1k a year, but they didn't. I don't hold any bitterness towards them for this as they have a rather unique financial situation, which I was aware of. They contributed as they were able to - usually in the form of a big shop before the start of term.

The way I see it is this; my parents certainly did choose to have me (that I'm aware of :rotfl: ) and had provided for me since birth. University is not compulsory and they both funded themselves when they were younger. On paper they are now reasonably wealthy but appearances can be deceptive, and I knew I would be taking money they couldn't afford by asking for the contribution. I thought they had contributed more than enough over my life time.

When I was at home during the holidays I worked full time and was fortunate in that they did not ask for a contribution during this time (they are mortgage free which I appreciate many others are not). This was their contribution to the cost of my degree.

However, once I had finished uni and was living at home prior to a planned move overseas I did contribute. 130 a month - very little really given the cost of bills these days. That included bills, food, occasional lifts to work or back from work, and (shamefully) having my washing done. I don't feel this was enough in retrospect, however I am grateful that my parents were able to accept so little as it enabled me to move overseas. Had they needed to ask for an appropriate rate (rather than the discount rate I evidently got) I would have had no hesitation in paying them and would have postponed my move by a few months. I often bought groceries as and when we needed them and did my share of the cooking. I stayed at my boyfriend's probably 3 nights a week (and before anyone says anything he was renting and we split the cost of food etc).

ETA: OP my personal opinion is that you should charge a specific amount rather than a percentage. Find out the going rate for a room locally and add her share of bills and food. She must learn to pay her way but I don't think it's accurate to charge a percentage - if she pays only 25% but her rent would cost 40% in the real world, that's not helping her.

Shoshannah

LillyJ wrote: »

Most people in my year at school (local comp) either didn't get max loan, or they did and lied on the form to get it (ie parents divorced but both contributing but only put one parent down on the form).

My parents are divorced. On all the loan forms I have filled in (4 now), they only ask for the details of the parent you lived with. I lived with my mother. I have never put my father on the form regardless of his contribution (which is, incidentally and through no fault of his own, nothing) because it does not ask for it, as far as I have noticed.

I think perhaps the fault lies with the government/SLC, who assume that parents will pay for their child's education if they have the money. This is, IMHO, a somewhat unfair assumption for everyone. In my view, once you are 18 you are an adult and become your own responsibility and not that of your parents (my mother would disagree with me here, lol). If your parents are able, and willing, to help you then this is something to be truly appreciated and not just taken for granted, as so many young people seem to.

You choose to go to uni and enter full time education - you take responsibility for the costs it incurs.

I left home at 19 and have been in full time education since then. I get on really well with both my parents and miss them a lot. My parents help me when they can, but they are not rich and I expect nothing. It breaks my heart when I am forced to borrow money from my parents, I feel as though I have failed somehow. My student loan will amount to about £40,000 by the time I graduate, d'oh!

Sorry if that's controversial.

nicki672

adecor wrote: »

Our daughter has started work & is earning £19,000 p.a. We don't really need to take anything from her, but feel that we should (will probably put it in a savings account). We think she needs to learn some sort of value regarding money as she is in debt up to her eyeballs. There was no need for her to get into this situation from being a stay-at-home uni student. We did mention it to her tonight & she said that her best friend paid either £50 or £100 p/m depending on what she could afford. We thought that amount was unrealistic - I can remember paying £50 30 years ago!!

Any help regarding this will be much appreciated, as we are in the dark regarding what to ask.

I paid £10 per week 20 years ago, but I was only paid £75 per week.

On the other hand my stepdaughter earns £18k and pays just £110 per month, despite having £6k worth of payrises in the last 10 months, no board raise as her father will not allow it!! We could do with the money. It was £130 but I got fed up of her turning her nose up at mealtimes and the food going in the bin. Her father negotiated the new deal with her, she can help herself to any food/drink in the house, but she has to cook it. She is too lazy to do so and therefore spends a lot of money on junk, certainly much more that the £20 she is saving per month.

I moved away at 18 and did a house share which cost me £225 per month for rent, plus all the other usual bills on top. I managed this on a wage of £10,200 per year, I also had to pay for a car and its upkeep and still managed to take a holiday each year. Looking back I don't know how.

My stepson is due to leave in school in a month, we are encouraging him to get an apprentiship. He will be charged rent at this time. He is under the illusion that he will be able to rent somewhere with his friends and survive on £150 per week. This could be a valuable lesson.

I think it is important that they do pay their way, how will they survive when they leave the roost. :rolleyes:

Lunar_Eclipse

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

The at home loan rate is £3,500 pa,

This is getting silly. In my experience, most parents do everything they can to minimise the debt (of ANY kind) that their offspring incur whilst going to uni. I have never heard of parents charging 'keep', even if the children do get full (nowhere near enough) bursaries.

So unless parents cannot afford to do otherwise, they would give their children some money for basic living expenses, even if they lived at home. It would just be a lower amount than they would give them if they lived away from home.

Before I went to uni (1990), my Mum sat me down to do a budget of my anticipated living expenses. It included an amount for rent, food, electricity, books, clothes, travel & (some obviously) entertainment. This determined the termly amount that she transferred into my bank account. I had also saved money from a job in my GAP year, which was for anything above and beyond what they gave me.

I was lucky that firstly they could afford to give me money, secondly Mum taught me to budget and stick to it (I did!) and thirdly I left uni in credit. Hopefully I will be able to do the same for my own children one day.

Lunar_Eclipse

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Ieven students from wealthy families will receive £2,700 when living at home and those who are less well off will receive at least £6,400.

I'm confused (- fees were 'free' when I went to uni.) Where does this come from? Although my fees were paid when I went to uni, I did not receive a penny from elsewhere, apart from my parents (& savings.) So I find it hard to believe that the Govt is now paying people to go to uni. Or maybe they are? So presumably it's a loan? And thus doesn't really count when parents assess their childrens' financial needs for uni funding. Surely.

I know the loan would be cheap and thus make financial sense, except it still needs to be repaid, by the child. So why parents NOT on very low incomes would take some of this as 'keep' is beyond me.

Or perhaps I've totally misunderstood. Which is very possible.