Stay and be miserable or leave and feel relieved and poor

saver03

I am so unhappy at work it is really affecting me. I find myself coming home and crying due to really bad days and then I start to worry before bed and am reluctant to go to sleep as morning will be here sooner. I have been doing extra hours in an attempt to pay my debt off sooner but it is just exhausting me. I was even crying at work yesterday and I couldn't seem to pull myself together. I didn't even go in today as couldn't face it and when I had called in sick I felt instantly better. There has been a lot of change and our department is in total chaos. There is no manager just a very inexperinced assistant manager and he can't do his job and I feel a lot of pressure is placed upon me. I have been higher with my concerns and just got fobbed off and told I could transfer departments but I don't think transferring would be the answer as it is the same everywhere and where I am could be the lesser of the evils. There are rumours that they have hired a new manager and maybe things will change when someone comes in and takes control but I really don't know how much longer I can carry on. My OH says that I should tell them to stick it up their a*s* but it obviously isn't that simple when I owe my mum so much money. I have spoken to my mum and she tells me that if I am finding it too hard I can leave and just pay her what I can. I have actively been looking for another job and even applied for a few but I have had no joy yet. I really need something local as I cannot drive yet and it would be easier if I could walk or just get 1 bus.

As well as work I also lost a very close friend recently and it was such a shock and I don't think that has helped my emotional state. Also, the situation at work with the state of the department and the investigation we were under has been added pressure. I am hoping that if I have a few days off I will feel better when I catch up on some sleep but I also think there are other factors than a lack of sleep. I do suffer from depression and take prozac every day, which has been keeping me on an even keel but with recent events I am just finding it hard to cope and I will be going to the doctors on Wednesday morning so I may self certificate myself until then and see what the Dr suggests.

I have so much stuff to sell on ebay that I could probably match, if not exceed my current income (£570 approx. every 4 weeks) but I am not sure if giving up my job is really a sensible move.

To quit or not to quit?

PLEASE HELP ME

lilmissmup

If i was you i would quit, my debt is a pain but money is not everything, i totally agree with the motto work to live not live to work!

I am getting really stressed at my job recently and thinking of leaving too (yet again), been there 4 years but just feel like a dogsbody sometimes!

Life is too short to suffer!

*Hugs*

10past6

Hello saver03

I’ve had psychiatric / anxiety problems for over 30 years, so I have some experience in how to handle various situations.

What I suggest you try and do is prioritise your issues, for example, list ALL your issues / concerns.

Then number them in priority order, for example, if you believe your mums debt is top priority, then number that 1, and work down the list.

When you’ve achieved your list in the order you believe to be correct, work on each issue in priority order, try not to focus on priority number 2, until number one is completed, you’ll only become confused, and back to square one again.

I know the above may sound strange, but believe me; although it takes time to work through the list it does work, give your self a time scale for when you start each issue, say 4 weeks for example.

One of life’s difficulties is having various issues going round in one’s head and not being to make head or tail of it.

Good luck

ltm07

saver03 wrote: »

I am so unhappy at work it is really affecting me. I find myself coming home and crying due to really bad days and then I start to worry before bed and am reluctant to go to sleep as morning will be here sooner. I have been doing extra hours in an attempt to pay my debt off sooner but it is just exhausting me. I was even crying at work yesterday and I couldn't seem to pull myself together. I didn't even go in today as couldn't face it and when I had called in sick I felt instantly better. There has been a lot of change and our department is in total chaos. There is no manager just a very inexperinced assistant manager and he can't do his job and I feel a lot of pressure is placed upon me. I have been higher with my concerns and just got fobbed off and told I could transfer departments but I don't think transferring would be the answer as it is the same everywhere and where I am could be the lesser of the evils. There are rumours that they have hired a new manager and maybe things will change when someone comes in and takes control but I really don't know how much longer I can carry on. My OH says that I should tell them to stick it up their a*s* but it obviously isn't that simple when I owe my mum so much money. I have spoken to my mum and she tells me that if I am finding it too hard I can leave and just pay her what I can. I have actively been looking for another job and even applied for a few but I have had no joy yet. I really need something local as I cannot drive yet and it would be easier if I could walk or just get 1 bus.

As well as work I also lost a very close friend recently and it was such a shock and I don't think that has helped my emotional state. Also, the situation at work with the state of the department and the investigation we were under has been added pressure. I am hoping that if I have a few days off I will feel better when I catch up on some sleep but I also think there are other factors than a lack of sleep. I do suffer from depression and take prozac every day, which has been keeping me on an even keel but with recent events I am just finding it hard to cope and I will be going to the doctors on Wednesday morning so I may self certificate myself until then and see what the Dr suggests.

I have so much stuff to sell on ebay that I could probably match, if not exceed my current income (£570 approx. every 4 weeks) but I am not sure if giving up my job is really a sensible move.

To quit or not to quit?

PLEASE HELP ME

Hi, it does sound like you need a break,but if I was you I would stick it out til you find something else. Be firm with assistant manager if you feel he isn't pulling his weight & putting too much pressure on you. As you say so yourself you will probably have a new manager who knows what he/she is doing. It does sound to me that it's not the actual job that's getting you down,but the chaos that currently surrounds it. About the extra hours,sometimes doing too many hours doesn't help,as you start to feel it's all work & no play. Maybe you could cut down the extra hours at work & use them to ebay stuff. I too was doing loads of overtime at work as I was getting desperate to clear our debts,but it was making me ill,so I don't do as many now & feel a million times better for it. As long as we are living within our means & not overspending,then we know we are getting closer to being DF. If unexpected things crop up then we have learned to take it on the chin & if it puts our DFD back a month or so,then so be it. As lil says,money isn't everything,your health is far more important. Also losing a close friend is bound to have a massive impact & this obviously isn't helping your situation. Good luck & take care.

oscar52

Sounds like you both work at MBNA :shocked:

saver03

Shameless bump :whistle:

Burlesque_Babe

I had an appalling situation at work 18 months ago, to the point when I basically had some kind of breakdown (but still kept going!). I was also paying off my debts and doing 2 jobs and it was a nasty situation.

Debt is not worth being this unhappy over. In the end, I ended up finding a way of being made redundant, which was scary as I was giving up a really decent salary.

It was the best thing I ever did. It's taken me a year to get over it all but I look back now and think, god, I would never go through that again - I'd rather walk out.

Please speak to your GP. I never thought I'd be in a situation where I needed anti-depressants and almost felt ashamed accepting them, but after a few weeks, some of the symptoms had subsided slightly.

Whatever job you do, there will be opportunities out there to do something identical, similar, or the chance to start again.

Please don't let work do you in. At the end of the day, it isn't worth it.

Mabelicious_2

I was in the exact same position as the original poster until last week.

I hated my job with a passion. Not the job itself as much as having to do it 5 days a week, work long hours and get no overtime.

I told my boss I was leaving and we came to an arrangement. From next week I am working 30 hours over 3 days which to me is tolerable. Knowing the majority of my week is for once NOT work related makes the job seem insignificant. I am only getting a 10% drop in salary to boot.

It seems even though I hated the dame job, I am reasonably valuable to them to keep on.

Maybe compressing and shortening your working week might be a solution? You still get to earn but don't feel like you're living to work.

Jenna

I was in a situ last year where my work was so stressful it was making me ill. In the end I became really depressed (not helped by some other issues in my life) and still didn't know when to draw the line and just quit. My OH and some close friends basically forced me to see my GP who signed me off for 2 weeks at first, but about 6 weeks in total. The time off helped me to gain some perspective on the job and realise it wasn't for me.

I resigned but left on good terms (I came back for a few half days to hand over my work). I've been in my new job for about 9 months now and it's about 40% of the workload for several thousand more per year ... plus paid OT. Now at least if I work 9 or 10 hour days I get something back for it!

All I'm saying is ... life's too short. If you have the option to leave and look for work elsewhere, take it. If you don't have savings (or your OH can't afford to take on all the bills temporarily), though, you need to be careful that you're not left in a worse position. Can you just do the minimum at work, maybe update your CV and put it online/sign up with some agencies, and don't do any more OT until you get something new?

Hope it works out xx

saver03

I have just rang work to let them know I won't be in Monday or Tuesday as I am going to the Drs on Wednesday morning. It took me 10 minutes to summon up the courage as I started getting short of breath and feeling queasy but I knew that if I didn't do it today it would have been worrying me all weekend. As soon as I got off the phone I just burst into tears and I am beginning to think I am going crazy.

I am hoping the Dr can help on Wednesday and I will start to feel a bit more like my old self.

steven77

You sound very much like my other half. She hates her job and comes home upset sometimes... however, there is a whole industry out there dedicated to finding people work these days.. maybe sign up to some agencies and see where that takes you...


And keep smiling!!! Ot at least try to and when you can't... get on here and someone else will I'm sure... :rotfl: