Helping children with exam stress

Firehorse

Morning everybody,

I'm in new territory here and I could really do with your advice. My DD1 and DD2 are sitting their GCSEs this year. Now one is really chilled and the other is extremely distressed. Tears, feelings of great inadequacy etc, especially after revision sessions being supplied by their school. Oddly enough, it's the brighter of the two that is doing the stressing.

The course she has opted for at college is well within her grasp, only needs four Cs or above, which she is extremely capable of. I've said it doesn't matter if things don't go well on the day etc, can always resit, it's only one year out of a young girls' life, but nothing I say is helping.

Any advice would be grately appreciated.

Nomio_2

Hi, I don't have kids yet (pregnant though, so my time will come) but I've done a lot of exams over the last 10 years and I found that the stress for me was made worse by me feeling that I didn't/wouldn't know the answers. Can you help her revise? Maybe ask some questions or time her on some test papers and then maybe she could go through them with you or even ask her teacher to take a look? Has she got all the materials she needs, revision books/access to extra websites. I know it's easy to say but the majority of kids do fine and never think about it again, it's just the build up and everyone gets so worked up. The other thing I would say is encourage her to sort out her revision notes as soon as she can and make a revision timetable and then you support her with that and maybe treat her when she's got some free time?
Just a few ideas, this seemed to help me... plus some relaxation techniques. By the way a few years ago when my cousin was really worked up about her exams, my auntie told her that if she got too stressed out she would pull her out of the exams altogether!!! Not the best idea I don't think, but it worked for her

Goodluck!!!

RedBern

exams - they aren't designed to trick you - examiners want you to share what you know - so as long as you revise and are able to understand the questions there shouldn't be a problem (simplistic I know but give it a try). I think if you can get your daughter to look at past papers and see the questions - once you get the hang of what they are asking for there's a limited number of questions they are asking.

On the day - tell your daughter to sit on her hands for the first 5 minutes of the exam and read carefully what is required. How many questions from part A - how many from part B - and highlight or underline how many you need to answer.

Then read all the questions - turn the paper over and make sure there's nothing hiding on the back! The read the questions again and think about the ones that jump out that you think you can answer. Once you're ready to start writing - limit yourself to number of minutes of exam divided by number of questions to answer less 10 minutes for starting/finishing. So... if you find you have 20 minutes per questions - stick to it. Move on to the next questions and remember if there are only 20 points for a question you can only get 20 points whether you spend 20 minutes or 2 hours. Move on to the next 20 point question. In this way you don't find yourself with 15 minutes at the end of an exam with 2 questions outstanding and potentially 40 marks you've no chance of getting! If you do get to the last question and are short of time ... because you've not done as instructed already!;) then make quick bullet points of the main arguments for/against whatever the questions is asking for. That way the examiner can see that you had the right idea just not enough time to flesh it out and should get something.

Good Luck to all sitting exams

jellymid

Hi Firehorse,
Going through the same as you at the moment with a bright and capable daughter. It's a bit of a minefield isn't it.

We have used the past papers from the exam board web sites. They also come with the mark schemes. We found that going through a paper with her after she has had a go at it, using the mark schemes to identify what they were looking for in each question, really helped. A revision timetable covering all the topics that need covering, is useful but can be a bit overwhelming.

My husband advocates 45 minutes revision, followed by 15 minutes doing something absorbing but different...he learn't to juggle when doing his finals! I have just been out and bought wii fit for this purpose, not money saving, but the kids have contributed.

Don't forget if she gets really stressed, talk to the school, they usually have someone who can help get things in perspective.
Good luck,

Al

Oldernotwiser

jellymid wrote: »

Hi Firehorse,
Going through the same as you at the moment with a bright and capable daughter. It's a bit of a minefield isn't it.

We have used the past papers from the exam board web sites. They also come with the mark schemes. We found that going through a paper with her after she has had a go at it, using the mark schemes to identify what they were looking for in each question, really helped. A revision timetable covering all the topics that need covering, is useful but can be a bit overwhelming.

My husband advocates 45 minutes revision, followed by 15 minutes doing something absorbing but different...he learn't to juggle when doing his finals! I have just been out and bought wii fit for this purpose, not money saving, but the kids have contributed.

Don't forget if she gets really stressed, talk to the school, they usually have someone who can help get things in perspective.
Good luck,

Al

Wow! I would have thought that this amount of parental involvement would make anybody stressed!

If this works for your family then fine but I don't think most parents should be encouraged to get this involved.

debs66_2

Hi, DD1 had this 2 years ago (DD2 sitting hers this year)

my eldest was very dedicated, and made up her own revision timetable, which was invaluable.

that said, she also went a bit OTT (she had a lot of projects - graphics/art) and started stressing out. i took her out of her bedroom and gave her the talking too about just doing her best,and how they weren't the be all and end all of her life. TBH, the high expectations were all her own. i just wanted her to do her best.

i also paid for her to have 2 private sessions with my pilates instructor. DD had been bent over her desk so much her shoulders were knotted like hell, and she had neck pain too. the pilates helped her relax, and my instructor gave her some tips and exercises to do to help keep that way.

how about treating your girls to a chill out day - a massage or such?

vixarooni

As someone going through their final uni exams at the beggining of may.. there isnt a great deal anyone can do to make you feel better! GCSE's were the worst set of exams ive ever done in my life, worse than my uni ones by a million. I was so stressed, there was so much to learn for the whole 11 or so subjects youre examed on. Although my stress levels are resembling that of my GCSE's now!

Best thing that someone told me, is that when you revise maths, eat a fruit pastels. When you do science, eat minstrels. Then, when you go to your exams eat that and you should be able to remember your revision better! The food can vary though!

But really, best thing is to be there and be a good support. At the moment im in need ot cuddles, ive cried ive wanted to throw my laptop across the room but back then my mum was there to give me a cuddle and some security. Thats all i needed! Oh, and a present at the end if i did well. That motivates me every time. ha

loopylass

jellymid wrote: »

Hi Firehorse,
Going through the same as you at the moment with a bright and capable daughter. It's a bit of a minefield isn't it.

We have used the past papers from the exam board web sites. They also come with the mark schemes. We found that going through a paper with her after she has had a go at it, using the mark schemes to identify what they were looking for in each question, really helped. A revision timetable covering all the topics that need covering, is useful but can be a bit overwhelming.

My husband advocates 45 minutes revision, followed by 15 minutes doing something absorbing but different...he learn't to juggle when doing his finals! I have just been out and bought wii fit for this purpose, not money saving, but the kids have contributed.

Don't forget if she gets really stressed, talk to the school, they usually have someone who can help get things in perspective.
Good luck,

Al

Hi
My son is going to be doing exams this year and he does 20 mins revision a night can you give me the website for past exam papers as i think this will help him as well
thankyou

Mrs7ones

We're another household going through the same.
DS1 is a very capable student who knows his GCSEs are well within his grasp, but he's still lost weight with the stress/worry.....
(and just to compound, i have DD1 doing KS2 SATS and DS2 doing KS1 SATS in May )

We're just trying to reassure DS1 and be there if he needs help, and over the next couple of evenings we're going to write out a revision plan together, with study time and leisure time in the hope he doesn't feel too swamped.

And we've got a weekend away coming up just to all relax before it all kicks off (some might say this is irresponsible just b4 the exams, but we feel we all need a break.....)

Savvy_Sue

Mrs7ones wrote: »

We're another household going through the same.
DS1 is a very capable student who knows his GCSEs are well within his grasp, but he's still lost weight with the stress/worry.....
(and just to compound, i have DD1 doing KS2 SATS and DS2 doing KS1 SATS in May )

If DS1 had done a 3 year course, this year would be Finals, A2s and GCSEs for us ...

I guess I'm lucky in that none of them 'stress', although I wish DS3 would give just a teensy bit more thought to how he's going to make sure he passes English!

Boots sell pillow sprays and things you can apply to your temples to help relaxation: I'd try them. Personally I don't like the smell of lavendar, but they do one which is Peppermint and Nutmeg. I struggle to find it when I need it for presents, and can't find it on their website, but worth seeking out if lavendar's a bit too old-fashioned for your DD's taste!

Oldernotwiser

loopylass wrote: »

Hi
My son is going to be doing exams this year and he does 20 mins revision a night can you give me the website for past exam papers as i think this will help him as well
thankyou

I do hope that this is 20 mins per subject, not 20 mins in total!