Self employed NRP

2525

My ex is self employed and claims he only earns £115 per week thus csa have made a maintenance assessment of £7.10 per week, CSA say i should apply for lifestyle inconsistent with income, has anybody got any advice on this. He is now in arrears over twelve months and csa have backdated this assessment to then. Cant believe they accept such lies as income, obviously fiddling tax payments and working cash in hand, even somebody claiming benefits would be on more income. Any help or advice much appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Loopy_Girl

As far as I know the CSA have a team that deal with those kind of requests. I believe you have to document why you think his income doesn't support his lifestyle (big house/crippling mortgage, car, holidays, that kind of thing) Am sure someone else will be along to add to that.

You could also report him to the HMRC for investigation for tax evasion. Very easy to do - just look at their website;)

2525

thanks for the speedy reply, have already reported circumstances to inland revenue

Loopy_Girl

Good....and they are more on the case than the CSA....give the CSA a call back tomorrow and say you want to implement a variation order and they will be able to help.

enemes

Yeah ... LoopyGirl is correct. You will have to ask the CSA for a variation to be considered, as you believe the NRP has a lifestyle that is inconsistent with declared income.

But, unfortunately, the main stumbling block is the fact that he is self-employed. This is a common theme posted here and I am affraid that the self-employed seem to be able to get away with a lot more than us humble employees would.

Loopy_Girl

Ah nothing humble about you Enemes!!!!!!!! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

You are the man that reminds me that there are decent fathers out there (well you and my own Dad obviously!!!!)

Hope you're well

enemes

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Ah nothing humble about you Enemes!!!!!!!! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

... as humble as a brick on the forehead, so they say! I'm well thanks, sudgering on!

As your 'old man' would say also, there are many decent fathers about, both NRP and PWC. It is the few that make things so miserable, and in doing so drag the children through the muck as well. I have an ex wife who is hell bent on doing the same, but I just concern myself with my childrens' well-being at the present ... when they are older they can make their own judgements, and leave her with the guilt of not providing for HER children.

I am glad 2525 has notified the Inland Revenue ( or whatever they call themselves now) because they have much more powers than the feeble CSA to hurt where it really hurts - being a man, I know where that is!

Loopy_Girl

enemes wrote: »

... as humble as a brick on the forehead, so they say! I'm well thanks, sudgering on!

As your 'old man' would say also, there are many decent fathers about, both NRP and PWC. It is the few that make things so miserable, and in doing so drag the children through the muck as well. I have an ex wife who is hell bent on doing the same, but I just concern myself with my childrens' well-being at the present ... when they are older they can make their own judgements, and leave her with the guilt of not providing for HER children.

I am glad 2525 has notified the Inland Revenue ( or whatever they call themselves now) because they have much more powers than the feeble CSA to hurt where it really hurts - being a man, I know where that is!

And all the non Scottish folk are going eh?! what does he mean by that?!!!!!:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

I agree completely with you. That is my mantra as well - let him deal with the questions when she turns up at his door when she is 16. Hard though when she is asking about him and I strongly suspect she is building a fantasy figure in her head. Am toying with the idea of contacting him and giving him the opportunity to meet her as at least I can say I tried...but then that could open another can of worms. who knows eh?

And yes, HMRC are great...;)

enemes

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

.... and I strongly suspect she is building a fantasy figure in her head.

Of course she is ... and that is probably what he is to her, a fantasy! But, the thing is, you will have to allow her to ask him those questions, if only to satisfy her own curiosities.

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Am toying with the idea of contacting him and giving him the opportunity to meet her as at least I can say I tried...but then that could open another can of worms. who knows eh?

Nah! I can see what you are saying, but I would suggest that is the wrong way round! It is all to do with empowerment, your OD will think that you have gone behind her back by you contacting him. Try and 'engineer' her round to thinking she wants to contact him, i.e. let her feel that she is in control of the situation, then it won't be YOU who is opening that can of worms.

At the end of the day, it is you who tried. You have been trying all the time, she will know that whatever happens ... you are trying every day, that's what genuine parents do ...

Loopy_Girl

She asks constantly if she can see him Enemes. I answer all her questions about him and have never - and will never - speak bad about him. She is happy with the response that I give just now for not seeing him (lives too far away) but methinks it is not going to be much longer why she questions she NEVER sees him. She's 6 years old and as bright as a button and if I did get in touch and he did want to see her, but only to satisfy his curiosity, and then never saw her again then I don't think I want to put her through that rejection.

You are right...it is a bad idea and I know that deep down but sometimes I have these niggling doubts. But thank you for listening and responding. It's hard to speak to family and friends about it as they - quite rightly so - get so emotional about it.

Thanks x

enemes

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

I answer all her questions about him and have never - and will never - speak bad about him.

That is all you can do, then. Be honest. I do the same with mine, although I have to say that I bum their mum up through gritted teeth at times! My two are only 6 and 9, and they can see through me!

I can understand your concerns about putting her up to possible rejection again. But, at the end of the day, it is not you who is rejecting her. If she is going to be rejected, only she can experience that for herself. The hardest thing for you is to decide wether you can stomach her going through that, or wether you can stomach her having a relationship with her dad. No matter how much I hate my kids' mother, I have never denied them contact with her, despite the anguish I go through when they do go there every two or three weekends apart.

Suprisingly, your OD is yet young enough, but also mature enough to work things out for herself. Don't allow the pressures from your friends and family sway you. I reckon more than 40% of my kids are from broken/single relationships, and I can see which ones come from a parent who has allowed their child/children to develop with their interest at heart.

Your OD is only six, please give her the chance to put her issues 'to bed' now before they become real issues when she is a teenager, and in turn affect her for the rest of her life possibly.