How much to spend on wedding gift?

beer_tins

Hi all, I'm not sure if my fellow tightwads are the right people to ask (joke!), but I'm trying to figure out how much to spend on a wedding gift for my friend. The gift is from my fiancee and I, she knows him from school and I know him from uni (we met at his birthday do years ago!). We've known his fiancee for years as well. They live nearby and we see a fair bit of them, though I wouldn't say they were best friends or anything. I'm thinking around £60 from both of us, but is this a bit thight? We're getting married ourselves later this year and are trying to save as much as we can. I'd like to do a poll on this if I could! I know what it costs to invite someone to your wedding and it's more than £30 a head!

Cissi

I don't think £30 a head is tight, at least I hope not - that's roughly how much we'd spend too, unless it was close family or really close friends.

I know weddings usually cost more than that per guest, but I don't really think you expect to make that back in gifts (at least we certainly didn't expect that). And as I see it, you've often got travelling costs, hotel etc to take into account too - although perhaps not in this case, if the wedding is near where you all live. Even so, you're making an effort to be there on the day and make it special for them. I'm sure they'll be very happy with whatever gift you give them, especially if you put some thought into choosing it.

RoxieW

It cost us £100 a head to invite people to our wedding, but we got nowhere near that amount in gifts. Most was around the £30 (per couple) mark - though tbh neither of our families are v well off. I dont think you invite to receive (thou its nice) and tbh, apart from big gifts from parents etc I couldn't really tell you now,a year on, who gave what, so I wouldn't worry about it too much.

poe.tuesday

I would say between £30 and £50 is plenty so your suggestion of £60 is certainly not tight in my books, anyhow, it should be the time and effort put in to getting the present that counts rather than the amount spent

hev_2

The best wedding present I had was a box of groceries.

My mum didn't have much money, so she stashed an extra tin/jar/bottle every time she went shopping and I didn't have to buy groceries for at least a month after - some of the cleaning stuff lasted a lot longer I didn't have much money myself and I paid for my own wedding and I really appreciated not having to pay out for these groceries.

The point is - you do not have to spend hundreds to give a great gift. Have a word and explain that you are on a budget, but is there anything that they would really like, like a joint subscription to a magazine or something. If they have been living together they will have loads of stuff anyway. The last thing they need is another thirty toast racks

Or, if they are happy for you to do this, as your wedding gift you could organise part of the wedding or help with something to do with the house. That may be more appreciated although I would get them something little as a keepsake in that case.

HTH and congratulations on your coming wedding. I hope you have a brilliant day.

beer_tins

Thanks all, got them a nice standing lamp from both of us from their wedding list: http://www.johnlewis.com/230217126/Product.aspx I think you're right, £60 should be fine. We both earn above the national average and don't have to pay for a hotel and no more than a tenner for a taxi, but like I said we are saving for our own wedding and they are good but not "best" friends. Looks like I was just being paranoid!

beer_tins

hev wrote: »

The best wedding present I had was a box of groceries.

My mum didn't have much money, so she stashed an extra tin/jar/bottle every time she went shopping and I didn't have to buy groceries for at least a month after - some of the cleaning stuff lasted a lot longer I didn't have much money myself and I paid for my own wedding and I really appreciated not having to pay out for these groceries.

The point is - you do not have to spend hundreds to give a great gift. Have a word and explain that you are on a budget, but is there anything that they would really like, like a joint subscription to a magazine or something. If they have been living together they will have loads of stuff anyway. The last thing they need is another thirty toast racks

Or, if they are happy for you to do this, as your wedding gift you could organise part of the wedding or help with something to do with the house. That may be more appreciated although I would get them something little as a keepsake in that case.

HTH and congratulations on your coming wedding. I hope you have a brilliant day.

Thanks. You're quite right, if you know that someone is not well off, anything is appreciated and it's appreciated all the more. They know we earn good money but they also know we're saving for our wedding (and how much that costs) so I don't think I need to worry!

[Deleted User]

We typically give £100 for a wedding gift to our friends... our wedding is in 2 months, haha, we'll get it all back then. However, it'll cost us £95 a head to invite people to our wedding.

Are you inviting them to your wedding? Will they reciprocate with the same level of generosity? Give what you expect (or hope) to recieve

beer_tins

Yes, they're invited to our wedding. I'm not sure what we can expect from them, but I was really basing it more on what is acceptable for us to give in our situation, rather than what we can expect to get back.

shelley_crow

spend what you can afford to spend on them. If they get funny about it then they aren't real friends.

When my SIL got married, my OH and i had a very tight budget, having just had a baby and me being at maternity leave (from a badly paid job). All we could afford to buy her was a crystal type ornament with their names on to remember the day. They had a gift list but we couldn't afford anything on it. I wouldn't expect anyone to spend more than they could afford if the situations were reversed.x

beer_tins

True. If the situation was reversed I'd think it was a good present, and I'm sure they will as well. I honestly wouldn't mind what people spend on our present, although if the people we know are loaded buy us something for a tenner it might be different!