Im up to my eyes in debt...cannot see a way out!!

Emma768_2

I am 31, graduated from a PGCE in secondary history last year. Have £15000.00 in debts not including my horrendous student loans. I cannot find a full time teaching job so am working as a cover assistant for half the salary of a teacher. I have an eight year old daughter and I am on my own so I am restricted with where I can travel to in the mornings. I work five days a week then do saturdays and sundays at my friends pub to keep my head above water.
With tax credits and extra work I earn £1500 a month, including tax credits for childcare, which sounds fab- I pay £600 in rent and council tax, £200 in utilities and £200 in petrol and a further £250 in childcare.
I do not get any help with my rent or with my council tax and I am so fed up.
I am so tired, I never see my little girl and I just wish I had been more sensible and not run up debts, but you know how it is...ex partner left me with loads, then I used one card to pay the other, trying to bring up a baby and work and go to university, then the car breaks down blah blah.
Just feel rubbish and isolated and like I will never be able to just enjoy myself again. Go shopping, take holiday, go for lunch with a friend without worryinh whether I will have enough money.
Sorry for the rambling!!

slowlyfading

Firstly, welcome to the site. Second, have a dodgy hug. :grouphug: You're in the right place, and soon there will be more experienced people along to help you What you need to do now, so that we can help you, is to do a SOA (statement of affairs, see the stickky at the top of the debt free wanabe board) and try to do it as detailed as possible. Also, do you know where the money has gone? Do you have anything you can stick on Ebay/Amazon so you can make a bit of extra cash?
Don't worry, you'll be okay.
sf :heartpuls

soupdragon52

you have come to the right place. Theres loads of advice and info around this forum and many who have been there and come through it all. Just remember that the pile of debt you feel you are under is just that - a pile. You will climb out of it and live again, keep that in mind and you will keep going. Your daughter is 8 years old and old enough for you to reason with her on why you are so tired, working to keep her with you. She is old enough to help out with little jobs around the house, do them together and chat as you do, hopefully you will also have energy left after for a favourite board game. All the best, you will get there. (((((((HUGS)))))))

Prudent

Oh hun, I really feel for you.

I have been there myself in some respects. When I became a single mum, I was supply teaching and had a daughter just a little older than yours. I felt like you too - life would never have any fun again.

The good news for me is that six years down the line, I own a lovely three bed semi outright, have a nice little car, very good savings and dd and I are able to go to Marjorca for a week in the mega expensive school summer holidays

I was lucky enough to get a full time permanent teaching job eventually.

However retropsectively, I wouldn't take the same path. Teaching is absolutely exhausting and together with single parent hood leaves no time or energy to have fun and enjoy your daughter. I really had to push myself to the limit to do fun things with my dd. I am lucky in that I now have a cracking teaching job, but its still hard work.

Play around with the tax credits calculator on www.entitledto.com You may find that you are not significantly better off teaching anyway. Which I guess is basically what you are noticing yourself with your comment about your income.

I have worked really hard at reductions my outgoings and can manage on about a third of my salary now. If I had realised how much mse would teach me about living well for little, I would have chosen a less stressful path. If you put up an SAO you will get great support with your outgoings.

GeorgeUK

You've come to the right place Emma.

I'd use the calculator to do a SOA and post it up in the MSE format so we can see if there is anywhere we can save you some money.
http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

Also check to see if there is anything you should be claiming that you aren't currently receiving.
https://www.entitledto.com

Good luck with the job hunting.

slowlyfading

Emma, are you still here?

Emma768_2

Thank you all so much, you have been lovely. Will do the SOA and see what it says.I really don't feel quite as alone now. Hopefully this will be the first step to sorting myself out.
Cheers

donner_kebab

Hello Emma,

Firstly wanted to say Hello and give you one of the dodgy hugs! :grouphug:

You are not alone! My situation is similar to yours, single parent with an 11 year old madam, graduated and have about £20,000 worth of debt without student loan also left to me by my charming ex...what a guy! :rolleyes: I know what you mean about feeling tired out and not being able to enjoy anything. I hate the fact that I can't really join friends for lunch anymore, little things like that really bring me down.

On the plus side though, this site is FAB! And has made me realise that I can get out of this mess...it will take time but I, as will you, get there in the end. Deffo pop your SOA up here and have peeps take a look for you as everyone here has sooooo much help and knowledge they can offer you. I am relatively new on my debt free journey but wanted to offer you support and tell you that you are not alone! If you every want a chat, come on here...or pm me if you want! We all support each other! Big hugs, Donna xxx
P.s you may find it useful to start a debt diary on here...that's what I have done and found it really good!

Emma768_2

I feel better already.. I am about to appear really thick though..how do you do this SOA thingy..I am quite bright normally honest!!

boredofbeingathome

Well done for posting, you are not alone. I too am a supply teacher and have found it hard to fit in my life. That aside it is a great community on here, lots of good advice an ear to listen, a chat.... well anything to help you really.
It is hard to take it all on board when it hits you, and a lot of folk are feeling it because we can't do it all, but a lot of that is just pressure from adverts etc.
Take it slowly,look at your SOA, keep posting and you will get there.
bob x

slowlyfading

Have you found the thread with the SOA on? Its at the top of the debt free wanabe board, under something like 'newbies click here' or something!