how depressing...

Pollycat

Jessica
Congratulatons on your good news.

I do appreciate that want everything on your big day to be perfect but I think maybe you should review what your priorities are.
Do you want to be married to the guy you've lived with for a number of years or do you want to be the centre of attention for one day and spend (probably) lots of money that could be better employed elsewhere.

I've been married twice, both 'on-the-cheap', in a Register Office with very small receptions.
My first marriage lasted 11 years, my second 20 years.
I wouldn't do anything different.

I'm not suggesting you get married in a Register Office but as other posters have pointed out, there are ways of getting married without breaking the bank.

Good luck
Polly

Batty_3

I'd like to add my sentiments to this:

If you want your family to share your day, then wouldn't they want to share the costs?

I got married in the 80's and was quite lucky

Dress £150
Car = Free (we were in RAF and 'borrowed' the Station Commanders Black Car from the Motor Pool)
Hire of Room - Free.......... we used the NAAFI
Food £300 (parents paid) finger Buffet done as a 'guvvie' by the RAF Cooks and they were slipped a tenner each to serve it
Drink £200 (his parents paid) Bottles of ASTI Spumanti
Disco = Free NAAFI equipment, friend did it for nothing as long as we plyed him with free drinks all night
Honeymoon = One night away B & B in Cleethopes £40. Wouldn't have gone away at all, but our house was being used to house the guests from Scotland

So I only had to find £150 for my dress. Bouquet was silk and borowed. Sister's friend had a wedding hire shop for her dress and all the men wore their RAF uniforms of course

The last wedding I went to they asked for no pressies but for Euros instead, this gave them spending money on holiday PLUS on their return they changed it back to sterling and paid the bills, so they didn't start life in debt.

It's only like the tradition of pinning money to the Brides Dress really.

Tustastic

Hi Jessica, you're fully entitled to a little rant about the frustration of having debts to pay off. You sound really focussed on paying down the debts and saving for the wedding you want and then emigration. Good luck to you - you've obviously thought it all through very carefully and I hope you have a lovely day in the end. Friends of mine were not so careful about the consequences of deciding to wait. They didn't have existing debts but decided to spend four years saving up for the wedding they wanted and it was indeed a great day and honeymoon. Unfortunately they had forgotten that it would mean they were 37 when they tried to start the family they wanted. The stress of unwanted childlessness and IVF, miscarriages etc eventually split them up. They have both found other partners now but obviously only one of them has become a parent. Us friends often wonder how different things would have been had they not 'forgotten' about having children while it was possible to do so together. Rambling now, totally irrelevant to your situation so never mind me and good luck with the debt busting and wedding planning!