help needed please

dialysis

Hi again
I need help again sorry. As you all know we moved out of our home and are going BR on the 29th May. Been in rented now since 26th March and we are just not settled. OH and I are not happy here. At present it dosnt feel like home and personally I dont think it ever will. I want to go back to my house so much so that I telehoned our mortgage company and SL today to ask if they would take reduced payments if we went back home. Mortgage company said they would for two months by half then review situation. They were really understanding. SL company were not helpful at all would knock two hundred pounds per month off premium, not much help. I rung them again later and they then decided they would accept 400 per month less and then review after two months. Dont know what to do. Financially we would be able to srape the full payments together every month but would not leave much to live on, but if I get my pension it would be easier. It is all ifs and buts at present.

As far as I can see we have two options

GO BR and stay here, will I settle eventually, it is early days?

Move home and try to meet the payments and hope I get my pension to increase my income

The other problem I have is our tenancy agreement it is for six months what happens if I move out after a month, will I get my deposit back?

Sorry guys for all this I hope you all understand just really unhappy and down just wish I could go back 12 months.

Thanks

Diane

skylight

The problem is that everything is happening all at once.

Bad state of finances, new home and probably (because it affects us all in some way I think) relationship wise things are also tough right now (due to circumstance!). Its not easy to do it all at the same time. Next to divorce these are all the highest stress makers.

Your tenancy agreement is for 6 months. They will sue you for the 6 months if you do not pay it and you will not get the deposit back under those circumstances.

Can you afford to pay your mortgage and SL if you go BR? Can you honestly and truthfully manage it at the full rate? Neither company will allow you to make reduced payments for any real length of time and scrapping by is not what living is all about.

I do not know what to suggest about the houses. I think that in your heart of hearts you know what to do. Going back to your old house is not going to make the problem any better in the long term.

I can suggest perhaps visiting your doctors if you are feeling down with everything. Its really not surprising you feel that way, but if you feel like this for any length of time please go and have a chat with him/her.

And Big Hugs. Remember - as another poster mentions a lot, BR is a rollercoaster with dips and ups. Some days are up and some are dips.

dialysis

skylight wrote: »

The problem is that everything is happening all at once.

Bad state of finances, new home and probably (because it affects us all in some way I think) relationship wise things are also tough right now (due to circumstance!). Its not easy to do it all at the same time. Next to divorce these are all the highest stress makers.

Your tenancy agreement is for 6 months. They will sue you for the 6 months if you do not pay it and you will not get the deposit back under those circumstances.

Can you afford to pay your mortgage and SL if you go BR? Can you honestly and truthfully manage it at the full rate? Neither company will allow you to make reduced payments for any real length of time and scrapping by is not what living is all about.

I do not know what to suggest about the houses. I think that in your heart of hearts you know what to do. Going back to your old house is not going to make the problem any better in the long term.

I can suggest perhaps visiting your doctors if you are feeling down with everything. Its really not surprising you feel that way, but if you feel like this for any length of time please go and have a chat with him/her.

And Big Hugs. Remember - as another poster mentions a lot, BR is a rollercoaster with dips and ups. Some days are up and some are dips.

Hi Skylight Thank you for your post. We cant afford to go BR and pay the mortgage and SL and it would be difficult to meet them fully. I didnt realise how much I would miss my house its funny but we lived there for two years and maybe I didnt realise how much I was attached to it. One of the bad points is that we lived on the same close as my in laws and they are collecting post so we go up quite a lot and have to drive straight past my bungalow. I think like you say in my heart I do know that we cannot go back and we have to look forward, debt free life yeah. Its just really hard to do sometimes.

Love Diane

AmIdone4?

Hi Diane ,

Just written a big post for you and then deleted it , as I think you know where you stand, it's just a little difficult sometimes to accept it isn't it? But I think you're doing great... and just to say hang on in there

Richard_S

Hi Diane,

It's almost impossible to say with any degree of certainty just what you can and can't do when you've got bankruptcy looming over you. We assumed that we'd have to move out of our house and sell it, or have a sale forced on us, and we managed to secure rented accomodation and duly moved out. The irony was that the landlord served us with notice to quit after 5 months and we just couldn't find other suitable rented accomodation.

In a moment of desperation, I rang the bank who held the mortgage and secured loan and was surprised by their willingness to "talk a deal". We thought our house had sold but the buyer got greedy and in the end the sale fell through. The house had been empty for 5-6 months over winter and was in something of a state, but we eventually struck a deal with the bank and moved back in.

We were wracked with mixed emotions about whether it was a good idea to go back, and the repayments were fairly horrendous but in the end, we decided that moving back was probably the best alternative. We'd got elederly relatives living close by, and I think that's probably what swung it in the end.

The O.R in theory could have objected, because the mortgage and secured loan were more than a rented property would have been; if we'd been able to rent one, and to be honest by that point I really didn't give a f00k. We'd still got two children at home, and putting a roof over their heads was far more important to us that exceeding some arbitrary allowance for housing costs.

You have got a reasonably strong hand because if your house is ultimately repossessed and sold the secured lenders will "take a significant bath" on that one. Negotiate hard and mean; offer less than you can afford, and be prepared to walk away if you don't get the deal you need.

As for the rented property, you'll be responsible for the rent until the six months are up, but it'll probably take you that long to agree terms with your lender, and they'd presumably want a suspended repossession order, so there's no great hurry. The last thing they'll want to do is sell into a falling market.

Best regards

Richard

EDIT: If your "gut feeling" tells you that you have no realistic chance of returning to your old house then don't fight the inevitable. I related our experience merely as an example of what can be achieved, even when you think the odds are insurmountable.

So_Sad_Angel

Hi Diane...hope you are OK. I too am worried if I go rent then will I regret it. I just cannot afford mtge & SL . I can`t offer advice but am thinking of you.

Richard..thankyou for sharing your experience...negotiating may be an option as in the current housing market property is just not selling & the lenders know this. Well done.

Angelxx

dialysis

AmIdone4? wrote: »

Hi Diane ,

Just written a big post for you and then deleted it , as I think you know where you stand, it's just a little difficult sometimes to accept it isn't it? But I think you're doing great... and just to say hang on in there

Thank you. We are going to sleep on it amnd think in the morning.

Lovbe Diane;)

dialysis

Richard_S wrote: »

Hi Diane,

It's almost impossible to say with any degree of certainty just what you can and can't do when you've got bankruptcy looming over you. We assumed that we'd have to move out of our house and sell it, or have a sale forced on us, and we managed to secure rented accomodation and duly moved out. The irony was that the landlord served us with notice to quit after 5 months and we just couldn't find other suitable rented accomodation.

In a moment of desperation, I rang the bank who held the mortgage and secured loan and was surprised by their willingness to "talk a deal". We thought our house had sold but the buyer got greedy and in the end the sale fell through. The house had been empty for 5-6 months over winter and was in something of a state, but we eventually struck a deal with the bank and moved back in.

We were wracked with mixed emotions about whether it was a good idea to go back, and the repayments were fairly horrendous but in the end, we decided that moving back was probably the best alternative. We'd got elederly relatives living close by, and I think that's probably what swung it in the end.

The O.R in theory could have objected, because the mortgage and secured loan were more than a rented property would have been; if we'd been able to rent one, and to be honest by that point I really didn't give a f00k. We'd still got two children at home, and putting a roof over their heads was far more important to us that exceeding some arbitrary allowance for housing costs.

You have got a reasonably strong hand because if your house is ultimately repossessed and sold the secured lenders will "take a significant bath" on that one. Negotiate hard and mean; offer less than you can afford, and be prepared to walk away if you don't get the deal you need.

As for the rented property, you'll be responsible for the rent until the six months are up, but it'll probably take you that long to agree terms with your lender, and they'd presumably want a suspended repossession order, so there's no great hurry. The last thing they'll want to do is sell into a falling market.

Best regards

Richard

EDIT: If your "gut feeling" tells you that you have no realistic chance of returning to your old house then don't fight the inevitable. I related our experience merely as an example of what can be achieved, even when you think the odds are insurmountable.

Thank you Richard for sharing your experiences with us. We are not sure what to do maybe after a sleep we might find the answer but you have given me hope. Thank you

Diane

dialysis

So_Sad_Angel wrote: »

Hi Diane...hope you are OK. I too am worried if I go rent then will I regret it. I just cannot afford mtge & SL . I can`t offer advice but am thinking of you.

Richard..thankyou for sharing your experience...negotiating may be an option as in the current housing market property is just not selling & the lenders know this. Well done.

Angelxx

HI Angel

Hope you are OK. I thought moving would be a fresh start for us but now Im not so sure. It seems everything has changed even our relationship, I suppose its just the strain. It is hard though Angel. Maybe time.

Love Diane

dodecanese

Hi Diane
I hope you are ok. Its an absolute minefield- and I know how you feel(or at least have an inkling)-I came close to giving up my house. Am in it for the minute- OR seems ok with it but by no means set in stone, the higher OR has to agree - the uncertainty grinds you down.
I know when I looked at rentals I felt absolutely bleak- I wanted my own (heavily mortgaged, uncertain) house-even tho rental would make more sense. Im still not sure I made right decision in hanging on to the house.

As Richard_S says- if your secured lender will lose out you may have a stronger hand. They have more to lose.

If it's any comfort- when I first moved in here- even though Id bought/mortgaged the house I felt very unsettled. I lived at my previous house 10 years and moving here felt weird- it could just be because its new.

Look at your options- can you REALLY afford to move back to old property? Bankruptcy/surrendering house is absolutely awful and hard. Ive had a couple of friends say to me "youre getting rid of all that debt, you must be laughing"- well, no, actually, Im not, it's been a horrible few months.
Whatever you decide, I wish you well.

savagevixen

Hello!
Sorry, I have not been around for a while and am not fully up to date with your circumstances. I am sorry you are having such an awful time, and just wanted to add to something regarding the six month tenancy.
It is not set in stone, and it is not definate they will sue you for the full term. A few years ago we moved out of area and rented a property, we took on a 12 month tenancy agreement. After 3 hellish months, I knew I would never be happy and wanted to move back (nothing to do with BR at this time, more circumstancial-discovered we were having 3rd child in 3 years and with OH out all week I needed more support) we contacted the agent and the landlord. We explained we were very sorry and our circumstances had changed and we wished to move out. They agreed and terminated the contract, we did however lose the deposit-understandably. This may not help much, but I just wanted to add, as sometimes people are reasonable and you may be able to negotiate, if that is what you wish. We also did it again 2 years later, after only 1 month in the house! That time we didn't even lose the deposit.
I am not suggesting that is what you should do, and I fully empathise with your feelings at this hard time. I would say though, if debt is ruling (and ruining) your life, and quality of life, then it doesn't disappear overnight. It may take weeks or months, but for us, our life has completely turned around and bankruptcy has been the best thing that has happened to us in a long time-but it did take quite a while before we saw it that way.
Good Luck