Entitled to benefits??

poet123

Jen do you know if your Uni has an Inclusive Learning team? most do. If so, make an appointment to see the mental health advisor and they should be able to help.

top_drawer_2

hi,

I have no idea but I think we have a mental health advisor - I am dreading work on Monday evening, not sure I can cope with it all tonight but not seeing anyway way out.

Jenn

top_drawer_2

hi,

I booked to see the mental health advisor on Friday. It doesnt sound good - she has only recently started with the uni and is still training... and she only works fridays.

I have been working on my dissertation all week... since this morning 8am and till 12 last night and its no where near finished. I have had so many extensions on this project, im sure my tutor thinks im an idiot and I jsut dont know what to do with myself. I'm not sure I Can even have another extension.

I am currently self certifying from work and I rang in sick again today (you have to ring in each day) and they said they are going to reconsider my employment as while I am not answering calls the company cant afford to have me working there. I havent even thought about my exams today.

I just dont know what to do with myself.

Jen

poet123

Oh Jen, do you have any friends/family nearby or whom you can contact?,you need some practical and positive support. I am sorry your experience with the mental health advisor has not as yet been positive,but dont give up hope,if she is training she must have a superior.

If you are not getting anywhere,ask to see her/him,you might have to make a bit of a fuss (which you shouldnt need to do) but at the very least they should be a link between you and the tutor.

How long have you been employed? can you get a sick note from the doc,I know you can self certify, but there is nothing to stop the doc giving you a sick note and it may carry more weight.

So many issues I know but feel free to PM me or post.

bestpud

Have you contacted the student counselling service at your uni, Jen?

They will help you access other help and will talk to tutors for you, if you want them too. Most of all though, they will do their best to help you through this last bit of your degree. You really sound like you could do with some support and space to sort things in your head a bit, as you appear to be completely overwhelmed at the moment.

They may have a waiting list though, so contact them asap and say how desperate you feel.

top_drawer_2

hi,

I actually moved out of home in March because I was sick of their nagging and making me feel bad - my parents make it all worse through their attitude and constantly saying No-one else's daughter is like this ... Everyone else is normal... why do we have to deal with all this ?!?! and its not even them that has to actually deal with it.

I only recently started work with the company on 14/03 and am supposed to be training yet. I have been to the Dr and he said he would give me a sick note but for this week I could self-certify.

I havent contacted my dissertation tutor for ages (he is not approachable anyway), I have just been working away on the diss alone - he has offered no guidance in terms of what he would like in the introduction/discussion sections so I am quite stressed about it all as I feel like I dont have a clue about what he wants. I really dont know what I can do about the diss - its due tommorrow at 4pm.

I have been to the student counselling service in the past (last year) and the lady I saw and I battled with each other as she was absolutely determined that I wasn't "really" ill at all and kept insisting that I justify my reason for being there - plus its very problem focused.

I have also recently finished sessions with a lady at a counselling service run by the Women's Centre in Blackburn. She didnt like to talk about anything too controversial (i.e my eating habits or anything not very nice to discuss) so we looked a lot at assertiveness etc which didnt really address anything.

I'm worried sick about this diss and I just dont know what to do with myself. I just cant face going back to it tonight but but there's so much more that I need to do to make it even passable.

Jen

bestpud

Jen_L wrote: »

hi,

I actually moved out of home in March because I was sick of their nagging and making me feel bad - my parents make it all worse through their attitude and constantly saying No-one else's daughter is like this ... Everyone else is normal... why do we have to deal with all this ?!?! and its not even them that has to actually deal with it.

I only recently started work with the company on 14/03 and am supposed to be training yet. I have been to the Dr and he said he would give me a sick note but for this week I could self-certify.

I havent contacted my dissertation tutor for ages (he is not approachable anyway), I have just been working away on the diss alone - he has offered no guidance in terms of what he would like in the introduction/discussion sections so I am quite stressed about it all as I feel like I dont have a clue about what he wants. I really dont know what I can do about the diss - its due tommorrow at 4pm.

I have been to the student counselling service in the past (last year) and the lady I saw and I battled with each other as she was absolutely determined that I wasn't "really" ill at all and kept insisting that I justify my reason for being there - plus its very problem focused.

I have also recently finished sessions with a lady at a counselling service run by the Women's Centre in Blackburn. She didnt like to talk about anything too controversial (i.e my eating habits or anything not very nice to discuss) so we looked a lot at assertiveness etc which didnt really address anything.

I'm worried sick about this diss and I just dont know what to do with myself. I just cant face going back to it tonight but but there's so much more that I need to do to make it even passable.

Jen

Perhaps you could try going back to the counselling service and seeing someone else?

I'm wondering why it being 'problem focused' is wrong for you though? I'd have said, right now, you need this kind of approach so you can formulate a plan and actually deal with the problems you have?

I'm not sure if it is helpful to say this or not but here goes:

You do come across as very apathetic and unwilling to help yourself. I'm saying this as someone who suffers from depression and anxiety, so I do know how debiliating it is, but I also know there is very little anyone can do for you if you are not prepared to push yourself.

Unfortunately, people like your tutor can only do so much and you say you've been given lots of extensions already. It does seem like you've had lots of help already, but it is clearly not the kind of help you feel you need. I'm getting the impression your family could not give you what you feel you need either?

Have you thought about what it is you actually feel you need/want from your family/tutors/counsellor?

Basically, I'm trying to ask if you can force yourself to take responsibility for your health and seek help with changing the way you deal with your depression, rather than convincing yourself you can't do anything because of it.

Many of us have had to accept we cannot get rid of our depression and instead have to work around it, as with physical illnesses. It's very difficult when you just want to curl up and never emerge again, but it really will help if you can make yourself do it. You may always be prone to depression, but it does not have to rule your life - there is an awful lot you can do to help yourself.

I may be wrong (I'm only getting a snaphshot of you) but it seems you need to stop dwelling on all that is wrong and look for the things you can change, however small they may be to start with.

Sorry if that seems harsh - it isn't meant that way.

Best wishes with your dissertation - have you decided what you are going to do about it tomorrow?

top_drawer_2

hi,

The problem with problem focused is they are so pushy for results; in six session they expect you to tell them what the problem is and solve it. The thing is there is no huge problems in my life - I just cant seem to cope with life. I just feel rubbish and I don't know why ...

My parents are exceptionaly unhelpful; my mum never wanted me to go to uni and constantly maintains that it wasnt for me based on some idea that I can't cope with living independantly and that I was best off stopping home and getting a dead end job (because X's daughter is happy with that). I am never allowed any time to myself as I am used as a live in au pair to care for my sister who has downs syndrome - I dont even have my own room as its been turned into a walkway.

My diss tutor hasnt really offered any input on any aspect of my dissertation. I am just guessing which areas I should cover as background to the research I conducted. I have asked but he is very vague. The extensions, well I don't know ... I just cant seem to pull myself together. I was sure it would be done by today and its just not - I dont know where the time seems to have gone. Its nearer to where I want it to be now than its ever been before tho so I guess that's good ... I really don't know what to do tommorrow - its no where near finished but I feel so bad that I have to ask again for an extension...

I think maybe I might go back to the counselling service and see someone else - or at least wait till I see this women and see if she can suggest someone. I got the number of a mental health helpline from the Dr's surgery but just feel a bit embarrassed about ringing them as its obvious what Im calling for IYKWIM.

Jen