Made redundant, single mum, panicking, need advice!

Jo_R_2

Hello!

I found myself on here a while ago, but circumstances have changed so was after some advice from you lovely people!

I was made redundant last week. I have been working recently 22 hours, with the rest of my money made up from tax credits, housing benefit and child benefit (I have two kids aged 1 and 4 and am a single parent.)

I have signed on and have an interview at the Job Centre on Thursday. Have informed all agencies involved of change of circumstances.

What I need now is some advice on how to *really* tighten my belt. I am in a position where I am not sure if I will be returning to work just yet or will stay at home (I suffer with depression and have taken a lot of time off work in my previous job).

I still have my car which I used to have to use for work, but have been thinking of getting rid of it. Thing is a lot of the jobs I have been looking at require use of a car so I am unsure whether to keep it 'just in case' or get rid of it then look for another one if I return to work. At any rate I need to downsize, it's a 2l Mondeo Estate and I seem to be spending enough in petrol :eek: Plus tax due at end of month.

I used to be a whizz at meal planning and budgeting on my shopping so strangely I am actually really looking forward to doing that! Any suggestions on a realistic figure for me and two young kids most appreciated.

My main worry is nursery fees and unsecured loan. I need to give notice to nursery which I think is a month so I will still have a month's worth of fees to budget for which is a scary amount!

The loan I have been thinking of taking a payment break on for a month or two. Never done this but when I phoned up last year to enquire, they said it would not be a problem as I have an excellent repayment record.

I am also in process of transferring my credit card debt to a 0% one, and have swapped contact lenses for a cheaper brand.

I've never not been in work since I got my first job nearly 11 years ago so it's all a bit scary - you know how when you are working you wish you didn't have to but then when you aren't, you wish you had a job??!! The weight of being a single parent weighs on me a lot, their dad has them regularly which helps give me a break but he doesn't pay any money as he only works part-time and only would be eligible to pay £5 per week.

I am also worried about my rent. As the house is let through an agency I am supposed to be working to live here. I am concerned about one of the agencies informing my landlord for benefit purposes (ie checking up my circumstances). I have specified when initially claiming housing benefit to NOT contact my landlord but the Job Seekers Allowance phone line asked for details of my tenancy but the man I spoke to couldn't tell me if anyone would need to contact my landlord or not.

Any thoughts, suggestions or just a nice big virtual hug would be ace... I like to think I'm a self-sufficient single mummy but I'm not feeling it so much at the mo I also find my depression means I forget to do stuff or put it off for fear of having to speak to people so I need a virtual reminder and/or prompting sometimes please

Got2change

OK - - Here's the hug you need
(((((HUUUUUGS))))))

From what I can see - despite your depression issues - you are coming across as really brave and together. You are dealing with everything head on and being very realistic so a BIG pat on the back for that.

I am not going to offer advice as I think you are doing wonderfully and there are far more well-qualified people who will surely do that, but for now I am sending you loads and loads of good wishes.

x

Jo_R_2

Thanks, hugs much appreciated!

Can I tell you something really stupid (don't laugh!)

I have been putting off giving notice to nursery. Ridiculous when you think it's a money matter. But DD1 is four and has been going since she was seven months old, and when ex moved out, I made a conscious decision to stay here in this house in this area because I wanted the girls to have some stability when their world was all upside down. Which meant staying in the same house, keeping the same nursery and preschool, and network around us.

She adores nursery, she asks me every day if she's going because she loves it so much. And the thought of having to tell her she can't go anymore is killing me. I KNOW how upset she is going to be and it just makes me feel like a bit of a failure that I can't keep that stability and familiarity that she knows around her when she needs it.

I also know the rational part of me says, you feel so strongly because you are depressed, the logical part says she'll be okay, she's four and starting school in September, so it'll have to happen anyway eventually...

Doesn't stop me feeling rubbish about it though

Got2change

Aw hun; don't beat yourself up.

If you didn't feel this way, you wouldn't the wonderful momma that you are - depressed or not, you are in cr***y situation.......

I really wish I knew more about nursery places and costs and how that fits with working not working (but my baby is 20 next month and nurseries like nowadays just simply didn't exist back then) so that I could offer some intelligent advice but I can only repeat - please don't be hard on yourself over it - and you know what, someone on here will have better suggestions than I ever could.

x

dinx1972

Rather than stop nursery all together, how about enquirying whether your nursery takes the vouchers, surely she is entitled to 5 sessions a week through the government scheme? (Sorry ex-childcare worker). All children from the term after their 3rd birthday are entitled to 5 x 2 and a half hour sessions per week during term time. Just a thought and maybe worth looking into instead of stopping her altogether. HTH.

RoxieW

Hi hon - big virtual hug here!

Re the nursery - could she still not go for the 'free' funded sessions? The nursery my kids went to had kids that just went for the free morn or aft sessions.

Dont put off giving notice thou - you cant afford it if you're not working and getting help from tax credits! MAybe if you explained the financial situation they may let you give a shorter notice period? I did this when my hub got made redundant and the notice period was waived. If you dont ask...

It sounds like a tough situation, but there dad needs to be contributing. Even if its just to the groceries/buying them clothes. I'd be having a firm chat about him needing to find a way to contribute more - they're his flesh and blood at the end of the day - he should be taking some financial responsibility.

I think, re the work situation, see how you go on at home, financially and otherwise. You may love it, you may want 'something' else in your life.

If you do decide to stay at home, it would be the perfect time to think about retraining/gaining qualifications etc (not suggesting you dont have any!) as you should get financial help/fees paid/childcare paid etc. Think long term - what would you like to do/be in an ideal world? What job willl provide a secure, good future for you asnd your kids? For example, I'm considering starting down the long route of training to became a midwife.

MAybe post up your SOA so we can give suggestions to your budget.

Good luck!

Jo_R_2

Thanks dinx. As it stands DD1 attends nursery AND preschool and the vouchers are used for preschool, five mornings a week.

I have thought about swapping the vouchers to use to pay for DD1's nursery and take her out of school. This would be more feasible anyway as it is terribly difficult to find someone to pick her up from school at 11.30am when I am at work and for them to take her to nursery, so it makes more sense for her to just be at nursery.

I would still have to cancel or suspend DD2's nursery place as she's only one and I have to pay her full fees. Bit scary, I love my kids but the thought of having DD2 at home with me full-time is very very daunting. Luckily I didn't have postnatal depression when I had DD2 (did with DD1) so I enjoyed it more on maternity leave with her but feeling like I am now, it's a scary thought.

ppolly

Lots of hugs for a tricky time for you.
I would say downsize the car rather than get rid of it. I'm at home with my daughter most of the time at the moment because the initial cost of getting another car didn't make economic sense to get me to and from the part-time work I would have wanted.
Could you maybe keep nursery for a day or two a week? Perhaps until the summer holidays?
I think you sound very brave and organised.

vandanfc

Will you be getting any redundancy pay ? Did you have any payment protection on anything that might now come into effect ?

Posting your soa will be start, also get applying for council tax rebate and housing benefit.

Jo_R_2

I will be getting some redundancy pay at the end of the month, it's not loads but it should see me through some outstanding stuff, hopefully should have enough for this month's nursery fees and am going in tomorrow to sort out the notice period. Am planning on just explaining the situation and asking if I can just waive DD2's notice period, whilst keeping DD1 in for the funded sessions.

I have payment protection on my loan, I'm not sure if I'm eligible through the kind of work I was doing but I shall be finding that out as I hadn't thought of it.

I was already claiming housing benefit and council tax benefit so they're currently reassessing my claim. Should hopefully hear from them shortly.

RAS

Hi

if you have been paying PPI and it does not pay out because of the type of wrk you are doing, it is likely to be mis-sold and then you should reclaim it.