feeling really down-seem to be working againt husband.

droopinlily

Now this I can really empathise with, having an ex hubby who was identical to yours... even down to the cars!

It takes a shock, a big one, to make them realise - unfortunately my ex didn't come to his senses until he lost everything, his business, his home - the lot.

Funnily enough it was his mother who would actually give him handouts to help him get his cars and stuff. It doesn't help when a wife has different ideas to mother-in-law does it?

Like someone else said, sit him down (tie him to a chair if needs be) with all the debts in front of him and give him the total picture.

It might help. I certainly hope it does.
Hugs...

Pollycat

I think that is an incredibly selfish thing for your hubby to do (hide £1000 in his account and then buy a car).

He should be working WITH you in this, instead of against you.
Unfortunately, as droopinlily (and I) found out, the LBM doesn't always come in time.

I hope that you manage to get the seriousness of your situation through to him before it's too late.

Best wishes.
Polly

SmellyOldSock

Just wanted to offer you support. My hubbie just isn't interested in our money, as long as he has beer he's happy.

Perhaps telling his mother might spur him in the right direction, he obviously talks to her about what he's doing.

best wishes
Charlotte

StressedSteph

Bismarck wrote: »

Right,

He's not had his lightbulb moment yet or if he has he's covered it over and is spending while he can before the big freeze...he'll probably say it was just one last car or something like that before the fun stops.

He needs a short sharp shock.

WE owe £xxxxK
WHERE IS IT GOING TO COME FROM ?
IF WE DON'T PAY THERE WILL BE NO HOUSE AND WE WILL LOSE EVERYTHING INCLUDING YOUR S*DDING CARS
YOU ARE NOT HERE TO TAKE THE GROTTY PHONE CALLS AND DEAL WITH THE MESS. TELL YOU WHAT I'LL GIVE ANY CALLERS YOUR MOBILE AND WORK NUMBER TO CALL. OK?
YOU ARE BEING UNREASONABLE AND SELFISH
I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS

Sorry you have this to deal with, it needs to be a team effort.

hope whatever you say works

I agree with Bismarck :mad:

chevalier

I would tell him that under the terms of the DMP he is allowed ONE car FOR WORK and you are too, AND THAT IS IT. So when will you see the listings in autotrader for the rest.

Either that or else do the DMP for you alone. And then do exactly what you said give his creditors numbers to contact him on, tell any who phone that you don't deal with your OH affairs and here are the numbers. He may well then have a light bulb forced on him.

sorry you are married to such a selfish immature git
chev

SarahNeedle1872

Just wanted to add my support - how selfish can one person be!?!

hopefully u are in a DMP together and he will have to get rid of all his precious cars..... mean? Me? Never!

Good luck and take care

Sarah x

LilacPixie

I am also married to a child with similar tastes.

Our debt is in my siggy yet he still wants a 'new car' he already has one that is more than functunal but i digress.

What i have done is assume total control of our account. He has a basic account with another bank and he gets a small 'allowance' paid into that weekly from his wages and if he wants anymore he has to earn it by working overtime or doing something that doesn't interfer with familly time.

He is also aware of our debts to a penny and the APR's I will tell him how muc of his c/card payment is going on interest and what is actually reducing the balance to let him think he is choosing to pay the debt.

If he won't have a spontaneous light bulb moment smack him over the head with one

bathgatebuyer

OMG :eek: What a selfish man. Does he have any idea what it's like to field calls from DCAs all the time? Does he know what he stands to lose if he doesn't sort himself out? And what the hell is with this 'it's my money' attitude :mad: I'm angry on your behalf!

Have you sat him down and said to him, "This is how bad it is and you're not helping"??? Show him the snowball calculators, statements, anything and everything, but he must know what will happen if he doesn't get his money sorted out.

You must feel really violated with his complete lack of trust while leaving you to sort out the mess. You are not his financial doormat. And tell him that if he doesn't sort it out of his own accord (and that's not a Honda Accord by the way!) then you'll have to get advice from elsewhere whether his parents or Relate or someone.

kizzykizzywizzy

I have been told by my Husband that I treat him like a school boy, where money is concerned, well if he grew up I'd treat him like a Man!!
No point one of you cutting down, eeking out the pennies, living cheaply, whilst the other lives as though they haven't got a care in the world ( mine still covets what everyone else has got/bought ) He's had a semi-lightbulb, but he still has the dimmer switch on!
Hope your other half comes onboard soon & as for his mum, depends, but it would be a waste of time telling my other halfs, she wouldn't say anything!

thepinkladez_2

thank you all for you support some of these replies have really put a smile on my face, you lot can be so funny!:rotfl:

just to add my husband got the £1000 from selling bits of car c**p on ebay, not that it makes hiding it any better than if he had hidden it from his wages!

i am currently doing the silent treatment (full 24hrs now and its killing me-i am a chatterbox at heart!), petty i know but hoping he will crack soon and want to talk about it and hopefully i will have calmed down and not scream at him, then we can have a very construtive chat!!

This is the last straw now, i have spent too long feeling guilty that he works very long hours to provide for us so he should have some things he enjoys. He has to accept that this just isnt possible. think my next step is to leave the delightful debt collection letters we have had out on the table so he sees them, that might scare him!ooohhh i am evil!:p

maybe then he will have a semi-lightbulb moment possibly with the dimmer switch on but least its not off, being the stubbon ar** he is i think that the best i can hope for!