Shared house: how does everyone else manage?

born_again_saver

I would also suggest seeking a house share with fewer people. 5 people sounds like quite a busy and crowded house in terms of use of communal areas, and it means there's a lot of mess-making potential. Professionals and students living together is also not ideal as already mentioned above.

I know you say you cannot afford to live on your own, but could you try to find a room where you're basically lodging in the owner's house? This would reduce the number of people you're sharing with to probably just one, you'd get an idea of their idea of tidyness/cleanliness when looking around the place. As it's their own house they may be more willing to take care of it and clean up, but the drawback may be that they'll be more insistent on setting the house rules the way they'd like them as it's their house after all.

Whether you stay or move I think that open straightforward communication is likely to be the best way forward to deal with these kind of issues. If you move then a good discussion about ground rules from the outset is a very good idea, but harder admittedly if you're moving into a house with established tenants there already. Unfortunately some people are just hard to live with or inconsiderate, so it does seem if the problem person/people doesn't listen you'll end up having to put up or move out (or hope they move first!).

neas

Suggest to the landlord he hires a cleaner 1 day a week to come and clean kitchen/livin/bathroom.

Had this at my old address and it worked a charm,... sure people didny clean bathroom/kitcehn except do dishes but it never got disgustingly bad that it caused an argument.

Guy_Montag

It's not really the landlord's problem, I wouldn't get him involved.


Discuss with nice flatemate about moving into a place with just the two of you.

barnaby-bear

PasturesNew wrote: »

Grab your airer back and put it in your room. Get a plastic washing basket and if anything's left in the machine just empty it into the washing basket and leave it there.

Then cook a nice smelly curry....

Get a washing up bowl and if it's one main offender clear the sink into it and put it outside their door.

You can get really small cages that padlock that will fit in a fridge shelf (can you tell I was a student for 7 years yet) - there's also a dye that's colourless in milk but stains human cells bright blue (as supplied by my biochem housemate) alternatively add vast quantities of salt to the remaining milk and avoid yourself or have a special marker and mark your milk in a really obvious way with messages like "oi no theiving scum".

Icey77

Put green food colouring in your milk that will stop her from using it again

Badger_Lady

I'm reading this with interest because I've just started introducing new people to my house (I'm the live-in landlady) - there are currently 3 of us, with a 4th joining next weekend.

I lived in shared houses when I was younger, and to be honest nothing really bothered me. Now I get little niggles, but nothing really life-changing to get worked up about!

I'm 25, but all my lodgers are males aged 28-29 and I think they're fab! They usually just like to hang out in their rooms, but will come downstairs for a drink when invited... I've put in a V+ box so that there are never arguments about the TV (you can record two channels whilst watching a third), although I seem to be the only one who watches it anyway.

One of the lodgers is putting a plasma screen in his room, and I'm putting an old CRT (Freecycle) in my room for those quiet nights in.

I've never have problems with food-sharing (why would anyone want my vegan grub!?), but if the fridge were more widely-used, I would feel more comfortable putting a little one in my room. They don't have to be expensive, and they're certainly more secure for more expensive booze!

I'm probably the worst for washing up - I usually keep up with it, but every so often I turn the kitchen into a chocolaterie and it can take me a while to wash up all the moulds / equipment, although I usually leave it on the side rather than in the sink.

One of my housemates leaves his washing in the machine for days at a time - I hang it out for him to save on arguments, including displaying his boxers in the kitchen. A couple of jokes over a beer about him "never having been housetrained", and hopefully he's now been gently embarassed into doing it himself in future.

I guess I've been lucky to have a good crowd - if problems do build up, I'd hope we're all mature enough to host a little "house meeting" with an agenda of items to address. No pointing out individuals, just laying down the rules.

Certainly, if cleaning becomes an issue, as Landlord I will happilly hire a cleaner to sort out the communal rooms. £12 a week for a clean, stress-free life

chappers

I very much doubt your LL will want to get involved in your house squabbles I would suggest you and the other willing person get together and as was said arrange a meeting where you can all air your gripes.
Leave anote on the fridge saying who keeps stealing my milk, dump her washing out of the dryer onto her bed. Also do the same with the washing up, me and a flat mate did this to one of our friends we had been away for the weekend and came back to find George had, had friends round for dinner and had used virtually every item in the kitchen, then had just left it piled up complete with all the food waste, he then dissappeared back off to Surrey for the summer. As this was the umpteenth time he had pulled similar stunts, we decided to wash up enough stuff for us to get by and then dumped the rest of the stuff, complete with all the left over food, in his bed and just shut the door.
That taught him a lesson, he became quite good with the washing up after that.
As guy says why not move in with the good housemate.

Mac_Sami

Speech and talking are wonderful things. I think your answer lies there. Talk to your flatmates.

You don't need to chuck rubbish around or leave snotty notes - that won't help things in the long run. Instead just explain the issues, be polite, firm but fair. You need to do this face to face - leaving notes and hints just makes for a worse atmosphere.

If that doesn't work, why not consider chatting to the other "good" housemate and arrange getting a place for the two of you?

liz545

Daz1 wrote: »

Has the same proble with the dishes in the sink. Ended up buying plastic tubs, each a different colour, for each person so that if they didn't feel like doing their washing up, they could store their dirty plates etc in the tub in the kitchen until the time came. Also helps when you run out of plates to see who is slacking on the washing up and call them up on it

I did this in my student house - it works quite well. You do feel like you're being a bit difficult at first, everyone with their plate/cup/bowl/saucepan and washing up gear, but it really is much easier. Don't ask your landlord to mediate - this is your problem, and you need to handle it yourself with your flatmates. Keep your airer in your room, and if there's stuff left in the washer/dryer dump it into a laundry basket. Try asking your flatmates not to drink your milk/eat your food/change the channel if you want to watch something rather than leaving notes - if this doesn't work, there's always the hide your belongings/sabotage route. And try and socialise with them a bit - you need to try and build a relationship with them outside of quibbles like this!

youonlygetonelife

I think that the age of the student maybe the problem. 17 yrs is very young; for this day and age, to be living in a shared house.