Hope for Best, Plan for Worst Blog Discussion 24 August 2005 at 2:24PM in Debt-free wannabe 6 replies 2.2K views

Former_MSE_Andrea

Click reply to discuss Martin's blog here.

Jacster_2

I totally agree with recognising where you are now and living within your means.

I disagree with the headline of the blog. "Face it, you won’t be a success!"

It's wrong to ask people to tone down their hopes and dreams. Reality kills hopes and dreams enough as it is.

Walt Disney said 'If you can dream it, you can do it'.

This attitude is an essential precursor to any success, and we should never quash it.

That said, we should actively discourage people from spending money like they are already there.;):D

mountainofdebt

Reminds me of a story I was told once.

A boy at school told a teacher that he wanted to become a doctor ....the teacher laughed and told him that he would never become one.

The boy left school and went into a dead end job...although still dreaming of becoming a doctor so he went to evening classes to get the exams to enter medical school, which he did and eventually he did become a doctor.

Some time after he qualified there was a school reunion and the boy met up with the teacher. The boy introduced himself to the teacher as a doctor.....the teacher was gobsmacked.

As Jacster hits the mark totally.

nrsql

I think Martin is cautioning against building up debt assuming you will be ble to afford it later.
I would agree with that - strive for success (whatever you think that means) if you must but don't throw money away on things unconnected with that journey.

Luvly.cuppa.T

See that's the thing nrsql, we are taught by advertising that to be sucessful, you only need this product, and this one, oh and this one, not forgetting this one!

I think it's great to have hope and to aim to be the best you can in something (my idea of success- because I think that that can be hard! I'm the person that takes exams without revising and very lucikly gets by, but time has taught me that that really isn't good enough now, and it doesn't satisfy me doing it that way, but it is hard to change old habits- oops!)

But the problem is that we are all able to get credit, esp at a young age when we really don't have too much experience with money and how evil the debt world is. At 19, 20+ you don't want a mortgage, you want to LIVE a life and that's what you do, and this is the time that you are full of dreams and believe that you can do them. You also want to show others that you can cope and buy into the things that advertise that if you have this , you really are someone. This includes cars too. Quite an expense when they want to be.

Of course living within your means is the way to go, absolutely, I agree, but we need to be taught about this, or learn the hard way.

I think that parents should be hot on the subject of money with their kids, and open with it, yet not controlling.
Years ago living on income support with one child I budgeted very well, including food shopping at £15 a week. It could be done now, andI was very good at doing it. On top of that, I bought most stuff from car boots, charity shops, etc and was always very pleased with my finds,. Although my mother always had a 'oh my poor daughter having to do that' attitude. This didn't help, as it didn't bother me, yet with this over time, you begin to wonder, what is out there, that I am missing? I learnt the hard way, but opening that door, and within reason, yes you need to spend more on things that will last, but not on everything. I don't mind buying second hand clothes and pots and pans, but I have learnt that putting money into good sturdy furniture pays off!! (Mdf packs always seem to fall apart, but the stuff I have now will last forever!)
My son now, because I have been open about money, is quite aware of money and sometimes refuses me to buy him something, because the cost doesn't justify it. He's nearly 10, and is very savvy with his own money, which I think is brilliant. Although I do worry that it may go the other way, where he will want to be 'in the money' to prove something to me, as his nw deceased father did with his mum , who used to be in benefits. He got into some debt over this, purely to prove something and to be something, as the advertisers want you to do.

I intend to sit down with my children and have a 'fun' session about money and debts. I think that a catalogue and cutting out pictures will help with something on the lines of ' what do you REALLY need in your house', rather then what do the advertisers want you to have.
I'm also going to ask them all how you pay for things in life, and what do you need to pay for to keep going!!

It all sounds drastic, but they need to know , so they have the knowledge. That's what's parenting is all about surely? Ans surely that's where it all begins with money and debts too?

I know that this is a long reply, and might not be totally on subject, but I have to add one last thing. I really think it is the way that we are taught with money from our parents. If you constantly say that 'you can't have that, because you can't afford that, then you will rebel and buy that thing. I admit, I did that on a few occasions with the shopping budget. However taking that into consideration , I should have allowed once a month a bigger shop allowance, so I wouldn't blow! That will be the same with the kids I'm thinking. If you word it in a way that you cannot have that because our maximum today is xx amount, but if we save x per week, we have that, then that would be a better start for kids. That's if advertising doesn't get in there first.....

skintchick

My Head of Sixth told me, aged 18 "You'll never be a journalist without an English degree."

I never went to university.

I started my first job as a reporter aged 19.

I have won awards and been asked to join committees because of my achievements in my career.

I've been a journalist for ten years now.

Sometimes, wanting something enough and being prepared to work for it will make it happen.

Nuff said.


(Still skint though!)

towseriv

Part of the problem is Uni, many tutors tell you that the world is rosy and all will be good for you. You are given the idea you will walk out of graduation and into a good paid job and afford all of what you have thought about for the last three years. Some people ignore less paid jobs hoping good ones will come along. this only happens for the small minority.