make them something else or let them starve?

cookie_monster

I tend to let my 4yr old go without if he doesn't eat his meal, he's now got this habit of playing with his food thinking it's funny,I then let him eat the same meal cold when he stops playing up....Why are 4yr old's such monsters?

KiKi

I agree with others who said that you need to taste it and see what you think yourself.

Kids are very sensitive to changes in texture and taste and - whilst plenty of kids will just react to change and therefore try it on a bit - there will always be things that they genuinely don't like.

Also, consider the context - are they kids who *always* play with their food or make a big deal out of meal times? Are they always trying it on? If so, let 'em starve! If they are usually pretty good with food, then I'd be a bit kinder!

However, I would *never* offer chocolate or sweets as an alternative. That tells them that they can refuse food and be rewarded for it, and in the bigger picture that they can say 'no' to mummy and be rewarded for it.

Also, as you said, they *asked* for the chocolate, so it teaches them that they can refuse what they are being given and that they can demand what they want instead. In effect, it gives them control of the situation, an absolute no-no!

Offer something plain and uninteresting that they like as an alternative.

If they won't eat the alternative *or* the meal - then they don't get anything else! If they throw a hissy fit over it, tough.

KiKi

CRANKY40

Nope, no sweeties from me either.

I have a 3 year old who isn't keen on food. I was worse than him, so we don't do meal time battles. I never ate when I was small, and I am overweight now, so children who are fussy eaters survive.

What I do is offer two acceptable (to me) choices for each meal. The choices depend on what has been eaten previously.

Breakfast choice this morning was weetabix or crumpet, he chose crumpet, so his lunch choice was fish and potatoes or sausage and chips. He chose fish, so his evening meal choice will be noodles and sauce (his favourite), as he has had protein today, or cheese on toast.

If he had chosen weetabix for his breakfast which is fortified cereal, then I may have offered noodles for his lunch if you see what I mean.

I would offer your two another savoury choice (as someone else said, they are entitled not to like something) but I would make it clear that there is no more chocolate on offer until they eat a proper meal.

I also tend to offer new things at lunchtimes rather than the evening. I have been woken once by a hungry child requesting a sandwich in the middle of the night :rotfl: He didn't get a sandwich, but it taught me to give him food I know he will eat in the evening.

Sharra

My 13yo is still a fussy eater and in hindsight its because I didn't want battles at dinner time so used to cook him what I knew he would eat when he was little. I've been trying to rectify this since he was about 5.
I would suggest that you put something you know they will eat on the plate as well as new things, that way you at least know they are going to eat something you have cooked. Then you can use persuasion to get them to eat the new thing. (I do this with my son now and it works). Sticker charts for eating new things work really well.
I have never let my son get away with suddenly deciding he doesn't like something, if he's eaten it before and won't now, then he always went hungry.
Maybe get into the habit of a small supper just before bed, then at least you know that if they refused to eat their tea, they won't wake you up in the night cos they are hungry.

miserly_mum

I never gave any of my kids a meal I knew they didn't like. But if they didn't eat something they'd had and eaten before then they could have a bowl of cereal or do without.

Mrs_Thrify

When my 3 were little my OH use to sometimes say the "I don't like" words, of course the kids would copy... after a few choise words he soon learn't to keep quiet until they had eaten theirs.
If the children on their own say it, I would wait a bit and then offer some fruit. Best Wishes...Julie

maypole

I would agree with most of the other posts and I would never give them the chocolate, I don't agree with giving babies and toddlers sweets anyway.

The time comes soon enough when they are older and see friends eating sweets and then you have to give in a little. Sorry to be a little off topic, but why give them sweets when they have no choice in the matter, they aren't going refuse something that tastes yummy! you only ruin their teeth and potentially make them fat.

This isn't aimed at you personally eliza-d, it's just a thing I have;)

sleepybookworm7

I am reasonably strict with my two. I learnt with number one that you can give them up to 3 different things at a meal and they still won't eat any of them.

So, generally, they get what they get. You need to tune your 'mummy radar' into the things they really don't like. I will try a new meal/ingredient with them twice, that pretty much tells me whether they like it or not.

I have often had favourite meals turned down without good reason. In that case, they do not get offered an alternative. If they then eat, I know they were trying it on. If they don't, then they're not hungry.

Good luck...

Cornishpixie_2

I've done that before and ended up fed up as was cooking all day for kids to say I don't like that.:eek: I try give them well balanced meals and just do variations of the same meal. Like pasta 2 like without sauce, 2 with. Then put grated cheese on the table for kids to add. Jacket pots, and tortilla's put various fillings on table let them choose. Seems to be working. So maybe sit at table with them eating a basic dish and encourage kids to add little bits, like some sweetcorn,peas, cheese, or peppers whatever you have in the fridge or cupboard, but only try a few at a time.Good luck

System

The thing is with kids, they often take one look at something and deciding they dont like it before they have even tried it.

In my house i have made a rod for my own back as my mealtimes stretch from 4pm till 6 and i am cooking two different meals. The kids meals, then mine and my other halves. If i had my time again i wouldnt have started it in the first place.