Is it worth being married

January20

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

But many couples stay unmarried for financial advantage; isn't that the same thing? The government used to encourage marriage by offering tax advantages, now the opposite is true.

Yes absolutely! so perhaps there should be no financial advantages to being married or being unmarried and then people would get married because they want to?

Oldernotwiser

January20 wrote: »

Yes absolutely! so perhaps there should be no financial advantages to being married or being unmarried and then people would get married because they want to?

That would be fine if children weren't involved. All statistics show that children do better when they have parents who are married to each other. Stability for children and society are what governments need to encourage and at present policies do exactly the opposite.

margaretclare

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

That would be fine if children weren't involved. All statistics show that children do better when they have parents who are married to each other. Stability for children and society are what governments need to encourage and at present policies do exactly the opposite.

I agree with this, and I read a report last week saying the same thing. Although it's not impossible - I grew up as child of an unmarried mum in the days when it really wasn't the thing to be, and I've done all right. A child needs to know who he/she is and where he/she belongs.

However, the OP is saying he IS married, has been for 40 years, so it's not a question of whether to marry or not. He was asking whether it would be advantageous financially to get divorced and live together, as a relative in Australia is doing.

It's quite chilling, isn't it? One wonders what his wife of 40 years thinks of his idea.

halia

January20 wrote: »

Financially, perhaps but what about emotionnally?

in some ways yes, if money is a big problem within your relationship sometimes having it seperated out could help. I know I'd be LESS stressed if I wasn't worrying about the disparity in our income levels all the time, if decisions to spend or save were mine alone etc etc.

[Deleted User]

I would give you a very cold shoulder if I were your wife and had any inkling of your thoughts about divorce OP. How on earth can you even think about putting a price on 40+ years of marriage

pollyanna24

I think everyone is being a bit harsh on the OP. For all you know, the wife might be as much of a tighta*** as him and completely agree to getting divorced if it helps them financially!

I don't see how it can be classed as fraud. It's not illegal to live in the same house, but not be married to someone. Why shouldn't people be allowed to divorce and remain in the same house? If this is because they would be better off financially, then who is the government to say they have to stay married to each other?! The government should change the rules if that's the way they want it. They can't say the OP can't have any benefits he might be entitled to because he got divorced. Everyone's free to do that if they want. It's not the same as claiming sick benefit when you're not sick. If you're not married, you're not married, simple as and if you're entiteld to benefits because of that, then I guess you should get them.

As for the posters who say children would be better off if their parents were married, I don't quite see how. Me and bf have been together for 9 years and I am pregnant with my first. I don't see this as a reason to go out and get a piece of paper and let all my family/friends get drunk on my money! We are more "together" than a lot of married people!

margaretclare

It is not possible to explain to someone who thinks that 'marriage is just a piece of paper, an excuse for family and friends to get drunk', that there is more to marriage than that. Marriage is not just 'a piece of paper'.

FWIW, although we had wine with our wedding reception, no one got drunk. And I have never been to a wedding where anyone got drunk, or saw their wedding invitation as an 'excuse to get drunk', either.

pollyanna24

margaretclare wrote: »

It is not possible to explain to someone who thinks that 'marriage is just a piece of paper, an excuse for family and friends to get drunk', that there is more to marriage than that. Marriage is not just 'a piece of paper'.

FWIW, although we had wine with our wedding reception, no one got drunk. And I have never been to a wedding where anyone got drunk, or saw their wedding invitation as an 'excuse to get drunk', either.

I'm not saying there isn't more to marriage than that. I just don't see what that bit of paper does. I'm not saying I'm never going to get married, it's just I think there's more to being together than being married. The houses we have owned together link us more than being married as it's easier to get divorced than it is to sell a house these days! :rolleyes:

margaretclare

I agree that 'a bit of paper' is nothing in itself. Anyone can write anything on a 'bit of paper', but if you can't see the difference, it's impossible to explain.

BTW there MUST be some value in 'that bit of paper'. We recently had an attempted break-in at our local Methodist church. It's not the kind of church that has e.g. silver candlesticks, a charity box for the poor, in fact nothing at all worth stealing. The weekly collections aren't left in church, they're taken away by the church treasurer and banked. It's thought that what was being targeted was the book of unused marriage certificates, kept in an old-fashioned cast-iron safe in the vestry. Those certificates, we were told by the police, are as good as currency.

aliasojo

I must have missed something in the first post as I was under the impression the OP was asking for factual information with regard to the financial differences between being married or being single............ and not opinions as to what his wife might feel or about how others think it would be really rather bad to divorce someone purely for financial benefit.