So Confused!

ezmay

Hi all

I've found this site this evening and spent the last few hours starting to feel I'm not on my own in all this! Thank you!

I've spent approximately 10 years hiding and running away from debts which started at university and culminated (a couple of years ago) in me having a REALLY bad credit rating (ie I can never get credit for anything) and use of a basic cash card bank account.

Due to a life changing event in 2005, I had to move back to my home town to live with my parents (I'd already been ignoring letters etc for a number of years at this point). However, all was quiet until just before last Christmas when a few of my creditors seem to have found me (I don't know how - I'm not on the electoral register and I'm living far away from the cities where I've spent the previous 10 years).

I'm getting letters and phone calls on a daily basis from banks, utiities companies, phone companies and others. There have even been people knocking on the door asking if I live there (I don't know who they were, but they weren't bailiffs). My parents are understandably concerned.

I've had my head in the sand for so long, I don't even know how much I owe and who to (although I have a rough idea).

I'm not working at the moment, so I can't pay them anything at the moment and if I was working I couldn't earn enough to something to all of them each month which is making me wonder what is the point in talking to them. So I'm still hiding and ignoring the phone.

I'm scared of sending off for a credit report from Equifax (I can't get one from Experian as I don't have a credit card) in case others then know where I am and as I'm at my parents address I don't want to cause them MORE grief or ruin their credit.

I know I need to sort this mess out, and it has to start with me getting a list of everyone I own money to (some of this dates back to 1995 onwards).

Can anyone tell me if this will have any affect of my parent’s credit rating? Also, if I declare myself bankrupt from their address, with this affect them?

I'm quite scared, a bit relieved I'm going to do something about it rather than throw unopened post straight in the bin but also concerned for my parents. I know I can't move on with all this hanging over me. Help!

Thanks for any advice you may have.



Ezmay

belfastgirl23

Sorry I don't have enough experience to give you any real advice although I know the wise folk on here tend to refer you to CCCS.co.uk - it might be worth having a look there for some more info. The boards will probably be quiet now - be sure and bump the thread up in the morning if you've not had any responses - it's only that people haven't seen it.

Well done on your LBM (light bulb moment ) :T:T:Tthere will be lots of help and support for you here tomorrow....

And good luck in your DFW journey

piglet29

Hi ezmay and welcome:hello: I dont really have any advice (sorry) but i am sure there will be someone along any minute with some good advice for you and you have made a good start by coming here for help, hope things get sorted for you:D and good luck

Clariman

Hi Ezmay and welcome. You have made a good start by finding this place and making such an honest post. The next thing to do is to stay calm and start trying to piece together what you owe and to whom. Once you've done that you can start working out how to address it. There is not really any point in hiding from the debts. You need to start opening up the envelopes and dealing with things.

You should be able to get hold of your credit report from any credit reference agency. You have a statutory right to see any information that they hold on you for a small admin fee of £2. You can find details of applying for the Experian one here http://www.wiseconsumer.uk.experian.com/ and the Equifax one here https://www.econsumer.equifax.co.uk/consumer/uk/sitepage.ehtml?forward=gb_elearning_credit14

Good luck
Clariman

boredofbeingathome

Well done for posting. You have a lot on your plate at the moment and understandably are feeling overwhelmed with the enormity of it all.
Your first port of call should be to one of the debt charities which are free to use.
secondly- i don't think it will affect your parents credit rating.
Thirdly as you are living at home and this is happening, they will have probably looked at previous addresses on your credit file and will be trying those to find you.
Finally i think your mum and dad will already know, and will help you forward. Take a deep breath and begin to get your life back. it can be done.
Other posters will be along with advice, soon. good luck. Bobx

ezmay

Thanks for replying so quickly, all of you!

It's actually been quite difficult for me to admit there's anything wrong - I like to float along pretending everything will be fine. Which of course, it won't.

So I've had my Light Bulb Moment - (I didn't realise there was a phrase for it! ) It's quite apt really. Suddenly I felt I have to do something. It's a big step though - actually admitting it all to myself before sorting it out.

Thanks again. I know it's late and wasn't really expecting anyone to reply - nevermind so supportively and with good information (I'll go and check out the links to Experian and Equifax - ta)!

I'm actually feeling a bit teaful, just from writing it down! Strange. Well, it is late.

I'll bump this in the morning.

Thanks again
Ezmay

ezmay

boredofbeingathome wrote: »

You have a lot on your plate at the moment and understandably are feeling overwhelmed with the enormity of it all.

Couldn't have put it better myself!

Thanks Bob.

Ezmay

thevinternet

Hi Ezmay,

Well done for posting and asking for help - I've not been here that long but these guys are great and will help you to sort everything out.

One thing I did notice is that you said that some of the debts go back to 1995 - if this is the case, I think that any debts six years old or more will have been wiped from your credit files and you won't need to pay them back - can anyone clarify on this point please?

Try not to panic, plenty of people have been in your shoes and have come out the other side. And once you start sorting things out, you'll feel soooo much better - no more sleepless nights, lying to friends or hiding bank statements.

V xxx

belfastgirl23

Just to say if you're signing for experian I think Quidco do cashback on this (check it out www.quidco.com) as well as getting a free experian trial. I don't remember them asking for your current address btw. Good luck.

edit just checked and you get 6.50 from quidco if you go via them to experian. As well as the free trial.

Clariman

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

Just to say if you're signing for experian I think Quidco do cashback on this (check it out www.quidco.com) as well as getting a free experian trial. I don't remember them asking for your current address btw. Good luck.

edit just checked and you get 6.50 from quidco if you go via them to experian. As well as the free trial.

Just be careful because there are various ways of getting your credit file. The links I gave were to the £2 statutory reports which provide all the information they hold on you. Experian and Equifax also offer much more profitable services (for them) where they charge about £6 per month for your to have online access to your credit file. These chargeable services also usually have a free 30 day period but you have to cancel within that time to avoid being charged the monthly fee. I am certain that the Quidco cashback will be for signing up for the 30 day trial of the chargeable services. If the OP has let her financial organisation slip, then my personal view is that it would be better going for the statutory report, rather than having to remember to cancel a free trial for a chargeable service.

Clariman

scooterwife

As a mum, i'd like to agree with boredofbeingathome and say tell you're parents. they probable already have some idea, but might be worried that its something worse than it is (I know, you don't think there could be anything worse!) but your imagination goes into overdrive as a parent!!!

However...... you know your parents and I don't.
I know I would try to help my daughters in this situation, even if the only thing I could do was hold their hand a bit while they worked out what to do.