Depression Support Thread

ilovegreatdanes

cc....sorry you are feeling bad lately.i am expert at treading on eggshells after 25 years with mine....and still feel like a stranger, even now.men will always be a mystery wrapped in an enigma to me...and much prefer my own company alot.
have been ill myself recently and maybe im a bad patient or maybe ,noone else can be ill but dh.
maybe the marriage is alot to do with my depression...as in, a wasted life and regrets....he tok the best years of my life type thing, maYBE, he thinks the same.i feel resentment sometimes when i look at him then do my martyr bit....whereas i should be counting my blessings,iykwim.
think we all feel the same stuff you are going throu atm, you have been throu the mill lately,
hope you are on the mend soon.
love ilgd xx

Horasio

shazrobo wrote: »

not having a good day today, son was brought home from school by two police officers, not making excuses for his violent behaviour, but have done everything i possibly can to help him. now if anything happens again they will permanently exclude him, god only knows what'll happen then.
feel like cutting again, so far am resisting the urge but its so hard, problems with ex not helping either
shaz xxx

I am sorry to hear about your situation - have you spoken to a doctor about your son's AHDD?

I can relate to reacting to being bullied for being unwell. I took it when I was at school, then became very aggressive to counteract the passive old self when I left school when I reinvented myself and vowed never to feel that way again.

Why isn't the school stopping your son being bullied?, no wonder he is reacting if he feels unsupported by them. I don't rate schools very much as they don't deal with bullying effectively enough for my liking. My experience reminded me of being in a day prison, you feel weak if you feel you have to tell someone and weak if you feel intimidated by people who are against you. It could be why I am nervous about working in an office where you are a sitting target for a bully.

shazrobo

son was excluded from mainstream after just four days there and has been in a special school, since with just six kids to a class, and plenty of support ever since, was really settling down, til one particular lad started in same class about a year ago, and gradually its got worse.
thing is all the teachers have a bit of a soft spot for him, as he is so polite and pleasent, and willing to learn most of the time.
wish he could just ignore this other lad, but he is a sensitive lad who takes everything personally.
he really loves the school, and the staff, who he gets on well with most of the time.
but the staff dont have eyes in the back of their heads. son ignores as much as he can then when he explodes its a major outburst. today for example they had been gardening and josh picked up a spade and threw it at other lad, luckily it missed, otherwise serious injury could have occured.
the school police constable is going to be doing some more one to one work with josh, hopefully to improve his confidence, and help him find other ways of dealing with it
shaz xxx

shazrobo

sorry to hear that your having probs with OH ccstar, must be hard for you especially after all the stresses of moving. my ex was same always in my face when i wanted to relax, and never there when needed, guess thats just men.
son been to see gp, peadiatrician, and pyschiatrist, and is already on strong medication, and pyschiatrist is not willing to increase dose again just yet, as side effect of his meds is weight gain, for a teenager he does really well with his diet, with my help :A but he is still on the heavy side for his age, then again he is also very tall like me
big hugs
shaz xxx

ilovegreatdanes

shaz...sounds like hes really trying to cope and doing his best.you just want to be there with them cos of the injustice, i bet.at least they know what he is really like and that he wants to learn.
shame they cant put the new lad in a diff class for a while and then they would see.sounds like you have an ally in the copper:)

Horasio

ilovegreatdanes wrote: »

cc....sorry you are feeling bad lately.i am expert at treading on eggshells after 25 years with mine....and still feel like a stranger, even now.men will always be a mystery wrapped in an enigma to me...and much prefer my own company alot.
have been ill myself recently and maybe im a bad patient or maybe ,noone else can be ill but dh.
maybe the marriage is alot to do with my depression...as in, a wasted life and regrets....he tok the best years of my life type thing, maYBE, he thinks the same.i feel resentment sometimes when i look at him then do my martyr bit....whereas i should be counting my blessings,iykwim.
think we all feel the same stuff you are going throu atm, you have been throu the mill lately,
hope you are on the mend soon.
love ilgd xx

I do wonder how much our depression is caused by our OHs?

What I want from my OH is space to relax when I am tired or ill and connection when I feel well. He seems to do the opposite to what I need and used to row about this a lot in our early days.:mad:

How do I get it thro to him I do care about him but need space to get over the cold/tiredness and not feel worried about offending him? How do I cope with the anger I get when he disconnects when I feel OK.

shazrobo

i'm wandering same, i used to get depressed before, but i put that down to a violent ex husband, left him when kids were just 3 months and stayed single for 9 years,and coped fairly well.
the last relationship i was in made my depression so much worse dealing with him as well as the children's difficulties,
think i'll stay single for a long while now, and see how things go.
just need to make some friends as i feel so isolated and alone at the mo
hugs
shaz xxx

ilovegreatdanes

suppose we have to tell them at the time ...but find the best way of phrasing it,iykwim.men think we nag when we talk,but woman tend to use more words than necessary to say stuff.men get to point in a few words where we take loads to express stuff so men think we are nagging.
not many men will sit down and have long heart felt conversations cos they like to get to the point asap where we like to build up to it.
men like to feel needed, must be the caveman thing.they arent thinkers, they are doers.
i think most women prefer to be alone when they are ill ,whereas men like to be nursed so they think thats what we like as well.
he prob thinks that you dont need help when you are ok so he goes off to get on with stuff.best to just say how you feel and what you would like him to do but phase it like hes doing you a big favour if he listens to you.not condescending, iykwim...but he will feel good that you explained and you will feel good cos you got it off your chest.

so why dont i practise what i preach?????????
cos women are from venus and men are from mars...and if you get chance to read it, i reccommend it, cos theres alot of truth in it...and you start to have lightbulb moments as you get into it.

Horasio

All this explaining, especially the same old stuff is really tiring and tedious. I'd rather we could just move forward together and get on with life.

Obviously I care about his needs and try to accommodate them too but feel in 27 years he hasn't got to know me.

TangledMemories_2

Thanks for all your support guys.
It's just taken me 2 hours to get out of bed and get into the shower. Have NO energy whatsoever at the moment.
I want to be around people - but then I can't be bothered with them. How nasty is that?
OH has had a bad reaction to his weekly injections so he isn't feeling too well today, but still went to work so I'm on standby to go and bring him home at some point.

Can't help but feel "abandoned" (for want of a better word) at the moment. Parents came over last weekend to empty their belongings out of the old family home. I realised that I don't really know my dad anymore - and don't really want to know him with his attitude. My mum's stuck in the age old routine of doing EVERYTHING and getting no help. And my twin little brothers are stuck in the middle. When it came to them leaving for the ferry, one of the twins wrapped his arms round me and started crying - broke my heart.
How do I make them see how I feel without upsetting them all?