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Depression Support Thread

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  • Maverick33
    Maverick33 Posts: 249 Forumite
    It's not particularly been bad, just hasn't been good either. Just feel so low and lethargic. I just want to be normal. :( I hate having these massive highs and massive lows. I hate this stupid BPD. If it had a physical form, I would kick it right where it hurts right about now. =/

    That's great that you managed to go to the shop. :) I didn't go out in the end. I didn't have the energy.lol.

    xx

    Really sorry to hear that, must be really frustrating at these kinda times.. Do you have many coping methods to help when it is bad ??

    I didn't really have the energy as i've been up all night, but needed a couple of things so braved the world - well for 15 mins anyway, came home and went to bed an hour later as i was shattered and even managed a few hours sleep as well..
    What came first, the music or the misery? Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?
  • geminilady
    geminilady Posts: 1,922 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    Maverick33 wrote: »
    Hi Gemini - hope you are well this evening..

    Yes i am fine tonight thanks,well done for managing to go to the shop:T I know it is an achievement when you have social phobia.
  • Maverick33
    Maverick33 Posts: 249 Forumite
    geminilady wrote: »
    Yes i am fine tonight thanks,well done for managing to go to the shop:T I know it is an achievement when you have social phobia.

    Thanks, wasn't so bad as it was quite early - lol..
    What came first, the music or the misery? Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?
  • LadyMorticia
    LadyMorticia Posts: 19,899 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    geminilady wrote: »
    I can understand that,we all find our own coping strategies,i am the opposite when i am really down i don't want to talk to anyone,not been diagnosed with BPD but think i have some of the symptons,when i am on a high i talk a LOT and tend to buy things but when i am down as i said i am really quiet and cannot descibe how low i get,much prefer the highs.

    I have to talk to people when I'm low, even if I sometimes don't want to because I'm a danger to myself and talking to people keeps me safe. That's what the doctor says anyway.

    I want to be somewhere in between but with BPD everything is black and white. You either love someone will all your heart, or hate them. You either gets so low and are at risk, or you get so high and feel invincible. It wears me down. :(

    xx
    2019 Wins
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    £2019 in 2019
    £10/£2019
  • LadyMorticia
    LadyMorticia Posts: 19,899 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Maverick33 wrote: »
    Really sorry to hear that, must be really frustrating at these kinda times.. Do you have many coping methods to help when it is bad ??

    I didn't really have the energy as i've been up all night, but needed a couple of things so braved the world - well for 15 mins anyway, came home and went to bed an hour later as i was shattered and even managed a few hours sleep as well..

    Very frustrating. I get so mad at myself. :( Nikki keeps reminding me that it is an illness and I'm not always going to be able to control it. I don't think I've ever been able to control it. =/

    The one coping method I do have is a damaging one, which is why I'm on here because I'm trying to stop myself from doing it. I have too many scars, and that is my incentive to try and stop but now I just do it where nobody ever has the chance of seeing. :(

    It's good that you managed some sleep. Wish I could.lol.

    xx
    2019 Wins
    1/25

    £2019 in 2019
    £10/£2019
  • geminilady
    geminilady Posts: 1,922 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    I have to talk to people when I'm low, even if I sometimes don't want to because I'm a danger to myself and talking to people keeps me safe. That's what the doctor says anyway.

    I want to be somewhere in between but with BPD everything is black and white. You either love someone will all your heart, or hate them. You either gets so low and are at risk, or you get so high and feel invincible. It wears me down. :(

    xx
    Have you been better since you were diagnosed?doesn't the medication helped to keep you on an even keel?
  • Maverick33
    Maverick33 Posts: 249 Forumite
    Very frustrating. I get so mad at myself. :( Nikki keeps reminding me that it is an illness and I'm not always going to be able to control it. I don't think I've ever been able to control it. =/

    The one coping method I do have is a damaging one, which is why I'm on here because I'm trying to stop myself from doing it. I have too many scars, and that is my incentive to try and stop but now I just do it where nobody ever has the chance of seeing. :(

    It's good that you managed some sleep. Wish I could.lol.

    xx

    Is Nikki a friend ?? sounds like she helps..
    So coming on here is a coping method in a way then ? which has to be a small positive maybe ?
    What came first, the music or the misery? Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?
  • LadyMorticia
    LadyMorticia Posts: 19,899 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    geminilady wrote: »
    Have you been better since you were diagnosed?doesn't the medication helped to keep you on an even keel?

    No. :( There isn't a specific medicine for BPD. I am on anti-depressants but they don't do anything for me. The only thing they do is make me feel physically ill. I keep taking them in the hope that they might work but BPD isn't a type of depression so I'm really not sure that they will.

    xx
    2019 Wins
    1/25

    £2019 in 2019
    £10/£2019
  • LadyMorticia
    LadyMorticia Posts: 19,899 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Maverick33 wrote: »
    Is Nikki a friend ?? sounds like she helps..
    So coming on here is a coping method in a way then ? which has to be a small positive maybe ?

    Nikki is one of my closest and dearest friends. She is like the mum I never had. She has BPD too. At hunts.mind we're like two peas in a pod.lol. We both share our own little worlds. I'd really be lost without her.

    Yeah, I guess coming here is a coping mechanism. It doesn't always work to fight the urges but it makes me feel slightly better that I have support here and friends who understand and don't judge me.

    xx
    2019 Wins
    1/25

    £2019 in 2019
    £10/£2019
  • Maverick33
    Maverick33 Posts: 249 Forumite
    Nikki is one of my closest and dearest friends. She is like the mum I never had. She has BPD too. At hunts.mind we're like two peas in a pod.lol. We both share our own little worlds. I'd really be lost without her.

    Yeah, I guess coming here is a coping mechanism. It doesn't always work to fight the urges but it makes me feel slightly better that I have support here and friends who understand and don't judge me.

    xx

    Must be really nice to have found someone like that - someone who understands what you are going through and vice versa..
    Anything that helps fight the urges must be good, and it's nice there are people here that can offer advice & support..
    What came first, the music or the misery? Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?
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