'Should I have given him the money?' blog discussion

This is the discussion to link on the back of Martin's “Should I have given him the money?” blog. Please read the blog first, as this discussion follows it.
Click reply to discuss below.


  • GaryDouglas
    GaryDouglas Forumite Posts: 8 Forumite
    I would never give any cash over the door step cause i dont trust anyone, even if they flash an ID.

    Thats probably a reflection of the areas i have lived in though.
  • meester
    meester Posts: 1,879 Forumite
    Not a penny. Ask where he lives and give them a call to verify afterwards.
  • Mum_of_3_3
    Mum_of_3_3 Forumite Posts: 658 Forumite
    You could give the home a call and if it's genuine up the sponsorship if you want & explain the situation about no ID etc.

    If the home said he's not from there at least they are aware of a scam going on with someone using their name.


    PS I would've given him a fiver too, but that probably comes from living in small towns/villages for most of my life & being too trusting :)
  • SarahNeedle1872
    SarahNeedle1872 Forumite Posts: 6,166 Forumite
    I wouldn't have given him anything..... I had someone knock on my door once asking for a donation to charity..... I said I was happy to give a couple of quid (meaning just that) so he asked for my bank details so they could DD it every month...... I explained that I would give a couple of quid as a one off, not as a regular thing (was on matty leave at the time) and he started to get really sh!!ty with me, telling me that I was a bad person for not giving to a deserving charity etc etc etc. I told him that I give as and when I can and that I donate all my unwanted things to the charity shops and he still wouldn't let it be..... In the end I told him that if he didn't sling it, I'd wake up my 6' 7" OH and he could continue the conversation with him... Strangely enough he didn't hang around for long!
    'We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars' - Oscar Wilde
    MARTINS_DOLL Forumite Posts: 11,141 Forumite
    Many years ago I had two young lads turn up at my door. They had a Barn Owl with them. They said they were trying to raise money for a breeding project. At that time I owned a Barn Owl myself, so I invited them in, and brought my Owl in to let them see him. After a little chat about their project, I gave them £5.00 towards it.
    The next week his Mews were broken into (It was padlocked securely) and he was stolen. I'd had him for five years, and had never had anyone try to steal him, so I knew it was the two lads who did it. This absolutely broke my heart, as I'd reared him from a young bird, and he had to have his food cut into pieces as he couldn't swallow large bits of food. I also had to hand feed him, as he never did learn how to feed himself. I don't know wether he survived after he gone, as the lads didn't know about the hand feeding etc.

    My moral of the story is... I would never trust anyone asking for money at the door again.
    ................................... MSE MARTIN LEWIS ... :A ... THANK YOU.......................
  • Jennifer_Jane
    Jennifer_Jane Forumite Posts: 3,237
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Am afraid I never open my door - just shout through the glass at people!
  • Smiley_Mum
    Smiley_Mum Forumite Posts: 3,836
    I've been Money Tipped!
    I'm not sure what I would have done either. If he did seem to have learning difficulties himself, then I may have been swayed to give him something, but it may have been put on. I don't like to be suspicious but just due to been led up the garden path in the past. I find it quite difficult, I'm usually a bit soft and have seen myself in the past lend money and never seen it back. On one occasion, speaking to a homeless chap who I often passed in town. It was Christmas and he said he was sleeping rough so as I have been homeless myself I gave him £20 to get a bed for the night and something to eat. I have since heard a lot of stories about him as I do voluntary work and have my doubts that he was homeless at all.
    “Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.” - Oscar Wilde
  • ATT_2
    ATT_2 Forumite Posts: 42 Forumite
    I would have written my first name and a contact number on the sponsor sheet with a note saying 'Head master ring me so I know school's name and address to post cheque to'.

    You get to give, the kid gets to have collected and the school gets the money (a con artist wouldn't ring to give you a schools name and address so your money isn't going to line some toerag's pocket) everyone wins.
  • mld25
    mld25 Forumite Posts: 3 Newbie
    Sounds like he was genuine, so why not give him some money? And, for £5, does it really matter if he wasn't genuine?

    I'd consider it more carefully if I were giving a bigger sum, but if it's a small amount of money, which I could afford to lose, why be mean about it, and potentialy deprive a good cause?
  • jamtart6
    jamtart6 Forumite Posts: 8,302 Forumite
    We have had 3 charities with ID cards turning up door-to-door after 8pm this month asking for bank details for a monthly sponsorship. Being cautious, we haven't donated to them at the door (but eased our consience by donating in a different way directly to the charity). Upon further investigation, it does appear that they were genuine fundraiser from well known charities, but in this day and age, I can't imagine they would get many people giving their bank details to anyone, evenwith an ID card these days (which I emailed the charities concerned, outlining my thoughts on the matter then dontating directly!)

    As for this, very difficult to say, but I think you did the right thing. I probably would have rang the school/home whilst he was there to see if it were genuine too.

    :ABeing Thrifty Gifty again this year:A

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