humiliated by boss

ohreally

dag wrote:

The policy itself says, and I quote, "Where an employee has a grievance arising from employment, the matter in question should first be raised informally within fourteen calendar days of the grievance first occurring with their line manager or immediate supervisor."

I have reservations about this. I have over 20 years experience of NHS policy and procedure and i have never known a trust to have a grievence procedure which states this. Given that timescales to collate evidence can easily be much greater than 14 days this would prevent natural justice being seen to be done.

dag_2

Given that timescales to collate evidence can easily be much greater than 14 days this would prevent natural justice being seen to be done.

I agree. It tries to make the point that it's about getting grievances settled quickly. I also appreciate that it's no good entertaining grievances that happened several years ago. But there doesn't seem to be anything saying you can't invoke the procedure twice, for the same thing happening twice on different days.

It's possible, however, that I'm reading an out-of-date policy document. It's also possible that they have a separate procedure for bullying and harrassment, which I haven't found yet.

Thanks for the post, will post to say what happens today later.

Nile

The advice about recording events in a diary will be very helpful. I had a similar experience and recorded each bullying event in a diary with red pen, so that it was easy to spot them all.

When my line manager's boss (Big Boss) called me in to see him, after the bully had given him chapter and verse on how badly I was performing........I was able to give him an accurate account of each bullying event......thanks to my diary and red pen entries.
The Big Boss was visibly shocked:eek: and realised that a meeting with the big guns of Human Resources was required.

Little old insignificant me was filled (almost shaking) with trepidation as I entered my own 'High Noon' meeting. I was surrounded by senior managers and felt very worried that the managers would close ranks.

If I can give you one piece of advice that hasn't been mentioned so far, it is to prepare for your 'High Noon' meeting. If you get this far (I hope you don't resign first), be prepared for your bully to try to undermine you in the meeting by constantly interrupting you.......this happened to me. When/if this happens, stop talking and pause for a moment then begin from where you left off. Don't let the bully upset your flow, if you see what I mean.

Another bullying tactic that might occur, the bully may try to sit directly opposite you so they can fix you with a menacing stare.......this happened to me. Simply move your chair slightly so that it is angled towards another person.......then you avoid looking at the bully's face altogether.;)

Fortunately for me, my line manager showed himself up to be the first class prat he is........and HR clamped down on him big style. I hope that your situation improves too.

I wish you the best of luck.

chugalug

I'd completely forgotten about my 'big gun' meeting. Very intimidating. What I would say OP is don't go in alone. Take someone in with you for moral support - perhaps a union rep. I didn't do this and was completely blown out of the water!!!!

katiepops_2

I work for a large NHS Trust in the Midlands, and we definitely have an anti-bullying policy - but here it is called the 'Dignity at Work' policy. I don't know how it works elsewhere, obviously, but we have a folder on the e-mail server that contains all the policies relevant to the staff, like health and safety, sickness, etc etc etc, and the dignity at work policy is in there.

I was rather under the impression that because of things like Investor in People that a lot of Trusts went through a couple of years ago, that these sorts of policies were required to be in place and that staff should have easy access to them. If it would be helpful, I can e-mail you a copy of what we have here.

I've had run-ins with management myself, so I do sympathise. I do hope you manage to get it sorted out with the minimum of stress to yourself.

Kate

loopy_lass

what about carrying a dictaphone with you?
just a thought

loops x

reelcrazy

I have seen it mentioned on here but I would get help from a local union rep (if you do not have local reps, try regional or national office).

If you are not a member, I would join ASAP!

The grievance procedure mentioned here looks terribly weighted and I would guess that it may not be legal!

I am an experienced rep with the PCS union and will be glad to help (generically) if I can.

KathleenC_2

It is very difficult, but if you are being bullied, you cannot afford to let them get away with it, not only for yourself, but for those who come after you.
My daughter worked for one of the national supermarket chains. She was treated appallingly. She was not singled out for this, most employees are picked on at some stage of their employment at this particular store.
She was six months pregnant and just a couple of weeks from maternity leave when things came to a head. Her Line Manager ordered her to continue with her job as cashier (pregnant women are put on other duties, usually). She pointed out she could not sit behind the cash desk because of her bump and was told to stand then. Despite complaints from herself, other staff, customers, she was made to stand for five hours, until she collapsed. She complained. Instead of apologising and calling the LM to account, the store manager threatened her. Enter me. I asked him to look into the matter and was verbally abused (and I am technically just a customer!) I complained to Area Office. He sent me a solicitor's letter, threatening me with libel action if I did not withdraw my complaint and pay his costs and compensation. If he thought I was as easily intimidated as my pregnant daughter, he was sadly mistaken. I dared him to go further. I also dared his employers to go further, with national newspapers to be informed. They transferred him and apologised on his behalf. I later learned he had succesfully used this tactic on others (customers as well as staff) who had dared to complain about him. He is still a manager with the supermarket. My daughter will never work for them again. Other employees hate the place and the atmosphere in store is obvious to customers. This chain has recently placed several profit warnings. If all stores are the same as our local one, I am not surprised.

Melusine

I agree with the last message, you must stand up to bullies. If you don't, they win, and it isn't just you that suffers.
You have to stand up, so that your life becomes better, and so that justice is done. But also so that someone else will not go through the same thing. They may not be as strong as you. You may get down about it, you may think about changing jobs. A more vulnerable person may kill themselves over it.
Is there someone at work you can turn to and have a good old fashioned chin wag about it with? (Out of hours, naturally, don't give them ammo.) If you're feeling vulnerable, is there someone who will stand up for you? Take your part?
A piece of advice is needed here. My younger son works at a supermarket with a bullying management (probably the same one as KathleenC's daughter.) They asked him to do jobs that were not only innapropriate but dangerous and illegal. When he refused, they threatened him with disciplinary and even the sack. Good for him, he stood his ground, and they backed down. Since then, they've been unpleasant, in little ways, such as making him work on Sundays (he is a Christian and started with the firm on the understanding he would not work Sundays.) He reminds them of the agreement, they ignore him. They also make him work every bank holiday, whilst others in his department are not asked to work at all. He is singled out for the worst jobs, etc. All things that are difficult to prove as being deliberate bullying. He thought it would be a good idea to join the union and asked who the rep was. He was told the branch did not have one. He asked how he joined the union, and was told no-one in store knew. Management refuse to tell him. How and where does he go to find out?

dag_2

Thanks again everyone. :grouphug:

I'm pleased to report that there were no incidents today either. So that's two days in a row now. However, I'm still not satisfied that it's never going to happen again - so I'll carry on preparing for it.

Thanks for the advice from Nile about the diary and red pen. I only have one recent incident - however, I can also provide some detail about my attempt to resolve the problem back in May, when I sent an email to the boss suggesting we meet to discuss our communication issues, which she responded to in a highly unprofessional way.

I'll definitely take a union rep to a "high noon" meeting. It would be nice to ask my colleagues, but I appreciate that it's difficult for them to be drawn between me and the boss - so it's better to take a union rep, in my opinion.

katiepops says:

I work for a large NHS Trust in the Midlands, and we definitely have an anti-bullying policy - but here it is called the 'Dignity at Work' policy. I don't know how it works elsewhere, obviously, but we have a folder on the e-mail server that contains all the policies relevant to the staff, like health and safety, sickness, etc etc etc, and the dignity at work policy is in there.

My trust has something similar - it's got a web site on the intranet with many of the trust-wide policies. Among the HR policies, there's a disciplinary policy, a capability policy, a sickness absence policy, an appeals policy and a grievance policy, plus others. But there doesn't appear to be a dignity, harrassment or bullying policy. Maybe they haven't published it there - because occupational health seem to be sure that an anti-bullying policy exists.

loopylass says

what about carrying a dictaphone with you?
just a thought

I thought of that! Is that allowed? What if I accidentally tape some confidential discussions about patients by accident? Maybe I'm just being paranoid there - but it won't be a problem if I only use it for my own purposes. But I don't want to keep swapping tapes all the time, I'd want a digital machine that can record an entire day's sound in one go, and allow me to save sections of it to my computer, preferably through the USB port, and preferably without having to download the whole day's uncompressed audio file too. I'll look into it.

Thanks for Kathleen's comment. What happened to your daughter was awful. The fact that they transferred him and apologised on his behalf makes me think that even the head office HR were scared of this bloke.

Melusine says:

But also so that someone else will not go through the same thing. They may not be as strong as you. You may get down about it, you may think about changing jobs. A more vulnerable person may kill themselves over it.

That's so true. Don't get me wrong - I think I have experienced worse bullying in the past than what I'm getting now - but when it's been from friends, I've been able to dump them. When it's been at work, I've just quit. Up until now, I've only had low-paid McJobs that I figured weren't worth fighting for. But this time, I must stand up for myself. I have career ambitions - but if I allow bullying to happen, then my dreams are dead in the water. If I lose my job, there are other things I can do with my time.

Is there someone at work you can turn to and have a good old fashioned chin wag about it with? (Out of hours, naturally, don't give them ammo.)

I wish there was - but being fairly new, and since people tend not to have lunch together in my department, it's damn hard to bond with anyone. So I've cast my net wider, and have started having lunch with people from other departments. I still don't know anyone well enough - so my best bet right now is a union rep. Besides, I don't want to be considered a gossip. Union reps know how to be discrete.

When he refused, they threatened him with disciplinary and even the sack.

Fortunately that hasn't happened to me yet ...

He asked how he joined the union, and was told no-one in store knew. Management refuse to tell him. How and where does he go to find out?

Aha. Maybe the store does not recognise a union - but it's possible to change that if you can get enough workers interested. Even if you can't get them to recognise a union - it's still worth joining one. Usdaw probably have branches that are based at other nearby or larger stores. http://www.usdaw.org.uk/

Thanks again. I now have an appointment to see an adviser from occy health about it. I don't want to go in all guns blazing - after all, it's quite possible my boss doesn't even realise she's done anything to cause offence. The situation is not irrepairable - but I can't do it on my own. If the bullying never happens again - great, I've met my objectives, and don't need to invoke the grievance procedure - but I want to be prepared for the possibility that it will.

I plan to write down a list of points I want to make, to take along to the adviser.