I'm so scared

annieg3_2

I am a sixty two year old pensioner and I am in a mess and scared to death. Seven years ago my soul mate and partner was killed in an horrific accident at work. We werent married but his brother allowed me to sell his late mother's home (where we were living) and use the money from it and using the small amount of compensation I got I was able to by my home. I own one fifth of the house and when I die my partner's daughter will get four fifths and my kids my one fifth. All very fair. A couple of years after his death I began to behave oddly. I thought I was having some sort of nervous breakdown. I didnt know what I was doing half the time. The worst part was I was spending on credit cards. Something my late partner would have hated. Maybe it was a rebellion against his death, I dont know but I really didnt know what I was doing. I was eventually diagnosed with having Graves Disease which is hormonal based (Thyroid trouble) and can make people behave out of character. It took me three years to start feeling better and calmer but the damage had been done then. I have run up £17,000 in debt on credit cards. I have been keeping the payments up by selling things from in the house, I even had my dog have puppies to try to sort it out. My son has been giving me money every month to help as he borrowed from me years ago. The debts are spread over around 10 credit cards and I try to switch the balances around to save on interest. I am now getting to the stage that I have nothing left to sell and my son cant help anymore. I will soon start missing payments. I am £1500 overdrawn with my bank but have not ever gone over the limit and dont want them to know about my problems as I dont know how I would pay standing orders for bills if they found out. Is there anything I can do. I am terrified I will lose the house, even though the money which would come to me would be very small and I wouldnt be able to buy another one..


My total income including my Disability Living Allowance is £ 656 per month and my outgoings are £ 320 per month. That figure does not include food, clothing or anything to do with social life (which I dont have) Please note I havent had a holiday in seven years as I have been just concentrating on paying back this debt. I dont want you to think I am just carrying on in a “normal” way. I dont do anything.


Please dont shout at me. I know I am in the wrong but didnt know what I was doing at the time. The amounts have increased through interest and just paying the minimum each month. I dont know who to turn to for help. I listen to Martin Lewis on the radio and he always seems so possitive. I wondered if anybody can help me.
flora

adouglasmhor

First thing, get yourself down to the Citizens Advice and let them look through your figures, and don't let it get you so down. you have taken the 1st step and there are ways you will get round it.

pania

hi flora welcome, and firstly no one is going to shout at you. you have had a rotten time of it by the sounds and depression makes us do these things, don't look back to why it happened look forward to how it will be cleared.
What we really need to know is who the debts are with, balances, interest rates and available credit limits. also try if you can to give us a breakdown of your outgoings. are you getting all the benefits that you are entitled to? take a look at www.entitledto.com.

but for now have a big hug, you're in safe hands. xx

immoral_angeluk

Noones going to shout at you hun. We've all been there in one form or another. I definately agree with adouglasmhor about getting down the the CAB and getting some professional advice.

phoenixchick

Dear Flora, I can't offer any advice other than that which others have already given, but I just wanted to give you my support and wish you the best.

Karmacat

Nobody's going to shout at you on here, don't worry - everybody is on here because we've all got debt, we're all in the same boat. Even the people who've paid off lots, they all started where you are now in relation to the debt.

First things first: your health. I'm so sorry you lost your partner, it sounds like you went through a devastating time.

Adouglasmhor has it right in one sense, going to the CAB is a good idea, they have debt advisors who can look through your paperwork in detail. I'd also advise you to do what we call a Statement of Affairs - to list everything that you spend - *including* food and clothes - you must buy clothes sometimes, things wear out after all. There's a post at the top of this board welcoming new people in, and the link on how to lay out a Statement of Affairs is on that post.

I'm glad you heard Martin - he's great, isn't he!!! Take your time to use this forum as well as the articles on the main site - the Moneysaving Old Style board, for instance, is about living more cheaply. There's a freebies board, and one called Up Your Income too - they're both self explanatory, with communities of people on them that overlap, you'll soon recognise some names on here.

You're getting DLA - have you talked to your doctor about the emotional effects of how you've suffered? Is there a self help/survivors group near you? Cruse, for instance?

Just trying to think of what else might help..... nothing more springs to mind right now, but you've come to the right place, just keep on, keep posting, look around the site and see what other people are doing (I've been on here for ages, and literally last week I was learning about Tesco delivery codes, of all things, how to get Tesco to deliver to your house without charges) and a free bus locally that goes to the big Asda. We learn all the time!

Good luck, and keep posting.

(Land_of)_Maz

Hi there, you will get loads of good advice around here and i promise noone will ever shout at you, or we'll sort them out for ya!

Anything is possible and you will get through this. Stick around and wait for the advice to come flooding in.

Is it worth considering freeing up the equity in your home? I assume you might be re-housed quickly by local authority and on housing benefit if you get DLA? What's the housing situation like where you are? Unless selling the house yeilds nothing to you or not enough to smash your debts, in which case stay put....

Get in touch with creditors explain the situation, re your partner, illness etc and get all credit limits and interests frozen so things cannot get any worse. That way you are working towards clearing balances not just meeting interest payments. It will ruin your credit rating but i'm sure you will not want any more credit once this is done!!

Have you checked out all your re-claims for bank charges, credit card charges and PPI's...? all except bank charges are still doable at this time and might help reduce some balances. Also do the bank charges one now, as every day not claimed is a day lost as you can only go back 6 years.

Also check www.entitledto.co.uk to see if you can get any more help. Maybe your condition specifically lends itself to certain entitlements that you otherwise don't get.

Above all, stay here and become part of the community, it's priceless! and great fun at times!

HHH_2

Dont worry Flora the vast majority of people on here wouldnt dream of shouting. we've all got or had debt problems ourselves and know how easy it can happen. I've found CCCS very helpful, kind and non judgemental.Someone else suggested CAB and I think you would feel so much better if you could talk to someone about your problems. This site is very supportive too so let us know how you get on xx

in_debt_again_but_dealing_with_it

Hi Flora and welcome. Please be assured you're among non-judgemental friends and there is lots of support and excellent advice to be found on here.

The CAB is an excellent place to start, also the CCCS website can give sound advice.

Most of all please try not to get too stressed about it all, my 62 year old auntie got into a dreadful financial mess a couple of years ago and kept it quiet and made herself ill - your health is far more important - your finances can and will be resolved.

Take care.

IDA
x

(Land_of)_Maz

Hi Flora... thought i would post and see how things were looking today for you.

Hope you're alright?

Maz

RAS

Welcome

Please speak to one of the debt charities and get help sorting things out. it can be done. I suspect you are paying more than is necessary back to these companies. If you decided to do a DMP, then your would get a budget that included a small amount for a break.

See here http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/debt-help-plan#help.

Regarding treats and spends, you may also want to have a look here http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/protect/make-money

Join up for freebies, have a look a pay for click and survey sites and join the local group of www.freecycle.org.