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What About This For An Idea To Curb Rash Spending

I can't control my OH and her spending. There is always bloody something, Like this week she had 1 christening, 1 birth and 1 birthday.

So she does the shopping, whatever she spends I put towards her rent, however this week she didn't have any money beacuse of these presents so no shopping and she couldn't afford to pat any rent either so I paid that as rent is the most important thing meaning we have no food in the house. Last night I had a tin of peas for dinner:confused: Its the first time I have ever been able to say I'm broke. I had to do something as I could not cotrol her spending, I'm trying my best she doesn't give a !!!!, hopefully this will give her something to think about. She can buy we tommy a book or toys or whatever but just remember its coming out of feeding your own
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Comments

  • Sola
    Sola Posts: 1,681 Forumite
    If she doesn't live with you, I'd stop paying her rent. Overspenders like this need to learn the results of their spending, and she won't do that while you bail her out - she has no incentive to if she knows you'll pick up the tab.
  • dopester
    dopester Posts: 4,890 Forumite
    Last night I had a tin of peas for dinner:confused: Its the first time I have ever been able to say I'm broke.

    Ouch. That is rough. You've really got to get this sorted out. Get some system in order. It sounds like you're indulging her and she doesn't feel any real requirement to contribute to household finances. It may be time to draw up some proper rules - unless you like your Green Giant tins.
  • FunBrum
    FunBrum Posts: 716 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    I agree with dopester. You really need to sit down and try to make her understand that this sort of thing cannot continue, and draw up some kind of plan. Maybe show her the threads on here to help inspire her. The Old Style board is great for helping with managing on a budget...no end of advice there.

    Good luck and let us know how you get on
    Living a frugal retirement without treading on the planet :T
    Womble #17- £2,018.41 €2
    TURTLES NSD's 01/31
    FLC £3000/£2,328.12
    CCCC2016 #10 £19 monthly spends on clothes
    Wombled nectar points=728 Wombled Boots points=316
  • System
    System Posts: 178,369 Community Admin
    10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Thanks for your help, I think her eating a tin of beans last night put a bit of light on the subject,
    This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
  • immoral_angeluk
    immoral_angeluk Posts: 24,506 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    If you don't live together stop paying her rent. Cut any financial ties with her and don't give her any money. She'll soon realise that it can't carry on.
    Total 'Failed Business' Debt £29,043
    Que sera, sera. <3
  • rayday2
    rayday2 Posts: 3,960 Forumite
    They do live together if I remember from another post they have children together.
  • System
    System Posts: 178,369 Community Admin
    10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Yep we do live together
    This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
  • immoral_angeluk
    immoral_angeluk Posts: 24,506 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    In that case could you take control of the money and give her a set budget for her personal spends? That's what we do in our house (With me controlling the money) and it works well.
    Total 'Failed Business' Debt £29,043
    Que sera, sera. <3
  • suexxx
    suexxx Posts: 45 Forumite
    Well done you !
    Its time to get tough,i did a similar thing with my eldest daughter,she spent my housekeeping(which i need)on going clubbing,now she aready had her own money but had spent this on shopping spree,s and even more going out !
    So every night for a week i made her have beans on toast/speggetti on toast or egg on toast etc,i also stopped her from using phone and internet.I know it sounds harsh but she know's how much i struggle,it hurt me the way she was so selfish.I ve told her in future you pay yr way b4 anything else then i could'nt care less with what she did with the rest of her money.God help her when she finally gets a place of her own !
    Sometimes you've got to be cruel to be kind !

    Cheek of it,She just walked in as i was typing this and asked to borrow some money......errrrrrrrr I DON'T THINK SO !
  • System
    System Posts: 178,369 Community Admin
    10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    In that case could you take control of the money and give her a set budget for her personal spends? That's what we do in our house (With me controlling the money) and it works well.
    Thats what I am doing, and what she over spends I take it out of the food budget
    This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
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