Am i horrible

destiny_star2006

Me and my partner want to get marries but i dont want any of my family to be there:eek: my partners family are lovely and great etc but if youve ever seen shameless then thats my family any parties etc always end up in fights my family hate his family etc etc its not that i dont love my family i just dont want to spoil my wedding day"
I found out i was pregnant at 1 week pregnant and his family etc were over the moon but his mum said wouldnt it be nice if you had a wedding before the baby was born !! shes quite old fashioned } she was going to organise and pay for everything whatever we wanted and we were so gratefull as soon as i mentioned to my dad and family they went ballistic saying who the hell do the family think they are and if we had the wedding they wouldnt come although i know my dad would!
I tried to explain that his parents diddnt mean anything by it they were just offering us something that me and him have wanted for so long but they wont have any of it!
Then i have a lovely antie who really should come to the wedding but she hates me dad so i wouldnt be able to settle with them 2 being in the same room so i wont invite her either my cousins hate my partners sisters and will probably glass them or something at the reception:mad: this is no joke!
So i said to hell with it lets go abroad no where fancy and just get married there with his mum and dad and siblings and my dad and his partner !! his partner hates my partners mam} argh so stressing!!!!
As this way my cousins etc wont go as they wouldnt pay to come abroad for a wedding my antie couldnt come as she dont have passport and this way i get to be married without the stresses of whats going to happen sorry for the long rant but i just want your opinions on what you would do and please dont say invite everyone and get married here and tell them if they wont behave there not welcome as this is just something that wouldnt matter to them for example my uncle died a few months ago and all family etc turned up for funeral church was frosty everyone had daggers on hand pmsl then come the reception too much drink one of my cousins was found it toilet avn s*x with someone else and her hubby caught her so returned with baseball bat riots van etc had to come and it was just sooo shamefull hope you get where im coming from thanks for taking your time in reading this waiting happily for replys :T :A

Welshlassie

Its your wedding do what you want and s*d everyone else.

I had the stress of worrying about what my sister was going to do at our wedding, and although she behaved (after having a few people speak to her) it tainted my day slight.

Do what you want and stuff everyone else. If you offend a few people don't worry they'll get over it.

Look after yourself, especially with a baby on the way stress isn't good for you. (congratulations by the way)

onamission_2

oh life is far too short to worry about anyone else. do what will make you and your OH happy!

destiny_star2006

Thanks welsh so excited for baby coming and thats why we just totally droped the wedding convo after my family kikd up a fuss because the stress wasnt good my partner was fuming with my family and actually said !!!!!! dont you think you should just chill out weve tried for this baby for 3 years and she end up loosing the baby with unneccesary stress that you are putting on her not that it made them shut up weve just stopped talking about it to them and only talk about it together and where we are going to do it etc

RebekahR

Must admit i'm an old fashioned sod too at 26 LOL! I would say go for it get married now so that your baby has some security. If your both happy too of course!

We are currently talking about if we got married to do it abroad also. Although not violent my family is like yours. Mine is very disfunctional. My mum hates my partners parents because my partners mum is controlling and tells me what to do - as mil's do! But she is a sweety and is far more of a mother to me than my mum is!

My mum is living with a toy boy which ripped our side of the family down the middle. I would be understanding if he was rich, good looking and a really nice person but he is not. He leaches off the state, in fact they both do - on benefits! he stops her coming to see her own children but he she must go and see his, she is only aloud £10 pocket money a week! You get my drift. So I abandoned him and said I never want to see him again. So there is the dilemma of if we invite her then she won't come because he won't, then the other part of the family won't because of her and you get my drift!!
Too much hastle, its my happy day so sod em.

That said ... we were thinking of doing the reception/do when we came back and invite her any way and basically who ever turns up turns up, and whoever doesn't doesn't!

She won't be able to say she ain't invited.

So follow your heart. Remember it is your day and you only have 1!!!!!

destiny_star2006

im not coming back and doing a reception either cos thats where the trouble will start lmfao i just wanna go away for 2 weeks get marries celebrate out their with kids etc and his family my dad and then come home and return to normal life
wasnt wating to get married to give kid stable relationship etc as already have a daughter it was just a suggestion his family made as they had the money sort of thing!!!
Familys eh if only you could pick em !

shelley_crow

Get married if that's what you want, there shouldn't be any pressure from anyone to do this. Invite who you want and if anyone asks any questions as to why they weren't invited, tell the truth and say that you can't trust them to behaved like civilised adults.

Congratulations on the happy news x

RebekahR

destiny_star2006 wrote: »

im not coming back and doing a reception either cos thats where the trouble will start lmfao i just wanna go away for 2 weeks get marries celebrate out their with kids etc and his family my dad and then come home and return to normal life
wasnt wating to get married to give kid stable relationship etc as already have a daughter it was just a suggestion his family made as they had the money sort of thing!!!
Familys eh if only you could pick em !

Tell me about it! well it sounds to me like your mind is made. So go do it. At least money won't be an issue! Yay!!

Tell your family whne your back and sit them down and explain why they weren't invited. Explain you know what discraseful (sp?) behaviour would happen. Might shock them into rethinking their ways!! (Or write a letter then you won't get things thrown at you whilst in the room with them LOL):rotfl:

Buffy_the_Vampire_Bat

I didn't enjoy my wedding day one little bit...it wasn't the getting married part that made me feel like this (that bit was great ) but it was all the family dramas that went on...people not talking...people getting into arguments...people sniping at each other and so on...

Have the wedding you want...with the people you want

Voyager2002

RebekahR wrote: »

Tell your family whne your back and sit them down and explain why they weren't invited. Explain you know what discraseful (sp?) behaviour would happen. Might shock them into rethinking their ways!! (Or write a letter then you won't get things thrown at you whilst in the room with them LOL):rotfl:

No, don't tell them. If you point out such home truths to them they are sure to react, and that would be more stress and harmful to you and the baby.

You might organise a wedding but no reception, so at least you can always say that you invited your family to the ceremony. (And then you could have a quiet meal with your aunt afterwards.)

RebekahR

Voyager2002 wrote: »

No, don't tell them. If you point out such home truths to them they are sure to react, and that would be more stress and harmful to you and the baby.

You might organise a wedding but no reception, so at least you can always say that you invited your family to the ceremony. (And then you could have a quiet meal with your aunt afterwards.)

Ooops yes sorry forgot the pregnant bit! Yes ignore them then. The meal with Aunt sounds nice.