advise needed - my 9 yr old son has difficulty getting off to sleep

fad1211

He has always had trouble getting off too sleep and every morning, he has difficulty getting up. Can anyone advise what i can or cannot do to help him. Tonight at parents evening, i was told that he is lacking concentration.

He attends after school clubs and his bedtime is around 9pm. However, when i often go up at 11pm he is still awake lying in his bed wide eyed, with same old story, "mummy, i cannot sleep".

Any advise?? Thanks in advance, Freda.

Rupa

I think 9pm is quite late on a daily basis. Also, if I go to bed when the kids do:eek: they settle down quicker. Some of the wakefulness might be that not everyone is in bed and there are Exciting Things Happening Elsewhere.

What about lots of fresh air and activities? If you do these at the weekend, your son might sleep earlier for a night or two, thus be getting up earlier, tired earlier etc...

And finally, is he worried about anything? The mere fact that he is not able to sleep might be a huge worry. Settle down yourself (in bed) with a good book, don't talk to him past a certain time and put out your own light quite early. That might make a difference.

TomsMom

Just wondering what he has to eat and drink during the evening.

Probably best to keep off the sugary things. Maybe a milky drink and if he wants something to eat a Weetabix or something. I did hear that bananas are supposed to be OK for a "late night" snack.

Are there any other issues such as is he a worrier, is he the sort who finds it difficult to switch his mind off (this is a problem for me, takes me at least two hours to get off to sleep as I can't stop going over things in my mind), does he have any problems of any sort at school, does he watch TV till he goes to bed (maybe the type of programme is unsuitable and keep his mind active), could he find something relaxing to do for the last half-hour or so before bedtime - read maybe?

Just a few thoughts.

cheepskate_2

fad1211 wrote: »

his bedtime is around 9pm. However, when i often go up at 11pm he is still awake lying in his bed wide eyed, with same old story, "mummy, i cannot sleep".

.

what time do you actually put him into bed. Is it 9pm? It does take a while to settle , my own son takes about an hour to get to sleep at times.
Is there a wind down routine?
What is he doing for this 2 hours when he is put to bed, is he reading/ watching t.v etc. ?

Another thing, what time is he getting up at weekends/ going to bed , If he is getting up very late in the morning mabye his body clock cant adjust to then having to go to sleep earlier.

JoJoB

A hot bath with a couple of drops of chamomile essential oil just before bedtime can work wonders. I used to do this when I was a nanny and the fumes used to make me nod off as well as the kids.

mrs_moneyspinner

I completely sympathise with you - I have the same with my 9 year old
(who has ADHD) he is usually awake in his room until 10 or 11 and tired out the next morning ... and there is nothing that works.... We have reduced the tv/computer game activities so they go off at 6pm but we often forget to enforce it - Rupa's idea of going to bed when he does, helps but then I nod off and husband wakes me and then as I have had too much sleep I am in the wide awake club at 4am!
Put as much stuff away as possible and only leave out the things you want him to do (book?) then at least he should get into bed... also, in desperation I flick the power switch for the lights off at about 9pm after a 5 min warning so he can't keep putting the lights back on (but you may not have that option unless your power box enables different circuits to be switched off)... good luck I will keep watching this thread as I need help as much you!!!

stefejb

I have the same problem with my dd, 11. She worries about death and can get herself quite worked up. What helped for us was a notebook in which she keeps a diary about her thoughts - she generally falls asleep writing. I find tht she is worse on wednesday/torchwood nights so would agree that the problem ght be over stimulation before bed - good luck

julesangles

i have just started using Bach rescue night. you put 4 drops either in water or on tongue, about 1hr before bed.
i am very strict about night time routine.
supper at 7.30 when they have PJs on, no telly after this time. playing quietly till 8.45. tidy 10mins (this did not go down well at first!) then reading quietly either i read to them or they read themselves. lights out 9.10
i am not saying my child sleeps (he never will sleep well) but the routine helps my sanity not his.
i used to play classical music only.
could you take the telly out of his room. i don't let them have telly after 7.30.
i sound strict don't I, sorry.

fad1211

Thanks for all your replies so far. His routine is more or less as follows. As I said he has after school clubs. He gets in at 6.30pm. He has his supper at 7pm, and then i allow some "chill time" as he calls it. He has an hour to do whatever he wants as it's his time. He often plays his xbox, sometimes cartoon network. After 8pm, the TV's off and its time for homework. 8.30pm he has his ovaltine or hot chocolate, and then ready for bed for 9pm.

He does not have a TV in his room, I dont believe in kids his age having TV's in their rooms.

My other kids often knock off within 1/2 an hour of putting them in bed, its just my 9 yr old having problems.

snipzychick

My ds has always had difficulty settling at night but does get up ok in the morning. He is a bit of worrier though especially when exams are on at school also he has experienced bullying in the past.

He has been this way from a baby, 14 now and not much helps as this is just the way he is. Overstimulation shortly before bed does make it worse though and 8pm for homework would be too late for my son, i try to make sure this is done as soon as poss after school.

Good luck

izoomzoom

I think 9pm is late for a 9yo.

Mine goes to bed at 8pm and is usually asleep within 30 mins (with a book on his chest).

He does two afternoon activities a week, and also guitar lessons (which requires a bit of practice at home) and together with homework, he just doesn't seem to have enough time in the day. His homework seems to have really increased this term (in preparation for Y5 at a middle school) but he is sent to bed at 8pm. If he hasn't finished his homework (which is really a weekly allocaiton so little bit done each day) he can do it in the morning. He has no problem getting up in the morning - some time between 6:30-7:30.

I will only move his bedtime to 8:30 when he is 11 and then 9pm when he officially become a teenager.