bessys keep me on track diary!!!!!!

Mrs_Weasley

Really sorry need to post but too much to say! I think i've just about had enough, seem to spend more time feeling sorry for myself instead of getting on with it. Have been sat for last 2 days reading different threads and i just keep crying, am emotional wreck i think. Me and OH are on dmp with payplan, payments ahve just been increased everything is fine with that, i just find it hard to do everything your supposed to do with money saving. It all gets too much. Then i read some of the posts and there are people who are miles worse off than me, we are both healthy kids are healthy etc, and then i feel guilty for feeling this way! Does that make sense? I seem to have had loads of light bulb moments do ok for week or 2 then it goes off again and i just muddle along. Have spent half of new washer money on bl**dy bingo so still hand washing (washer broke just b4 crimbo!) Know i shouldn't but keep thinking will win it back and you never do ! Feel sick thinking about it.

I know what i have to do have read enough post over the last 2years, its just getting motivated, what do i do, carry on after i've kicked myself up the b*m, or do i start from scratch? Have started calling myself GUNNA every sunday i say to myself GUNNA start afresh on monday, but it never happens. At wits end . Help!!! Sometimes just want to talk to someone in same boat, someone who does not judge!

Sorry if i've rambled, just set my first challenge : go on mse instead of bingo!

Merlot

Bessy, have a hug:grouphug: Don't be so hard on yourself. We all have weak moments and that's what they are. As you said you know what needs doing and you are making positive steps today.

Can you try Freecycle for a washing machine or Free ads, they have some cheap ones. http://uk.freeads.net/


You can come on here and rant all you want, and there are always peeps around to hear you.

Merlot.x.

juno

You need to think more positively. At least you haven't got into more debt by buying a washing machine you can't afford!

Sit down, have a nice cup of coffee, and have a hug

Mrs_Weasley

Thanks for hug merlot, crying again now!
have just joined freecycle, was gunna try for bikes for kids, didn't think of asking for washer will try that
thanks juno really need that, just reread my post!

kel123_2

Hi bess

Bingo isn't your job!?! Most people including myself form routeens and then these routeens become your Job. I bet you play at spacific times and on spacific days. Breaking the habit so to speak is the hard part. find something else to do at these times, nomal reply is BUT WHAT? sit down with someone and work it through with them, do yourself a time table if need be. Work at what is more important, life with the family or ?????? Me and she who shall remain nameless are happier when we are together this even includes when I cheat at scrable and she finds out, lol by jiggers fur flies. Also drop the nick name look at what you've achieved over the years, if it's 2 good well balanced kids then thats your start point. On the other hand if they are delinquent no hopers don't start there.

Kel

Mrs_Weasley

Thanks kel, you are right about routine same time same 2 days every week. Have got loads i could be doing, decorating, when i can afford paint, garden a mess so can do that! see loads to do just need motovation!

Just got back from docs had blood tests to see if i'm full blown menopausal yet (only 41:o ) if so might explain tears, depression etc!? been peri menopausal for 3/4yrs or so now don't think it helps. HRT here i come!!!

pennypuppy

ask for a washing macine on freecycle, put the remaining money for it on any debts

boredofbeingathome

It is overwhelming at times, everyone here knows how you feel. I find motivation easier in small steps. I'm a great one for making lists and crossing off. So don't think aaaaargh, i have all this to do, think right today i will do such and such a thing for 20 mins and so on. Before you know it you're on a roll.
There is also that little negative voice we have inside ourselves, ready to attack when our defences are at their lowest. Try turning it around a bit, instead of saying I'm gunna do this on monday, start by saying, Today i have, made a lovely meal (sunday), Today i washed 30 items of clothes by hand-aren't i clever? Today my dd or ds gave me the best smile in the world...and so on. It may sound a bit wishy washy to some folk(hand washing joke there) but we do have a lot to be thankful for at times. When you look back on the day and think how much you have achieved, how you have found a way round a problem etc well pat yourself on the back for it. Look at other little things you can do moneywise, as an experienced parent/ homemaker what about some of those wonderful home made goodies- on old style board? How about volunteering in school or even getting a small job in school? Have a go at making bread and if it doesnt turn out right-feed it tto the ducks, have a winter picnic with the kids (one of my all time favs when my kids were younger)
Hope the test results help you feel slightly better in yourself, its horrible waiting but will ease your mind. Hugs for nowxxx

kel123_2

HRT

developed by a man used by a woman for the sanity of said man

that should get you females typing :]

miggy

Hiya Bessy, just wanted to send you some hugs :grouphug: and say well done because you have not only acheived your first challenge (which was a good 'un, this is great place to come), but you have had a good afternoon's work, especially joining Freecycle.
I don't know whether your local one likes you to offer something before requesting (ours does) but just to be aware that may be the case. Even if it is, that's easy to solve - for instance I found someone wanted the plastic coat hangers that were too small for our things! It's a great system and things like washing machines often seem to feature. It also helped me tidy my garden because some plants were taking over - so I have passed some on to someone else and hey presto - two gardens benefitted!
Anyway, I hope you get the washing machine sorted out quickly.
Reading your post, you sound overwhelmed - it seems to me you are looking at everything and feeling it's too much and you don't know where to start and whatever you do, it won't be enough... am I right? But in fact, however big a hill it seems to be for you to climb, it's always worth doing something, and if you can manage two or three things, well, they start to add up. And don't forget to give yourself a pat on the back when you get something done.
Lists are a great idea - especially when you cross things off them! (If the list gets too long, don't start another one - just get rid of a few items off it one at a time).
I'm a big fan of Flylady.net and one of her wise sayings is to the effect that things didn't get in a mess in one day and you won't fix them in a day either - but it can be done if you keep chipping away at it.
So I am donating you a (virtual) rechargable, warm-and-approving, 'didn't you do well!' pat on the back! Please use as often as you like - they thrive on being used, divided up, passed around... and when divided up, they breed, so it won't wear out and are very handy for chipping away at life's problems

All the best,
Miggy

miggy

I've just read Bob's reply - she's spot on!
And Kel 123... no comment