Advice Please

Littleluc21

I have started walking to work for the full-time job - 30 mins there and 30 mins back so working those thighs! Unfortunately part time job starts at 4am in the morning (airport) so need my car for that desperately. I have snowballed it and luckily with my extra job (approx £250-300 a month) I will be debt free by next January! I always pay my car tax in full - MOT am lucky thats it my dads friends garage and AA is £35 which is fully paid until next year. I am over my barclaycard by £20 but just don't have any spare cash this month. I think moving home for a while is the only option - hopefully my boyfriend will understand .........

Littleluc21

He knows my situation - I have explained I am struggling and as a result I rarely go out with friends etc and seem to spend all my momey on a flat that really isn't mine. We have been together 6 years and when he got the flat I said I didnt want to leave home just yet as had only just finished uni - stupidly I did and now I am up s**t creek and drowning fast. Lifes complicated!

Littleluc21

We have said if I move out its temporary until I am back on my feet. I was willing to pay £200 a month but not all the food shopping (would pay £75) but he said no so I think I have run out of options!!

L xx

Frootov

"I have been living with my boyfriend in his flat for approx 9 months now, its a one bedroom flat that he bought last year. I pay him £200 a month "
This may sound silly/harsh but if you are living with him, why are you paying rent? Do you have a rent book/ Tenancy agreement with your name on it?
If not, you shouldn't be paying rent.
Harsh as it may sound, if not you are giving him £200 ppm tax free.
I,m not having a go at you or judging you, just saying it as I see it.
Hope you get yourself sorted soon.
Frootov

Zazen999

Hi
Is your problem the boyfriend and his attitude or the finance; or both?

If you have put £5k of debt onto your cards, in 9 months - and he is not willing to support you to bring that down; then you need to consider his motives?

Would a break do your finances and your relationship any good? Only you can give the answer but if your parents have given you a chance to sort both out, then you need to seriously need to look at your options.

I hope it goes well, whichever you decide.

chevalier

So you have been together a long time, yet he feels unable to support you once you have moved in? How have you accrued the extra debt? On things that you both have benefitted from? In which case he should be more understanding and help you pay it back. Isn't that what relationships are meant to be about. It can hardly be fun for both of you that you can't go out. Does that mean he is staying in too?

Just seems a weird way to run a relationship. Sounds more like he is running a hotel!
chev

Littleluc21

Haha thats what my mum says - "You pay £200 a month for half a bedroom?? Any buy all the food......" It is his flat - we moved in together when he bought it so I contributed to buying a lot of the interior stuff....dining table, kitchen stuff etc...... The list goes on! He is supportive but I had hoped he would see that me paying so much is having a negative effect on trying to reduce the debt hell hole - apparently not as he in his own words says "he is not a bank". Our relationship is suffering a lot, like we are just friends at the moment and barely spoken in a few weeks. My friends were astonished when I said how much I paid as well - as he earns A LOT more than me - approx £500 more than me after tax a month. Moving out may help both situations and I reckon he might see just how much I helped him out financially with my contributions - just seems s step back after moving in together if you know what I mean.

Jeez I was smiling when I started this thread....want to burst into tears now!

bikerqueen

I'd take the stuff I'd bought with me too...

Littleluc21

I told him I didnt need the things I had bought at the moment - no need for a dining table and 4 chairs in my bedroom at my mums! He has changed a lot in the past few weeks - been very distant with me and been thinking that maybe this is what we need - a break from each other and the stress. I love him to pieces but think I need to be selfish for a while and sort my own mess (finances) out. I work hard and at the moment I am so tired - could do without the stress!

cornerstone13

Try not to get upset Littleluc. But as others have said it sounds a bit too one sided. Big difficult decisions to be made now but they will benefit you in the end - and you know you'll get loads of support from here, whatever you decide to do.

You know in your heart of hearts what you should do.