Nursery schools better than a nanny?

building

my mum keeps on that our daughter should be in a nursery school mixing with others. we have told that we are thinking of taking on a nanny and that she will take our daughter out to children activities etc - though she keeps thinking that nurseries are better for the child. i must say we do go to playgroups etc at the moment.
what are people's thought on this?
thanks in advance

elona

If you are already going to playgroups which lets your child get used to other children then what exactly does your mother think that a nursery will do that is different?

Is she trying to get you to go back to work or trying to avoid babysitting herself?

crankup

How old is your daughter? Once she is old enough for Pre-School grants, then she will get the chance to socialise in a nursery/pre-school anyway.
Nurseries are great for sure, we use them 2 days a week. Not a priority though prior to preschool imo.

Spendless

Shortly after his 2nd birthday my son had out-grown mums and tots groups. He needed something with a bit more structure but back then I couldn't find a playgroup (pre-school) that would accept him till 2.5 and he couldn't be left until he was 3 and potty trained. So I sent him to a private nursery one morning a week.

When my daughter was 2 earlier this year, she didn't need the nursery in the same way my son had, but I was struggling to keep her amused and keep on top of everything at home, so I put her in the same nursery for one session a week.

I felt guilty about it, cos I felt I was doing it for me rather than her (unlike my sons case), but she loves it.

barbie_babe

do both have a part time nanny to take her out around maybe going to nursery .
if shes old enough she can go to a school type one part time and nanny take her out rest of day .or if shes to young maybe pay for her to go private nursery one /two days a week .then work nanny around it.
i was a nanny before having my children and my children (the ones i looked after)as soon as they were old enough went to nursery.

gravitytolls

There's no difference between playgroups and nurseries, except perhaps the hours (depending on private or state nursery), and teh slightly more varied age groups.

Both are subjected to the same visits and checks from Social services and ofsted, and both are expected to meet the same standard requirements of safe, stimulating environments.

If you're happy with what you're doing, don't feel pushed into changes that may not be best for any of you.

Spendless

gravitytolls wrote:

There's no difference between playgroups and nurseries, except perhaps the hours (depending on private or state nursery), and the slightly more varied age groups.

.

There isn't if they're being called by correct name, but some people call mums and tots playgroups. How I think of them is as follows. This is hiow they are where I live, might be different in other parts of country.

mums and tots - birth onwards,various toys (some of one I attend have lots of push-alongs for example) parents/carer have to stop with child

Playgroup/pre-school- from 2 onwards, more structure than a mums and tots (eg might have more painting/puzzles),child can be left there, can be funded from 3, Might only be open for a couple of hours session.

Private nursery-depends on what age they admit from (daughters takes from 2 but others take newborns), child is left there, funding from 3, but have to pay difference if there for more than 2.5 hour session

School nursery -year before reception. Our LEA admits all children Sep following 3rd birthday and they go into reception a year later Sep following 4th birthday. Other LEAs may admit differently to this. Child is left, place is funded.

brummiebabe

Hi there. Just to say that you really have to do what is right for your kids and you!! We've used private nurseries since both sons were 8 months old (due to work committments) and have nothing but praise for them!! Both are confident, friendly kids and the activites they do are brill!!! However, they can get this from playgroups etc. It's a personal choice and I'd try not to let others views (especially well meaning grandparents) get in the way of that. U know ur kids best of all.

Jay-Jay_4

I was totally against nurseries when I had my first (then 14 months now 6yrs old) as I thought they were too impersonal, instead I paid a friend to look after my daughter 3 days a week.

After 3 months my daughter was climbing the walls with boredom and my friend said that she could no longer look after her for personal reasons so I had no choice but to begrudgingly put her into nursery.

My daughter absolutely loved nursery ....toys...friends ....games ....painting.... getting messy....eating dinner around little tables with her little friends....mini sinks...... the whole caboodle.

She learnt excellent social skills, made lots of friends, became independant and generally had lots of fun with a bit of structure thrown in.

Now I have given up work and am a stay at home Mum to my youngest daughter (18 months) and she's beginning to climb the walls. I've decided to pay for her to go to nursery for one day a week, for HER sake. It'll be difficult financially for us but I think she'll thrive there like my eldest did.

Hope that's given you a different perspective.

stardoman

I felt under a lot of pressure to put my middle son, who was 9 months at the time, into nursery. I'd left work to be a sahm and had no intention of doing this, but all the pressure did make me worry that he'd be left behind. Various people told me that he would be clingy and would not want to go to school. Others said that he was missing out socially. And others told me he was missing out educationally.

I took him to lots of different activities - toddlers, dancing babies, swimming, soft play and just generally meeting friends with children the same age. He had much more variety at home with me than he ever could have had at nursery.

When he was 3 he was offered a place at the school nursery for 2 sessions a week. The first session I really worried as so many people told me to expect him to cry / be clingy etc. as he had never been left without me. Instead, he ran in without a backward glance and I was left standing at the door waving to his back! He is the most confident of my two oldest children (the baby is 4 months, so time will tell). My first went to a childminder because I did not want him to be in the same room all day, every day, no matter how brightly painted the room was (I went back to work full time). My childminder was brilliant and took him all over. I wanted him to have real experiences rather than acting things out in a role play corner. Even though he was left from 8 months of age he is still quite clingy at 7, although he is fine about going to school. He also has lots of friends and is very sociable.

One of my friends returned to work when both of her children were 16 weeks, putting them in nursery part time and they are both really clingy and get tearful on a morning when she takes them to school (they are now 7 and 5).

So all in all, I don't think a nursery environment necessarily makes happy, socially confident children and from my experience it is definitely not essential.

HTH. Mandy.

mountainofdebt

Well my son went to a nursery at the age of 5 months (now 12) and stayed there until he was 3 whne we changed nurseries becasue of a house move.

Both were brillant and both when he was old enough they began teaching him letters and nu,bers so it wasn't purely a case of playing with other children. Whilst he was at the 2nd, he was diagnosised with perthes' disease which meant both legs in plaster and I'm sure without the stimulus of other children, he would have found learning to walk in plaster very difficult.