Lending money to friends & family

savvy

Hi moneygoesround, I've moved your post here to keep like subjects together and aid future users.
savvy

Treacle_2-2

I find it reassuring to hear these stories instead of thinking I’m the only soft touch around! A few years ago I lent my boyfriend at the time a good few thousand without any backup apart from it being a bank transfer. I knew at the time it was a very stupid thing to do, but didn’t want to believe someone so ‘close’ would have any intention of pulling a fast one! I was put under a lot of pressure and felt mean not to help him! I have never looked into getting it back, apart from asking him on the occasions he phones me, which usually results in the conversation being upbruptly ended by a dead phoneline!! I’d love to be wrong, but I think fighting for it back will not be worth the stress. He’s a clued up guy with chums in the right places - I think if I push him I’ll never get it back.. It doesn’t even make me mad, I can’t be bitter as it was stupid of me to do!. I’m annoyed with myself for handing it out so easily, but I live believing what comes around goes around. I’d like to say I wouldn’t be caught again, but truth be known it’s difficult to change the type of person you are, I’m a very giving person by nature and I’m sure if another ‘friend’ was in a desperate situation, chances are I’d probably do it again. Some people just never learn!!!

Rjohnmatt

Sorry to post here abdruptly , but I have had a friend phone me today morning asking to lend him cash as part payment for his mortgage deposit.
He seems ok, but having seen some of the horror stories on this board , I would like to have a written agreement before I hand over the cash.
Could someone please advise me about this agreement and the format.

Thanks in advance
John

savvy

Hi Rjohnmatt
I've moved you thread here as this thread has a lot of sound advice that may assist you.
Good luck and be careful
savvy

savvy

Treacle wrote:

I live believing what comes around goes around.

It does Treacle, trust me! Although you sometimes don't get to see it or don't hear about it for ages, but it does catch up with them eventually!

MajorlyPi@@edOff

Hi,

This is a new kind of thing for me so bear with.

I took a friend in for a a 'couple of months' towards the end of last year. He was paying me a ridiculously low amount of 'rent' but I didn't mind for a sort while.

This period extended for nearly twelve months and he basically stopped paying me other than the odd bit here and there with the backlog amounting to the best part of a grand or so.

No contract was ever signed and I guess that's my fault for being dumb. The guy was pretty screwed for cash and was what I considered to be a good mate in need however over the last few months I realised he was basically taking the p!ss.

It came to a head shortly before I went on holiday recently and gave him an ultimatum to pay up which he agreed to. However prior to me going away he avoided me and when I returned he'd left with a note telling me not to hound him for cash and he didn't want to speak to me (nice).

The cash isn't the end of the world to me but I've since found out I'm not the first that he may have done this to and want to teach him a lesson. I'd prefer not to resort to illegal means to do this so would appreciate any thoughts anyone may have as to the best way to achieve this.

Despite his best efforts I have found out where he is now living and have numerous personal details about him if it helps.

GameOver_2

Shame you didnt have a contract signed, as if you could prove he owed you more than 750, you could of made him bankrupt.

SnowyOwl_2

Not much good, but it is probably money well spent to get rid of a user like him. Not much of a friend was he? He'll run out of friends eventually and will have to start paying his own way. Personally I WOULD hound him for the money especially as you know where he lives. Drop by as often as you can, if he's not in leave messages with whoever answers the door. That should let the person he's currently stopping with know what they've let themselves in for.

Oh and change your locks.

mr218

count your lucky stars because your friend appears very dodgy. he could have stolen from you or used your address for illicit activities.

be happy that you got rid of such a lowlife and let this be an experience for you to learn from.

why chase this person when you have no comeback legally. it will just make you annoyed and irritated whenever you think about him and what he has done to you.

atleast he is gone and you have your house to yourself and more peace of mind

madfrenchgirl

I would hound him down literally. Drop by form time to time at his new crashing place and let however who s there know about why your dropping by.

I had a problem with my previous landlady: I moved out bu she never gave me my deposit back, never returned my calls, etc... Was always not willing to come back to the place she was renting (she was even renting her room to another lodger and lived with her partner). After 2 weeks of friendly messages in her voicemail, I started calling the school she was working at. Leaving clear messages about me wanting to meet so i could get my deposit back, was even making the secretary repeat to make sure it would sink in! Well, after a week, i got my deposit back!

It is a mean strategy, maybe, but you are talking about a grand here! Dont just let it go yet! people like him are scum!