Lending money to friends & family

johnwarner75

There is a lesson to be learnt here. Don’t fund friends ventures unless a). its a very good idea, and b). if you do lend money then get a letter of intent and a receipt!

J_Daniels

pennymakespounds wrote: »

not sure if this is right board..

member of our family "lent" couple of £thousand to a "friend" to fund something....
which didn't happen .. and guy has made himself completely uncontactable . Apparantely he's done similar with couple of other people

Whilst probably classed as my own stupid fault for just handing over cash .. last thing we expected was this .. from a supposedly "best friend" .
What legal actions can i take .. or "legal threats" can i make to try and get him to realise i'm seriously wanting my money back.

Hey

I agree with XBigman. You can't really ask him to return the money unless you have formalized the loan agreement legally either through a lawyer or a loan agreement that legally binds both you and the borrower to the terms entered therein. There are a few good services online that help formalize loans between friends and family, most notable being www[dot]loanback[dot]com for their customizable loan agreements (so you can change the agreement according to the type of loan, be it auto, mortgage, new business and so on), plus they've also got a loan payment reminder, which is pretty nifty.

The best advice I've been given with regard to informal loans is to think it through first, structure it well and then legally bind it - saves a lot of trouble afterwards.

Cheers!

somethingcorporate

J_Daniels wrote: »

Hey

I agree with XBigman. You can't really ask him to return the money unless you have formalized the loan agreement legally either through a lawyer or a loan agreement that legally binds both you and the borrower to the terms entered therein. There are a few good services online that help formalize loans between friends and family, most notable being www[dot]loanback[dot]com for their customizable loan agreements (so you can change the agreement according to the type of loan, be it auto, mortgage, new business and so on), plus they've also got a loan payment reminder, which is pretty nifty.

The best advice I've been given with regard to informal loans is to think it through first, structure it well and then legally bind it - saves a lot of trouble afterwards.

Cheers!

This site you spammed is an american one, not really applicable to UK forums. If you intend to sort a loan agreement I suggest you go and see a solicitor.

didiagogo

Hello all,

Guess what. That's right, I've lent out money to a ex girlfriend. We lived together and she was finishing a degree. For reason too long to go into I had to pay rent, council tax, etc. After a certain point, as I was looking to return to full time education, I said and agreed with her that the money would be a loan. We broke up about a year ago and at that stage I gave her a total of money owed as $4000. Earlier this year her parents have paid me half of that but she is still disputing the figure and recently offered to pay back £25 a month. Which I find to be an insult.

She keeps promising different thing and then changing it. I'm looking into taking her to the small claims court just so that then it is out of both of our hands and she can no longer keep moving the goal posts. I have bank statements from the period showing rent payments and council tax payments. I have emails from her agreeing that she does owe me money. What are my chances?

barbiedoll

Mrs_Ryan wrote: »

Just an update to my situation - yes 200 is a lot to me. However it seems now he is making steps to pay back (after my Mum had another go at him) and has asked for my bank details so he can give me some money. Im a reasonable person, I've said if he cant pay me all at once thats ok but I've made it clear that I do want it back.

Don't be surprised if you find that you're suddenly a member of an internet gambling site! :eek::eek:

DCFC79

Why do people do this to they're own flesh and blood, its just out of order, what anooys me is they go round dressed in swanky clothes, driving a nice car yet cant afford or offer to repay the family member the money.

maz1964

barbiedoll wrote: »

Don't be surprised if you find that you're suddenly a member of an internet gambling site! :eek::eek:

crickey could that happen?? wouldnt they also need the debit card to process?

anyway i would open up a credit union savings account and get him to pay into that for you id feel that could be safer he could physicaly take in the money himself into a local collection site and get them to add the money into your pass book that way you also know his making an effort and this way he cant get the money out neither

just an idea laters maz

chubsta

Well, i have read this thread quite a lot over the months as i think it is full of terrible stories and very good advice, so here is my little tale...

It was a friends birthday last week and he loves a good bet so a few of us went to the races, had a great day drinking too much, and despite the fact the other 5 guys are seasoned gamblers no-one actually managed to pick a winner! I don't gamble, i see it as throwing the money away and it is too hard earned to do that, although i joined in for a couple of small races, losing £15 and vowing to never bet again. The others were getting through hundreds!

Everyone is employed and we earn pretty good money so there were no issues.... except one...

One of the guys does have a gambling problem, he knows it, and has done stuff in the past to get past it - he has voluntarily got himself banned from all the bookies in town for a year so can't bet, got rid of his computer so can't do it online, but in the end he goes back to it. And its not just the horses, as soon as we went in the pub he was throwing notes into the fruit machine, when we popped into a bookies after the racing he went straight on the roulette - and he didn't seem to be winning...

I had to go to the cashpoint to get more money out for food and he came over and asked if he could borrow £100 as he had spent all his money and one of his ways of not overspending on the gambling is that his bankcards can't be used on cashpoints, he has to go into the bank to physically get money out (this is true), so i lent him the money. I said i didn't want to because i didn't want to make him worse than he already is but i did lend him the money anyway and he said he would get it back to me as soon as he could. Needless to say it soon disappeared into the roulette machine...

I saw him at work last night and he came over and said he didnt have it on him but would sort it as soon as he could, I just told him to let me have it whenever he could - tbh he seemed pretty relieved with that so i guess he is a bit strapped - we get paid monthly so he has got 3 weeks left to go till payday and i don't want to make things hard for him for the sake of £100 (although i guess i did by lending him the money in the first place...)

I will get the money back - despite his problems he is an honest guy who is caught up in something that i don't think he enjoys but which he cannot control, he is hard working and you couldn't meet a nicer person - but, you know, i don't want it back. It's £100 which thankfully is no issue to me if i don't see it again, but where do i go from here?

He wouldn't accept not paying it back, i think he would be ashamed, but i don't want him to suffer because i didn't have the heart to say no on the day. Everyone who knows him has a go at him about his gambling but despite our and his best efforts he can't stop it so to tell him to get counselling etc is a non-starter, so i guess i will just have to smile when he hands it back and then feel bad afterwards.


I know this post is a little different than most here but i made it i guess to show another side to lending for friends etc - the advice that you should never lend to people unless you don't mind not getting it back still holds true, but what do you do if you don't WANT it back?

mazz1953

Hi chubsta,

If I were you, I would accept the money when he pays it back. If he is as addicted a gambler as you say, he will probably ask to borrow it back again and again.

chalkie99

Unfortunately, nice guy as he may seem, I think he will keep coming back to you for "top-ups".

I have been in a similar situation and once you have helped them once they simply cannot help themselves but to keep asking, with ever more convincing and contrived excuses.

It usually ends with the break up of a friendship and the "Good Samaritan" being accused of being the villain of the peace