Lending money to friends & family

maz1964

jmdnnlln wrote: »

Ok so I've read some of the comments on this topic and I wonder would you advise lending to family?

My son has come to me 'again' and asked me to re-finance a loan he took out some 2 1/2 ago for £6000.

He is now asking for a loan of £5000 which basically would settle ALL his debts into 1 loan.

I can get him the loan easily...but I feel I have no choice in the matter really, you see if he dosen't re-structure his debts that means he probably won't be able to afford his current debt....or in reality MY DEBT!

I also pointed out to him an argument last year when his partner, the mother of our grandchildren, posted a dubious message on facebook...saying because his repayments are x amount we are taking food out of the childrens mouths....
Obviously we protested...and his replies were "I stand by my partner now as she is my family"...True but here we are again "can you help me out dad".............
It's easy to say DONT lend to family or friends .....but sometimes it's hard to refuse your family!

hiya thanks for the thanks ive clicked on your post too as i also agree its diff re family but really please do not end up like me with a ccj and ive had to ask for installments payments via the court via a n245 form which cost another 40.00 of mymoney again,, i went to cab and they really helped me complete the form and what is really affordable, to pay back, i think you need to teach them a lesson and go with them to cab and get them to address this situation for themselves, otherwise they will keep coming back to the bank of mum and dad. they need to learn to budget properly and get out of this mess themselves. the amount ive proposed is what i can basicaly afford now in the meantime its put pressure on my friend to find the money to clear it, thought im angry that ive ended up with the ccj for her debt, i wont ever do this again, hard lesson but yes again i say it with family very diff but reflect on my life experience and hope it helps you make the right decision for you and your family
good luck maz

mummyplus3

I've borrowed money from family but never friends, although its only been £40 here and there and paid back the next week but After being royally screwed over for rent when a friend moved in with me a few years ago, I would never lend or borrow to friends now, but family is different so it would be a tough call! Not that they'll need to borrow money from me any as im !!!! poor

RobertoMoir

jmdnnlln wrote: »

Ok so I've read some of the comments on this topic and I wonder would you advise lending to family?

I realise/think you're posting this to make a point about hard it is to say no, but the fact is, if you ask me if its a good idea to lend to family or friends, I would always say "no".

Of course, sometimes you see a family member or close friend in dire distress and decide that helping someone you care about is more important than doing the "sensible" thing. Entirely understandable... but lending to family and friends is never a good idea.

(I actually wrote this part of my reply before I had even read the second part of your comment, as I feel the justification for lending is irrelevant to whether or not lending is a good idea.)

My son has come to me 'again' and asked me to re-finance a loan he took out some 2 1/2 ago for £6000.

He is now asking for a loan of £5000 which basically would settle ALL his debts into 1 loan.

I can get him the loan easily...but I feel I have no choice in the matter really, you see if he dosen't re-structure his debts that means he probably won't be able to afford his current debt....or in reality MY DEBT!

I also pointed out to him an argument last year when his partner, the mother of our grandchildren, posted a dubious message on facebook...saying because his repayments are x amount we are taking food out of the childrens mouths....
Obviously we protested...and his replies were "I stand by my partner now as she is my family"...True but here we are again "can you help me out dad".............
It's easy to say DONT lend to family or friends .....but sometimes it's hard to refuse your family!

I would suggest two things here:

1. You're not helping him with his debt problem, you're enabling it. While you keep pulling him out he has no incentive to stop jumping in.
2. Their partner's disrespect would concern me, suggesting that issues over finance will cause further disruption to your relationship, and that if they run into difficulties she will be the first to suggest to your son that its ok not to pay you back.

telboyo

I have found it is never a good idea to buy or sell a car to friends or family as they will try to lay the guilt on when it breaks down.

fozmcfc

Never done that telboyo, but can well see that happening. Expecting you to foot the repair bill or some of it.

Sandra023

Xbigman wrote: »

Have you got anything in writing or even a receipt, or maybe witnesses. If not you are unlikely to get your money back if he doesn't want to pay.
Regards



X

Yup you are totally Right !.... if you got no evidence then only the person who has taken money from you can help you by returning your money by himself !

CovTeej

I have been going on holiday with a mate for a few years now and he has always paid up front, this year I found a really good deal so once I got the go ahead from him I booked it with his assurances that he would transfer the money for his share to my account, as he has always been so good with paying his way I believed him.

Since booking the holiday he has found himself a new girlfriend who does not want him to come away with me, or even spend any time at all with me to the point we can only talk whilst he is at work. He has still not paid anything towards the holiday but is insisting that he will and that he still intends to come with me, do I have any legal recourse, should it get to that point, I do have emails and messages from him regarding the holiday, costs dates etc.

I also know that he is claiming Housing Benefit for his flat although he has now moved in with his girlfriend, but that is another issue.

paddyrg

^^ You do have legal recourse, but remember if he can't pay voluntarily, it isn't going to magic up more money for him to pay you on a CCJ. Clearly he is wrapped up in his new Mrs and is probably spending all his cash trying to impress her instead. I would treat the cash as already lost for now, if you see any of it back that's great, but bite your tongue if you want to keep anything of the friendship. Maybe ask him if he is coming to give you £20 a week at work, or if he isn't, if he can find someone who will? Not ideal, but a CCJ will probably not help much, unless you want to send bailiffs as well (at which point your friendship is over for sure.

As you say, the housing benefit is a side issue - if he is claiming it and not renting a property he is in far bigger trouble than your holiday - if you mention it to the council or anonymous benefit cheat tips lines, they can investigate the situation and make sure it is fair on the taxpayer.

savvysaver07

Bangerchick wrote: »

I would wholeheartedly agree with this advice - lending money to your friends is a sure fire way to stop being friends with them, and lose your money as well!

I sooo agree with this. Lent my 'best friend' a very large amount of money and theres £1700-ish left to pay only to be told today that she's not paying it any more and theres nothing I can do about it. I just don't know what to do...i'm full of regret and hate for lending the money to this so called 'friend'....100% gutted...feel like crying

josh_williams

i just want to ask about lending money to a friend who has text me each time they wanted to borrow. every amount has been requested this way and i have replied by text to say i will borrow. then they have text to say thank you. this friend is putting off promised payments to me. each time giving excuses. but the value of the loan is on text. and i have had 1 payment of £80.00 of the £600.00 owed which is also on text. are these text anyway binding as a contract or legal transaction.