Depression Support Thread

Sazbo

shazrobo wrote: »

thanks for hugs sazzie, how are you hun?
shaz x

I'm ok thanks shaz, bless your heart. Honestly, when I think of what you and others here have to go through, my troubles are nothing:o I hope you get text menace sorted, that's just totally out of order x Big hugs to your sons too...

Sxx

Miroslav

shazrobo wrote: »

yeah the texts are really disgusting, i showed them to my support worker, and he is speaking to his boss, to see if they can help sort it, if not then they'll help me in telling the police.
sorry to hear that your feeling so angry lately. i tend to take my anger out on myself which isnt good either, ending up with scars on my arms
shaz x

Glad you got some support for it at least.

Because of all the things that have happened in my life, I look at the world differently to most.

I used to be bullimic, making myself ill after meals etc. I took up bodybuilding because I felt nobody would want a guy if he wasn't muscle bound etc.

I still feel that way, but no-one wants me for anything other than a bit of hanky panky, so now all I think is i'll only be wanted if I had money too. I know how the world works and no matter how muscled I am, I'll never think it's enough. I've met too many shallow people, that I now think 99% of the world is shallow.

The worrying thing is, being the size I am, vertically and horizontally, I tend to make people worried when I get just a little flustered - they have no idea i'm really a gentle old fool - they just see the anger

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote: »

I'm ok thanks shaz, bless your heart. Honestly, when I think of what you and others here have to go through, my troubles are nothing I hope you get text menace sorted, that's just totally out of order x Big hugs to your sons too...

Sxx

Tut tut.

Everyone is as important as each other here :T

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote: »

I'm not sure they would refuse me, but I hate going backwards. It would make me feel like I have failed. I have, but I would be admitting it. I hate asking for help. I've done just about everything in my life on my own.

I'll have a think.

Have a think angel x But please dont ever think that you have failed. It takes courage. It took me 20 years to do what you're doing! You are continuing the healing process, a process that only you can do for yourself hun. So really it's your own work...:)

Sx

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote: »

Have a think angel x But please dont ever think that you have failed. It takes courage. It took me 20 years to do what you're doing! You are continuing the healing process, a process that only you can do for yourself hun. So really it's your own work...:)

Sx

Well, it's been 16 years since partner passed, so i'm not far from those 20 years.

I just feel i've done nothing and that doesn't make me much of a catch for anyone

I just want to be wanted and needed. It doesn't have to be a partner. I've never met my real dad, so I don't know if I have any siblings. I've always wanted to be a big brother to some sisters. I have issues with men and have never shown affection to males of any kind*, so brothers wouldn't be much use.

* - apart from my male cat

I just feel I have failed my partner and my daughter. I could easily go out and get a job, but with anger issues, the first person who bossed me about would be pinned to the ceiling by their tie

I could easily go out and have sexual relationships with different women every night, but that would be totally disrespectful to my departed partner, so I don't do it.

I don't know............i'm going nowhere fast and I can't stop it

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote: »

Well, it's been 16 years since partner passed, so i'm not far from those 20 years.

I just feel i've done nothing and that doesn't make me much of a catch for anyone

I just want to be wanted and needed. It doesn't have to be a partner. I've never met my real dad, so I don't know if I have any siblings. I've always wanted to be a big brother to some sisters. I have issues with men and have never shown affection to males of any kind*, so brothers wouldn't be much use.

* - apart from my male cat

I just feel I have failed my partner and my daughter. I could easily go out and get a job, but with anger issues, the first person who bossed me about would be pinned to the ceiling by their tie

I could easily go out and have sexual relationships with different women every night, but that would be totally disrespectful to my departed partner, so I don't do it.

I don't know............i'm going nowhere fast and I can't stop it

I don't think you have failed anyone, miro. Least of all your partner and daughter. I do think maybe the anger thing needs to be talked through, but IMO even in the 18 months? we've talked on here, I think you've come a long way hun, honestly. Just what I think... xx

Well m'dear, it's about time I hit the hay... been nice talking to you, as always.

Good night and speak soon,

much love,
Sazzy xxxx

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote: »

I don't think you have failed anyone, miro. Least of all your partner and daughter. I do think maybe the anger thing needs to be talked through, but IMO even in the 18 months? we've talked on here, I think you've come a long way hun, honestly. Just what I think... xx

Well m'dear, it's about time I hit the hay... been nice talking to you, as always.

Good night and speak soon,

much love,
Sazzy xxxx

By not doing anything with my life, I feel I have failed. I always think I should have died instead of them as they would have made a better life and not a wasted one like me.

We've talked longer than 18 months.........it was 17 months ago when I first started 'seeing' 'S'

I've responded to your message btw. I noticed after I sent it, I called you Sax. I don't think you are a metallic instrument and I won't try and blow through your ears - a mere slip of my finger when typing

Have sweet dreams........i'll be off soon. Very busy day tomorrow.........sleeping and then......maybe i'll do some housework if I am motivated

:wave: :T

Stephb1986_2

Morning all how are you all today??? im so excited i hardly slept

I wont be around now till sunday

catch you all later

Love hugs and kisses

Steph xxx

shazrobo

i dont think you have failed miro, you are a wonderful guy, have a think about counselling, i get a lot out of it.
i too have a real need to feel wanted and loved, and the only people who love me are my sons, and i love them more than anybody could imagine, despite their problems.
feel like i am a failure at relationships, none last longer than a couple of years, my kids problems obviously havent helped either as i always stick up for my sons.
N thinks the world of them tho, which is a good start, despite the problems me and him had last year, he is trying to understand, and i'm learning to understand him. who knows what the future holds.
feel like a failure as i havent worked for years, another single mum on benefits, but i am going to try and do something, even if its just doing courses, to try and better myself.
sazbo, i agree with miro, everybody here is important
big hugs
shaz x

Tulip

Stephb1986 wrote: »

Morning all how are you all today??? im so excited i hardly slept

I wont be around now till sunday

catch you all later

Love hugs and kisses

Steph xxx

I am fine thanks Steph,see you on Sunday


love and light,

Katie xxx