Verging on depression!!!

mick_granny

Hi, i'm late 20's and living with my partner.

I've just moved house and doubled the mortgage (borrowing, not payments - gone up from £490pcm to 750pcm) but thats not really the money problems with me. I pay £600pcm in to our joint account to cover the bills no matter what my financial situation is. This way my fiance does not know how bad it has became.

The problem seems to with my consumer behaviour. I wasnt brought up with the bide your time approach to spending. Basically if i see something i want i buy it regardless of cost or even if its cheaper next door.

The following outlines the income and expenditure i have to deal with and then theres the extras:

Income - main job (monday 9-5) = 1000pcm after tax + part-time job (sunday am + mon and wed evenings) = 350 - 400 pcm after tax. Totalling 1350 - 1400 pcm

Expenses - Money to joint = 600, Car insurance = 80, Mobile phone = 20 (contract ending mid march thank god), Petrol 140(ish), Overdraft is usually around -500. Totalling 1340pcm.

Outstanding Debt - Credit card = 4500 (0% til december on virgin cc). Only paying minimum each month (£25) as i cant afford anymore that that.

Stupidity in its essence. These need to be cancelled out - i smoke about 15 per day but i think i spend around £30 per week (120pcm), on the long days i work i buy mcdonalds which equates to around £10 per week (40pcm). i dont seem to be able to go without chocolate for a day which work out around £1 per day (30pcm).

This totals to around £1550 :eek: which is nearly £200 more than i bring home!!! This is getting a vicious circle. Paying bills, borrowing back as no money left, paying bills. It's getting to me now but CANT REALLY SEE A WAY OUT.

ANY SUGGESTIONS ON ANYTHING MONETARY WOULD BE GREATLY RECEIVED.
thanks -

scottishfreebiehunter

Hi there plenty of us out there in same boat though do not get to down as all can be sorted though it is hard belive me.

To quote you here
Basically if i see something i want i buy it regardless of cost or even if its cheaper next door.

:money:Have to change youre attitude a little bit here and yes it is difficult as was for me though getting there slowly but surely.
It actually gives you satisfaction on knowing you got said product cheaper.

Petrol be careful if you do not need the car do not take it walk.
MCDonalds been there done that and now never eat the things,plenty cheap food options out there to take for lunch pasta,Rissotto etc and if after a long day you cannot be bothered cooking why not prepare casseroles etc freeze them if not then do so night before meat veg and bung in oven go and watch tv.

Smoking well give it up again easier said then done and will take time.

Chocolate cannot help you with that one and nothing wrong with a daily fix:Dthough cut back to 50p a day or buy in bulk and works out loads cheaper.

Mobile phone when contract runs out PAYG
Mortgage nothing much you can do there.

Basically all and all sit and see what you can cut back on it will surprise you and yes will be hard for a while over even a few years though will be worth it in end.

Meant to add £500 overdraft start to reduce it by 50 a month and get it down to about £150 as always tempting

RAS

HAve you and OH actaully sat down and worked out what your joint financial needs are.

I would not be surprised if some of the places that you could save are on stuff in the joint account?

Also, if you have car, and rReally, really need to keep it, where is MOT, tax, maintenance?

Clothes, holidays etc?

It would be a good idea to post up and SOA covering the joint account and your own spends.

And what does OH earn?

maninthestreet

Give up you main job, and do the part time job on a full time basis - this should boost your income significantly.

In_Search_Of_Me

sorry maninthesreet buy why do you say that? Suer OP needs his main job at the moment!
I reco id you did the demotivator http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/protect/demotivator/#demovtop
you'll realise that you are spending about 3000 a year/250 a month on mcd's & fags alone!!
As others have said it would be a good idea to post your soa, also to have a chat to gf about what is going on and loo at WHY you are overspending. If you get a little note book you can write your spends down for a month & I guarantee you that you'll be gobsmacked at all the little bits & where that money goes!
Its about changing habits so that your money works better for you rather than being miserable. Things like comp wins take time but if you persever you'll get there eventually!
Re giving up smoking I know that its hard (sucking on a nicorette lozange as I type & battling the urge for just one eensy teensy fag!!) but see your gp, get a script for nicoteine product & join is on the giving up smoking thread! You'll eel so much better for it & youll have money to chuck at the debts then!! Big hugs & welcome!

maninthestreet

In_Search_Of_Me wrote: »

sorry maninthesreet buy why do you say that? Suer OP needs his main job at the moment!
I reco id you did the demotivator http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/protect/demotivator/#demovtop
you'll realise that you are spending about 3000 a year/250 a month on mcd's & fags alone!!
As others have said it would be a good idea to post your soa, also to have a chat to gf about what is going on and loo at WHY you are overspending. If you get a little note book you can write your spends down for a month & I guarantee you that you'll be gobsmacked at all the little bits & where that money goes!
Its about changing habits so that your money works better for you rather than being miserable. Things like comp wins take time but if you persever you'll get there eventually!
Re giving up smoking I know that its hard (sucking on a nicorette lozange as I type & battling the urge for just one eensy teensy fag!!) but see your gp, get a script for nicoteine product & join is on the giving up smoking thread! You'll eel so much better for it & youll have money to chuck at the debts then!! Big hugs & welcome!

The OP earns the best part of 40% of the income of their main job from their part time job alone, which they do for only 1 morning and 2 evenings a week.

mick_granny

my OH is on about the same as my 2 jobs put together but i cant bring myself to tell her that the fella who is supposed to look after her for the rest of her life cant even manage his own money. i do not want to let her down. if i can try to sort this out without stressing her i must try that way first.

She would help me but i want to try and sort this mess out myself because i've been stupid and need to learn the hard way that i shouldnt be spending what isnt mine.

Joint money is my 600 + oh 700 = 1300
mortgage is 740ish
shopping is 100 (usually a lot less if i do the shopping)
gas\electric\water about 100
council tax 100
the rest isnt really that much - 18 for phone + internet, plus a few odds and sods but were still buying a few bits and pieces for the house so cannot come up with a definate figure till probably april when were settled.

my car is paid for and does not need an MOT yet as its not 3 years old. its in good nick but my dad was a mechanic and i go to his old pals garages to get any problems fixed but im slowly learning myself to do the easy bits.

Any holidays my girlfriend always pays for as i hate flying and wouldnt go if it were up to me. i just pay for my spends which a week in new york last year cost me £2000 on the cc of course. paying the price now though.

I dont buy clothes til the ones i have either do not fit or are just wrecked (i've had a pair of trainers for 4 years). Plus i bought a lot in new york as I was up to the wearing the oasis t-shirt from 1996 stage which means its time for new threads.

mick_granny

in search of me thanks for that. i've got something to think about now.

mick_granny

Man in the street i see your point but i dont think i put myself accross properly.
My main job is a salary based job in the civil service and pays 1000 after tax for 37 hrs work pw.
My part time job is in a petrol station and i do 20 hours per week on minimum wage. depending on how many sundays, mondays and wednesdays i have bumper months and bad months.
I think i would have to work around 70 hours per week to equal the income i am getting now on both jobs.
60 hours is already starting to catch up on me and dont think adding another 10 hours would help. although i will admit my my garage job is much more enjoyable than my civil service job.
thanks for the thought man.

In_Search_Of_Me

MIk I would sit down with your GF. One of the reasons you are prob feeling depressed is that you probably feel stupid, angry with yourself and a bit of a failure - all feelings I can understand & its harder for blkes because you alwaysfeel you should provide? Feel free to say if I'm wrong? Problem isthat this will affect your health as you worry, try to keep things secret & youre not giving your GF the opportunity to support you. If you love eachother enough to share a house you shouls also be abe to share your highs & ows & work through it togeather...I realise that it will be hard but its a way of you taking control of yur money rather than it controlling you! Its also important because you wil have to cut back & over time that wil be hard to explain! Good luck! Are you going to try & give up smoking?!!!

barbie_doll_2

I really think that you need to sit down with your Fiance before you get married rather than everything snowballing. As someone else has pointed out, there are many things that you could probably save on thus reducing your monthly outgoings.

I am also a chocolate junkie so understand the cost of the habit! Find a friend who has a Makro and other cash and carry card. You'll buy a months chocolate at half the price!