Can you ever recover.

sandie11_2

I have just been very depressed lately and wondering if you can ever recover from bankruptcy.

My husband went bankrupt in January last year and we lost our business and home. We are renting a house and struggling to rebuild the business. It's just that I feel we are too old to get over this.
I am 40 and he is nearly 50.
Will we ever get another house, we have been told that council/housing association housing is impossible to get where we live. It's ok privately renting but you never know when you could be asked to move out. I am really anxious about never having a permanant home.
We have no family to rely on either.

The only good thing is our two teenage daughters but I feel so guilty that they have had to go through this too.

I feel better for talking about it anyway.

Richard_S

sandie11 wrote: »

I have just been very depressed lately and wondering if you can ever recover from bankruptcy.

My husband went bankrupt in January last year and we lost our business and home. We are renting a house and struggling to rebuild the business. It's just that I feel we are too old to get over this.
I am 40 and he is nearly 50.
Will we ever get another house, we have been told that council/housing association housing is impossible to get where we live. It's ok privately renting but you never know when you could be asked to move out. I am really anxious about never having a permanant home.
We have no family to rely on either.

The only good thing is our two teenage daughters but I feel so guilty that they have had to go through this too.

I feel better for talking about it anyway.

Hi sandie,

This forum hasn't been on the go for that long so we probably can't answer your questions definitively. Most of us were only declared bankrupt 18 months ago or less.

As for you age, your average is a good lot less than mine and my O.H's, and we have no doubt that we'll drag ourselves out of the mire. The timing isn't good, with something of a credit squeeze upon us, but the way I view it is that we just need to keep our noses to the grindstone, and take things one small step at a time.

We have four children and two were still living at home at the time of our bankruptcy and they were affected by having to move house a couple of times and I do feel guilty about it. The thing is, if I dwell on that, and it stops me from making a go of things then they're going to suffer twice as much.

Accept the past, learn from it, and get on with living today, and looking forward to the future. I hope that doesn't sound patronising, but I can't really think of a better way to articulate it.

Regards

Richard

Scared_witless

Hi Sandie, I can't pretend that I know what you've been through or feel like now, however my O/H and me went BR yesterday. We are in our 40s, we have lost our business, as much of our money as all our creditors put together and obviously our home may be at risk. We are both quite scared about what the future holds but I keep thinking about something someone said to me a few days ago "What doesnt kill you makes you stronger!".

When I think back at the really bad times we've been through it really does apply. I know it may sound patronising but also I keep thinking about what we've got and not what we've lost i.e our health and each other.

I hope this helps because I may be the person in a couple of years time asking the same question as you have asked and then you can reply to me and say yes it does get better.

Kind regards
SW

tight_jock

sandie11 wrote: »

I have just been very depressed lately and wondering if you can ever recover from bankruptcy.

My husband went bankrupt in January last year and we lost our business and home. We are renting a house and struggling to rebuild the business. It's just that I feel we are too old to get over this.
I am 40 and he is nearly 50.
Will we ever get another house, we have been told that council/housing association housing is impossible to get where we live. It's ok privately renting but you never know when you could be asked to move out. I am really anxious about never having a permanant home.
We have no family to rely on either.

The only good thing is our two teenage daughters but I feel so guilty that they have had to go through this too.

I feel better for talking about it anyway.

In a word - yes.
You can "recover "from bankruptcy . I never felt that it was an illness, personally so never thought about recovery!

To me, the BR was a new start, a rebirth if you like with a clean slate to do whatever I wanted too. No millstone of debt to hold me back.
I too lost a business but also all the stress that went with it. I am healthier, happier and better off ( although not necessarily money wise!!)

I rent a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere and , yes I could be given notice but , hey, that`s life. I have no mortgage or buildings insurance or hassle when the drains block, or a tree comes through the roof or the electrics blow or the water leaks. So life stress balances out.

If I was ever "ill" with BR then I would say that I am not only fully recovered but better than I was before.

Sorry to ramble but that`s the first time I`ve really thought about the whole thing in any depth for a long while.

Regards
:beer:
TJ

PS I was 42 when we petitioned.

nomoneyprobs

sandie11 wrote: »

I have just been very depressed lately and wondering if you can ever recover from bankruptcy.

My husband went bankrupt in January last year and we lost our business and home. We are renting a house and struggling to rebuild the business. It's just that I feel we are too old to get over this.
I am 40 and he is nearly 50.
Will we ever get another house, we have been told that council/housing association housing is impossible to get where we live. It's ok privately renting but you never know when you could be asked to move out. I am really anxious about never having a permanant home.
We have no family to rely on either.

The only good thing is our two teenage daughters but I feel so guilty that they have had to go through this too.

I feel better for talking about it anyway.

o'h sandie, it sounds like your having a hard time coming to terms with the past events. I can sympathise and relate to that..... my mind still plays games with me and I still question myself....

" How did it get so bad "
" why didn't I do x y & z sooner"
" why did I do X Y & Z? "

Whilst these questions don't go away I know that with time my self doubt will wain and these thoughts will be less frequent.

I'm 4 months into BR and I know that my life has improved hugely compared to my life before Br and I know that in the future things will get better. I think and truly believe that If you want something to happen YOU can make it happen, it may take some time but things will improve, you just have to want them to.

good luck and all the best for the future

Ian

TangledMemories_2

Hi Sandie,

I'm speaking as the eldest child of two bankrupt parents. Due to a lot of legal mistakes, my dad has been bankrupt since 1999 and will be until 2009
My mum however was discharged in 2004. You do eventually "recover" but I think as long as you learn at least one lesson from it all....you're a better person.

No-one can take going BR lightly - it does affect your life and your family whichever way you look at it. It affected me quite heavily because from the age of 8 I knew what bailiffs looked like, I knew how haulage companies worked and I also knew what the inside of a solicitor's office looked like!

I don't resent my parents for their bankruptcy...we all make mistakes.

*huge hugs*

PigSick_2

Hi Sandie,

Try not to dwell too much on what has happened and not really to look too much in the future either, just take it one step and one day at a time that way you'll feel much more in control. I know if you start thinking what if then things get difficult, face the problems when they happen and usually they aren't half as bad as you thought. Your kids love you for who you are and the love you give them not for what you can't give them materialistically.

Keep smiling x

sandie11_2

Thanks everyone.

I have been thinking about it and realise I do feel much better than I did a couple of years ago when I knew all this was about to happen.
In a way it was a relief to leave our old house, we took on an enormous mortgage and it became a such a burden.

I will try and think more positive. This site really is a big help.

Thanks again.

raq

my inlaws went through this 4 years ago, business and home and health wise they have never felt better. When they told there house at the time it was in the back of their minds, "What are we doing", just go now. They never though, had the money from the sale and put it into the debt on the business . 18 months later couldn't carry on and more. They also in their early 50's and they really don't care anymore. They pay their rent and that's about it.You don't hear them saying, "Where are we getting the money from to pay, rent/business rent/salaries and soforth. We also see much more of them which is great for my husband.

They still have each other and they had no chose but to walk away from it all

Chin up and you will all be fine.

maxmycardagain

if a BR gets 6 years (min) bad credit and is aged 50+ at time of BR maybe the pursuit of peace of mind rather than a good credit rating/house/mortgage/etc would be better, apart from a lottery win maybe a house is a tad beyond a BR's reach once past 50...

dalip

Hi
I did not have a business but i have worked and slogged my guts out for 11 years with a company my OH also works for.I am 49 and my bc has freed me and my OH from that job.I still want to work full time but i no longer feel in the corner. 12mths ago i would never have believed i would be saying goodbye to that way of life.I have 3 daughters 2 of which are still at home but they have seen what debt has done to me and they where 100% behind me. I thank god i got a second chance to "live" again. I am still very low but gradually i am getting there.It's a long journey and by no means a "quick cure" but the healing process begins the minute you walk from that court.Good luck to you.Dalip