SOA - help please

Bibariba

After months of thinking I'd be ok (ok, of not thinking about it and not opening the post etc), I have an appointment with a debt adviser at the CAB today, but I need some support please.

I got into debt over a number of years, basically living beyond my means. I could come over all pious about living frugally but I spent more money than I should have. Anyway, here I am now - out of work and £18k in debt.

I live on my own, but have a daughter in her final year at University.

I had to leave my job in 2007 as I was being badly bullied at work. I earned about £26k. I had hoped that exiting myself from this situation, I'd be able to bounce straight into another job but it hasn't worked out that way. I have been (and I'm ashamed and embarrassed to say) very depressed in the last six months, with my confidence shattered. So, I am currently getting Incapacity Benefit, Housing Benefit and Council Tax Benefit. God, it makes me cry just to think that I'm taking that money, even thought I paid into the system for a long time.

With the support of my union, I'm taking a case to Employment Tribunal for constructive dismissal. I'm aware that this is screamingly hard to prove. Results of an internal grievance procedure were not wholly encouraging.

Ahem.

I am working with a local agency that helps people with mental health issues get back into work and I very much want to very soon.

Six months ago, I had £1500 in savings, but I am now down to my last £300 - this should mean I can make my minimum payments until the end of March - but then...

Use of cards since I stopped work - I haven't used them at all, except (!) I let my daughter have £750 for her holiday. She understands the bank of Mum is empty now. It shames me to not be able to pay her train fare to come home, or help towards her rent which I said I would do... but I just can't do it.

This month, minimum payments started to bounce...

Overdrafts total - £3000 with Halifax
Credit Cards total - £15000
Virgin 16.5% - balance £5371, moved yesterday to HBOS 0% for 6months, £161 fee, credit limit £6450.
Amex 14.8% - balance £1822 - moved yesterday to Barclaycard 6.9% for life, no fee, credit limit £2150.
John Lewis 16.9% - balance £1184.
Alliance and Leicester 0% for 12months, expires June 2008 - balance £5691.
I also have the following cards on which I owe nothing (been bouncing my debt for a while...)
Natwest - £3950 limit, £0 balance, no transfer offers avail at present, transfer would be 13.1%.
Marks & Spencer - £4500 limit, £0 balance, no transfer avail at all, at any rate.
Capital One - £0 balance.
Egg card - £0 balance.

No assets

I have cut down on / got rid of:
TV Licence (as in I don't watch tv!)
DVD rental
Gym, weight watchers and meditation membership/classes
My car & all his expenses (sob)
Buying books, magazines and newspapers (almost cured)

I have a daughter at University, who will be home for a month in a couple of weeks time, and will probably be home for several months come June. Before I moved to a 1bed flat last year, her friend also lived with us during her holidays.

I am incredibly fortunate to have a lovely boyfriend who takes me out, I pay only once a month.

Before Christmas:
I haggled my Broadband down to £10pcm with Tiscali inc router & eve/weekend calls.
I am with BT, but on a 12month min contract, runs until Aug 2008
I switched my electricity provider, I don't have gas.

Sorry if that's really jumbled, if someone wants to ping me a format to use, I'd be happy to.

Please help me! I know my troubles are not as bad as some, but I'm ready to ask for and accept your help, come chuck it at me!

Thank you

peb

Bibara, you need to start a thread for yourself so that we can advise both you and Sillygirl. Perhaps the easiest thing is to cut and past this post. Read the Sticky at the top of the forum which will help you give us the information we need.

Please keep posting.

Sillygirl, I'm afraid youa re going to have to open those letters and also get a copy of your credit file. You can put an SOA down in the meantime and add to it once you know the full extent of your debts, have a coffee nearby and promise yourself a little reward (a bisciut?) once you have done.

Again, please keep posting.

Running_man

Hi
Sillygirl you need to post a SOA asap.
Bib-you need to post an income.And can i ask why have you given daughter £750 Last year of uni makes her 21?Old enough to stand on her own two feet.Sorry but she should not be taking money for a holiday.Not when you need the money

First job cut up the credit cards so you not tempted.Others will be along with advice

MrsTinks

I've seperated the thread out with the relevant replies to help everyone out a little
Welcome to BFW - hang in there and I'm sure people will be able to assist you

MrsTinks

Peb and running man can you copy your replies to the other thread again - sorry I moved your posts across not realising you'd replied to both posters! DOH!!!

peb

JUst bumping this up - we do however need a full SOA setting out all incomes and outgoings to try and save you money. check out the sticky at teh top for more details.

ms_london

Hiya. Welcome to MSE! I hope more people come along, see this post & give some advice!

Firstly, a big WELL DONE that you are still living off your savings, that is a great achievement, so you should be proud of that for starters - sounds like youve really stretched them!

Also, you shouldnt be embarrassed to say that you have been suffering from depression, nor that you are claiming benefits because of it. If people judge you on this and make you feel like you should apologise, this is their problem, not yours! Sorry you lost your job and had to go through that - how long until it goes to court?

How did your appointment at the CAB go? Were they any help? I wish more people would volunteer for the CAB, I recall I had to wait a week until I could see them! Personally, you can get just as much great advice on here - we're a clever bunch!

Is your daughter repaying you the money she borrowed? Sounds like a very expensive holiday for a student. After this, you really shouldnt feel guilty for not being able to pay for her train fare - but I guess that is what mums do!

Oh, with weightwatchers - do you read their messageboards? They are a great help. (I am doing WW at the moment, dont attend meetings, just follow it from home and weigh in at my gym weekly!) - also there is a 'how to lose weight thread' on one of these boards, and a few other weight loss ones around, I think the Oldstyle board also has one. I am always keen for a weight loss buddy though to keep me on the straight & narrow - PM me if you fancy spurring each other on!

You have already made a remarkable effort to cut your outgoings - you should be really proud of yourself! Some people find it hard getting rid of sky, let alone the tv! :T :T :T :T

Also, sounds like you are really clued up on everything too - well done moving your debts around. Could you move your overdraft onto a 0% credit card too? I am sure you can do this.

Oh, and it might be worth closing a few of your cards that you no longer use - as too many might work against you too with your credit rating and being able to apply for new 0% cards? Can you also balance transfer your John Lewis card?

If you could post your SOA? So, what you have coming in, and your usual expenses too, maybe we could help some more.

xx

nimbo

firstly bump.
and good luck at the tribunal, it'll be a hard slog, but your a brave woman and being strong will get you through that.
and the more people that admit to being bullied at work, the easier it becomes for others to step forward.