So what do you do when you can't cut any more?

Melusine

I am the divorced mother of a disabled son aged 25, he needs 24/7 care. Father long since fallen off the face of the earth. Son does go to a day care centre, but this doesn't mean I am free during the days - there are times I am called to deal with issues, he can't go if he is sick, he has doctor appointments, hospital appointments, social services appointments, etc., all of which I must be able to attend. Consequently, we live on benefits. (Yes, we are getting everything we are entitled to.)
At present, we live within our means - just. But in a couple of months, my other son is moving from home and I will lose the rent he pays. Since he never eats here, and almost lives with his girlfriend as it is, the rent has been a welcome bonus and kept us afloat. Once he is gone, I will miss his money. (I won't miss him, like i said, I haven't seen him much the last few months anyway. lol)
I just did the balance sheet thingy to see if I could cut my expenditure to suit my new income. Answer was slightly, but we were talking pennies. (We don't go out, we don't buy takeaways, etc. My biggest "non essential" expenditure is to pay social services for the weekend of respite I get once a month. (Yes folks, you do have to pay towards it.)
I have debts - old credit cards I am paying off. I used them in the past to buy things the kids needed at school. I've long since cut them up and the payments are interest free. I withstand the twice yearly bullying attempts to increase the payment amounts. Can't be reduced any more. I can't reduce my household expenditure by any more, and in fact, my budget is pared to the bone. But my expenditure is going to exceed income by about £110 a month. We became vegetarians to avoid the expense of meat, it did help slightly, but not enough.
Anyone got any ideas?

floss2

Will you gain anything council-tax or housing benefit wise when your other son moves out?

How much do you still owe on your cc's?

Will you still have to pay towards respite care when your income drops, if you are on full benefits then?

Sassamac

Has anything changed budget wise since your 'other' son started paying rent. In other words assuming he only started paying for his room when he turned 18 / got a job, whatever, how did you cope back then, and can you go back to that? or was that before you had debts to repay.

I think a SOA would be useful so we can see exactly whats what.

Is there anyway you can work from home?

immoral_angeluk

there's always something that can be cut down. But if you're down to your limit then the next step is to increase your income. 2nd job, ebay, quidco, etc etc etc.

Jacks_xxx

:wave: Hiya sweetie,

I think if you could come up with a SOA we will see what we can do to help.

(See the newbies post, third one down I think on the first page for how to do a SOA)

It's very easy to get a bit blinkered when times are hard and focus on what can't be done which is very disheartening . Fresh eyes on the situation can help you to come at things from a different angle, think outside the box and maybe see things a bit differently.

Or at least, that's how it worked for me.

Aug 2006 I'd just worked out that we owed £96,700 and I felt sick with shock at the utter hopelessness and futility of our situation.

Feb 2008 We're very close to being down to the last £20, 000 and I know that we will have paid that off a year or so from now.

I owe a lot of our progress to the help we 've had from the lovely peeps on this board.

So give us all the info and we'll help all we can.

Love Jacks xxx (experienced debtor of this parish. )

Seaxwyn

Hi Melusine

I can't offer any practical help but just wanted to post to send sympathy and support. It sounds as if you have a tough life being sole carer for your son.

Do post your SOA here - people are brilliant at spotting things that could be cut down, or chances to earn/make/claim extra money.

I'm sure you've explored this, but are there any opportunities to do work when your son is at the day centre, without making a regular commitment? eg ironing, dog walking, delivering leaflets?

best of luck and please keep posting, I'm sure there's a way to take the pressure off financially.

Melusine

Going backwards:

What's an SOA?

Can't get a second job, haven't got a first. If I earn more than £20 a week, I lose income support. And as I pointed out, I'm caring for a handicapped son, which does tend to take up time, and energy. I'm often up in the night with him, and frequently sleep a couple of hours in the day when he is at his day centre. For years now, I have had about four hours sleep a night, and some days an extra hour during the day. Respite weekends are spent in bed. We have appointments on average one day a week, some take all day, some half a day, but all require him to take the full day off from his day centre. Not many bosses would tolerate that level of absence. In common with many carers, I also get a lot of low level infections and illnesses myself. I wouldn't employ me.

Haven't got anything to sell on ebay. Haven't got anything to sell, full stop. Don't know what quidco is, will google it in a minute.

Before he started paying rent, other son was at school and we got child benefit for him, plus more income support for having an extra child. His rent is less than I lost in benefits when he left school. I cannot reclaim that, because it was there because of him being my dependent.

I live in a housing association house, so have been careful about working from home. They're quite hot on it. My daughter also got caught with a home working job when her kids were first born. She ended up working for about fifty pence an hour.
I have written some plays, which have been published. They make a small amount of royalties each year, enough to pay for Christmas if we don't go mad. But it isn't guaranteed income. If drama groups don't buy, I don't earn. I live IN hope of writing something that makes the professional stage or screen, but you can't live ON hope. I don't have stars in my eyes.

Altogether, with a loan and three ccs, I still owe about £18k. all have waived the interest and accepted lower than minimum payments. Payments altogether are monthly £184. I struggle to find it. (The crisis occured four years ago when troublesome son walked out of school, losing me all benefits related to him. It took him a couple of weeks to get a job, and then he earned so little, I couldn't charge him in rent what I had lost. The creditors were very helpful.) Son has been paying me rent and has also been paying the rent and council tax which are his share, the only part of the expense we have to find. So although I won't have to pay his rent and council tax any more, it won't actually make any difference to me, moneywise, since I never saw the money go in or out in the first place.

I am on full benefits now. I will still have to pay for respite. That's how it works. It is subsidised, obviously, otherwise it would be hundreds each time. But even so, it's a chunk of money if you don't have it. And I need that respite. It's only one weekend a month, but it keeps me sane.

squeaky

Melusine wrote: »

I have debts - old credit cards I am paying off. I used them in the past to buy things the kids needed at school. I've long since cut them up and the payments are interest free. I withstand the twice yearly bullying attempts to increase the payment amounts. Can't be reduced any more. I can't reduce my household expenditure by any more, and in fact, my budget is pared to the bone. But my expenditure is going to exceed income by about £110 a month. We became vegetarians to avoid the expense of meat, it did help slightly, but not enough.
Anyone got any ideas?

Hiya

Once the great bods here on DFW have helped you skin your bills down a bit - and you have some idea of what is left for housekeeping, pop across to the Old Style board. It's crammed full of tips, help and advice on budgeting, shopping, meal planning, cleaning, cooking and much much more.

Pared to the bone huh? It's rare that we can't find ways to help. Honest

MoneySaving Old Style

floss2

Take a look at this: http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=107280

It will explain how to post an SOA - statement of affairs.

You'll need to have your income & expenditure details.

Good luck!
Floss x

Melusine

How do I find the newbies post to find out what an SOA is?

floss2

Also, why not contact CCCS http://www.cccs.co.uk/ as they may be able to help with the debts, or advise you as to your best way forward.