Money Moral Dilemma: Should Ross not be there for Joey?

Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:
Should Ross not be there for Joey?

Joey and Chandler rent rooms at "mates' rates" from their friend Ross, with all three of them living in the same trendy apartment. Every so often, Ross has friends round for parties, and asks Joey and Chandler to make themselves scarce until 2am when the party ends, so they duly pop to the all-night Coffee House. Yet Joey now wants to throw a party for some of his work buddies, and asks the same favour of Ross. Yet Ross thinks it's out of order to ask him to leave his own flat for the night. Should Ross not be there for Joey?
Click reply to have your say

Previous MMDs:

Should Jamie take Gordon to a pricey restaurant?
Should Karl pay for Susan's cat?



  • reehsetin
    reehsetin Posts: 4,916 Forumite
    ross should boogger off and allow the same courtesy as he expects
    Yes Your Dukeiness :D
  • Landlord makes the rules, he can't expect Ross to leave, but he could invite him along to keep the peace
  • Ross could only win a Pyrrhic victory
  • liney
    liney Posts: 5,121
    Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    If Joey and Chandler are getting rooms at 'mates rate' why aren't they invited to his parties in the first place?

    Ross should go out.
    "On behalf of teachers, I'd like to dedicate this award to Michael Gove and I mean dedicate in the Anglo Saxon sense which means insert roughly into the anus of." My hero, Mr Steer.
  • JimmyTheWig
    JimmyTheWig Posts: 12,199
    Name Dropper First Post Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    I agree with Liney. If they're all mates then they should all go to each other's parties. Nothing wrong with mixing different groups of friends.
    If Joey and Chandler didn't _want_ to hang out with a bunch of paleontologists then fair enough for them to go out - but that doesn't mean Ross should have to go out when the boot's on the other foot.
  • Since they are mates you'd expect them to :beer: together, but at the end of the day Ross is the boss and he's doing Joey and Chandler a favour by charging them mates rates. He has the right to ask them to !!!!!! off, Joey does NOT have the right to ask the same. If they were paying equal shares then it would be different.

  • harryhound
    harryhound Posts: 2,662 Forumite
    It might be 40 years ago, but I clearly remember this situation with students and what became known as "yuppies", sharing property.
    We don't know what sort of shared experience Joey, Chandler & Ross share that has made them "mates" and so how close they really are.
    I met my "mates", by moving to a cheap bedsit in a large Victorian slum, with shared kitchen and bathroom. It was the sort of place where each person tried to cook their own meal and pinch each others milk. "Want a coffee?" -- "I'll just wash up a mug".

    After about 3 months, as the cold and damp of winter crawled in round the windows and up the walls. This was before natural gas had been found and central heating was something installed by managers living in posh suburbs. Three of us resolved to change our lifestyle before it changed us.
    Being the proud owners of two bangers and a motorbike, we were able to exit the small inner city and managed to "blag" the tenancy of a 1950's semi out in the countryside.:T (Still paraffin heating but no rising damp, knowing what I know now, we would have burn more logs in the stove, especially at weekends:rolleyes:).
    We lived as a household, pooling resources to afford the 28 GBP per month rent and the 10 GBP a week food and heating bill.
    It worked very well - perhaps because I was the banker and religiously wrote up the accounts every week.
    We would chuck the other two out of the house for the day/evening, if there was an intimate occasion. Like having parents and godmother visiting to satisfy themselves their lad was not living a life of alcohol soaked, drug fuelled, depravity. Or perhaps to avoid the "gooseberry" effect, though that is one of the reasons that public transport will never replace the motor car;).

    But if there was a "party" of more than half a dozen guests, all three of us would be present and introduced to everyone - these day's it is called networking. Being out in the country, we were able to have some summer parties that reached 3 figures:eek:

    There is nothing worse than living in a household where one feels socially excluded and a necessary evil.


    (2 of us are still friends, the third sadly died in a car smash).
  • JayD
    JayD Posts: 692
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    It doesn't add up. If they are all mates then I would expect them all to be invited to each other's parties.

    But hey, if there is an obvious divide between landlord and tenants - and house rules have been established that demand the tenants make themselves scarce when the landlord has his private parties - then I think it is wishful thinking to expect Ross to vacate his premises for them to do the same.

    Should he or not?
    Well, that depends on whether he wants to be a friend or a landlord first, I guess.
  • We have a similar situation to this. Me and bf own the house, rent out two rooms to friend/family of bf's at a very cheap rate (to help them out while they get on their feet).

    If they dared asked me to go out while they were having a party, I definitely would have something to say about it. We do all "hang" out together, but they have their friends who I don't see/like.

    I certainly wouldn't like the idea of them having a party in a place where me and bf pay the majority of the mortgage and where they only give us a nominal sum.

    Thankfully they have had the sense not to even ask cos I don't think they'd like the answer! It's our house, we're only temporarily (she says a year and a half down the line) helping them out, so no... I don't think they have any right to use my house for a party.
    Pink Sproglettes born 2008 and 2010
    Mortgages (End 2017) - £180,235.03
    (End 2021) - £131,215.25 DID IT!!!
    (End 2022) - Target £116,213.81
  • I think they should invite each other to their parties, but if Joey leaves the apartment for Ross, I think Ross should do the same for him
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