What’s a fair divorce settlement? Poll discussion

srvr

This thread is a reminder of the reasons not to get married if you are a man.. you'll get screwed.

Sad but true and i am not nor have been married, although i am in the prime zone for marriage age wise, it just doesn't seem like a good proposition these days. Apparently the average spend on the day plus honeymoon is £21,000 currently which is the ultimate hubris imho. Then of course with marriages still going wonky at 7 years you can expect to loose half your estate, 1/3 of your income and half your pension as well. Of course if you marry a woman whose richer than you then in any divorce you will be all right but i think woman have never been daft enough to marry down on mass so there is no hope there.

Obviously that doesn't cover all the heartache of reduced access to children, concerns about other men raising your kids and in some cases women using access to children as a means to get more money and that DOES happen as i have seen it happen.

Marriage, in the main, is an extremely expensive institution for men, fraught with danger of the 50% chance of failure with disproportionate ongoing financial costs associated with that failure and no compensation. If it were any other contract, in business for example, a rational cost benefit analysis would almost guarantee that you wouldn't touch it with a 10' barge pole.

Lucky were too dumb to be rational.

Tigertiger

I think she should get 10%, because of the short length of the marriage, and the fact that she did not contribute to his wealth.

I want to tell you my story. Married for 34 years, we were very poor to begin with, and went without many things that others take for granted. My husband worked very long hours, with much responsibility. I supported him to the best of my ability. Then, after he became successful and rich, he decided, as they say, to trade me in for a younger model.

He lied about his income and assets in the divorce, and I was awarded little in regards to housing - the family home was sold, and I got half, but we had a large mortgage to repay. Because of this, I was awarded 30% of his future earnings.

I also got half his pension.

However, he has not paid the 30%. Still a very high earner, his accountants are in cahoots with him and he has declared a low income. I queried this with the senior partner in the firm, who told me that it was not up to him to question his client's declaration.

My ex has married again, and enjoys a lavish lifestyle( just about to go off to the Maldives for the third time since he left). However, he has given me only £5000 since 2005, and I verbally agreed not to contact his accountants or seek any further legal advice in return for this.. I am now obviously reneging on this.

Take him to court, you say. Unfortunately, I can't afford £200 an hour for solicitors. Expecting a considerable sum, I invested in property, which is now worth less than I paid for it. My mortgages leave me little to spend. I am selling my doll collection and my china on eBay to try to survive. Because of my pension, I am not entitled to legal aid.

Get a job, you say. Well, I've tried - the last I applied for was washing up in a school. I didn't get it.

Sell the property, you say. Then I would have to pay Capital Gains tax, and would be worse off than before I began.

I know I am better off than many people. I have five lovely children, who are a joy to me. But the youngest is struggling to survive at university because his father won't support him, and another has been unfairly sacked and is facing an industrial tribunal. He is disabled following a severe head injury when he was 8.

I am finding it very hard to cope. I've been to the CAB, and posted this information on several websites, but there is no answer to my problem. That is, unless one of you good people can think of one. To those who managed to read to the end of this, thank you.

sluggy1967

Why shouldnt it be split 50/50? When my husband & I married we made vows to share all our worldly goods. Don't get married if you dont mean the vows!

StuFos

"Women:
15% said Janet should get nothing
21% said Janet should get 10%
18% said Janet should get 20%
19% said Janet should get 30%
5% said Janet should get 40%
21% said Janet should get 50%
1% said Janet should get more than 50%"

I think this stat just show how many women are money-grabbers these days. Us poor guys

srvr

Tigertiger your story is a sad one, its the polar opposite of the scenario question and i wish you luck getting a better share of what you helped build. There are forums on MSE full of people who can offer support. I hope you get him, any father who wont support his kids isn't a father imho.

numberjack_2

MiserlyMartin wrote: »

This comment is rather strange. I'm sure that most men are not getting married just because something of in their pants! It's attitudes such as yours which ensure plenty of men have a very cautious view of marriage. In 6 years out of work she won't find a job... well it was her choice not to work and live off her husbands 10 Million fortune so you cannot blame the man for that.

He is already providing generously for the children, so she should get nothing else period. That 10 million was earnt before the marriage, and therefore is not a product of the marriage. She is not entitled to anything other than maintenance for which he is already paying. This thread is a reminder of the reasons not to get married if you are a man.. you'll get screwed. Happy Valentines Day. (Thats a rip off too!)

It's unfair to say it was her choice not to work - this may well have been a joint decision made by both parents to give their children the best start in life.

A lot of posters on the column are suggesting that Janet is a gold-digger - i don't agree - a marraige is for life, which means sharing everything from the start. His personal fortune thus became a joint fortune and he should acknowledge her contribution to the marriage as a wife and mother. Even he gave her 50% both parties have more than enough to start afresh with as little harm done to the children as possible
Just my opinion.

MissMoneypenny

StuFos wrote: »

I think this stat just show how many women are money-grabbers these days. Us poor guys

It works the other way round too. I worked hard and had assets and my OH didn't. When I divorced him, I had to give him half. Just look on it as being worth every penny to get rid of them:D

cazrobinson

: ) MissMoneyPenny


think most posters are quite harsh. i agree that they got married and therefore all assets should be split fairly 50:50.

regards to the mcartney's, i think she is only asking for 5 million out of his 80 million of assets and she is raising his child. me thinks that's fair, if that's what would make her happy.

Scarum

sluggy1967 wrote: »

Why shouldnt it be split 50/50? When my husband & I married we made vows to share all our worldly goods. Don't get married if you dont mean the vows!

Vows come from an airy religious ceremony. You should feel these things when you marry, regardless.

Sharing, when you separate you don't share anymore, though in the eyes of the law you keep a certain proportion to keep a reasonable level of what you were used to... but not 50%! Unless of course the wife contributed to that wealth.

Well, I voted 20% to the ex-wife, should be plenty. Though would say 15% is fair enough.

LuciferTDark

I think divorce is too easy to get these days, marriage isn't just something you should be able to fall in & out of like a bed, it's supposed to be a lifetime commitment between 2 people.

If they outlawed divorce people might actually think about the consequences a bit more than just say "oh well if it doesn't work we can get a divorce".