What’s a fair divorce settlement? Poll discussion

Nobbled

I'm divorced, self-employed and £70k in debt. My ex has the kids most of the time because I could not afford to stay in the same area after being nobbled over the settlement. She got 70% but wanted 80% with spousal maintenance and £500 pcm maintenance!!!

I was nearly bankrupt when i agreed to the settlement under immense stress, duress and against the advice of my solicitor. I agreed on the basis that she was going to buy a house mortgage free for herself and our kids and that she had no intention of co-habiting with an Accountant she had been seeing 2 years prior to her asking me for a separation. 6 months after the settelement, she's bought a house with this guy, got herself a Landrover Discovery 3 and threatens to take me to court every time I get up to 2 months behind in the maintenance. Clearly, not all the settlement money went on property for her and the kids!!!

But in divorce - it's not just about the money but the kids too. In this compensation culture we live in - should both parties not be honourable with one another and share the kids and the money equally if they can/want to? It's much better for the kids in the long run as the parents will actually find that they should get on better with one another and actually be ok with helping one another out from time to time. I could not afford to have the kids as much as I would have liked, because she was screwing me to the wall. Reckon her Accountant boyfriend knew all the angles (funny...he managed to get 50% from his settlement from his laywer ex-wife).

I now find myself in rented accomodation, considering a debt management plan and been advised it will take me 6.5 years to get out of debt. I could write a book and make a film about what I've been through over the last 8 years. Anybody got any contacts?

I would split the proceeds with my ex-partner whom I moved in with. We got an mortgate extension for an extension to her house so that my girls had their own bedroom when they came to visit me. One slip of my business, I'm financially exposed again. My ex-partner has kicked me out and because of my financial difficulties she is selling her house to downsize, cos my name was on the deeds.

In the long-term my kids are going to suffer - and my ex-wife just cannot see it. If anyone's got any bright ideas.....HELP!!!

Yours, Nobbled (well and truly).

disillusion

There seems to be an opinion here that the female gets the better deal.
Well after a 10 year marriage, where the abusive husband barely works, through choice, and has kids from a previous marriage living at home. The wife goes out to work as someone has to pay the household bills, food, furnishings clothes, holidays, christmas presents etc including all kids stuff.
He gets CSA then when kids leave school, rent, which he keeps.
On seperation he stays in house, she continues to pay mortgage for 6 months while he collects around £1,000 in rent from kids and lodgers plus gets car and all furniture in house. He then changes mortgage to interest only so pays minimum amount.
She has to get loan for a car, furniture and fittings for rented house, deposit and rent in advance.
Come the financial settlement would it seem reasonable for the husband to walk away with cars (2) all contents of marital home, savings accounts and 60% of the house sale? The wife has to pay the majority of her share to pay for her car and furnishings in a rented property. In fact the solicitor got double what the wife did in cash.
The husbands 60% was pure cash.
I would love someone to tell me now the women win out

adrian_clark

disillusion wrote: »

There seems to be an opinion here that the female gets the better deal.
Well after a 10 year marriage, where the abusive husband barely works, through choice, and has kids from a previous marriage living at home. The wife goes out to work as someone has to pay the household bills, food, furnishings clothes, holidays, christmas presents etc including all kids stuff.
He gets CSA then when kids leave school, rent, which he keeps.
On seperation he stays in house, she continues to pay mortgage for 6 months while he collects around £1,000 in rent from kids and lodgers plus gets car and all furniture in house. He then changes mortgage to interest only so pays minimum amount.
She has to get loan for a car, furniture and fittings for rented house, deposit and rent in advance.
Come the financial settlement would it seem reasonable for the husband to walk away with cars (2) all contents of marital home, savings accounts and 60% of the house sale? The wife has to pay the majority of her share to pay for her car and furnishings in a rented property. In fact the solicitor got double what the wife did in cash.
The husbands 60% was pure cash.
I would love someone to tell me now the women win out

Sounds like you've been failed by an abusive coward whose word is worthless, proven by his failure to keep the binding promises of marriage which is a lifetime covenant. Words matter, words are powerful and words must be respected. Weak men who fail to honour their wives while we have soldiers on the front line paying for freedom with blood should be held to account. They should expect to have to give every waking hour serving those they have neglected through selfishness.

"Each one of you should love his wife as he loves himself and a wife must respect her husband." Ephesians 5:28-29,33