Hubbie messed up everything

Valley's_girl

I am so pleased that you have managed to sort things out. You are sounding much more positive in your post.
Best wishes
Ally x

No_more_credit_thanks

A gambler is pretty much like an alcholic, you can be clean for ages then all of a sudden your back on the wagon. Someone gives a "dead cert" it'll win but a problem gambler doesn't know when to stop an profit will soon turn to loss.

I can't access the exact website at present but GAMCARE have recently introduced some strict regulations on bookmakers.

One of these is a self exclusion - Customers can barr themselves from gambling with a particular bookies for a period of up to 5 years. I suggest your DH does this with all the bookies he has accounts with (trust me it won't just be one, probably 4 or 5). Takes away some of the temptation if he needs to set a new account up to play with.

He'll gamble again given the chance so remove the chance element of it.

southwester_2

Hi

I did this and got us 27000 in debt, eventually told my wife after realising what a d*** i had been, very hard time for us but she stood by me and now havent gambled since February 2007, hey just realised its a year. If he wants to he will, however there is a website called gamblock which will stop your husband entering any gambling websites on the internet.

Hope this helps, ps now down to £15000

G-G_4

Good Luck with things xx

cupid_s

I'm glad he's trying to make up for it.
Maybe you could go to GA together?
In a way it might work out betetr for you paying off your debts - if you have sole control over the finances then not only will he not gamble but he wont spend money on all those little things that most of us waste money on from time to time, thus leaving you with even more spare cash to throw at your debts.
Good luck

mbaz

Thank you thank you thank you everyone. I dont know what I would have done without this site on Tuesday as I didnt feel able to confide in friends or family as I dont want them to think bad of him. Going to sort self exclusions for him (will ask him to list all usernames and passwords) and look at the blocker thing as well so he cant be tempted. thanks so much everyone.

In_Search_Of_Me

aww hugs for you & thanks southwester for such an honest post...its a toughie but if its worth keeping its worth working for but to has to come from both of you & trust has to be rebuilt...I would suggest GA but if OH doesent think he has a problem then thats a problem in itself...I wouls suggest you investigate what would happen if you were to go it alone & make an informed choice on that basis. The fact that he is happy to gamble your rent money would scare the **** out of me TBH and the fact that he doesent see this as a problem even mre so..My x husband was like this and looking back I'm so happy that I never have to go to the bank & not know what money I have again. Never again but each of us is different and you can only make a decision for you and your children. Do you have family/friends to confide in & get some support from?

mbaz

Thanks in search of me.

No I dont feel I can confide in anyone as I dont want them to think bad of him. We was trying to help us by getting more money but ended up making everything worse. He seems genuinely upset and scared to loose us so really wants to work things out. I think if I control all the finances and cards and just give him cash when he needs it we will get through. I think GA isan option though as I think he's recovered and then he does it again about a year later so there's more at the root of this I think. His Dad gambles a lot and has had major money problems so I think it stems from that and I cant bare the thought of our boys turning out the same so am gona make sure he gets help before its too late.

thanks again.

In_Search_Of_Me

I have never been addicted to gambling so dont know how it works but the case today was interesting bloke who is suing william hill for 2 million). I assume that a gambler thinks they will be able to win "next time" & like al addictions has every intention to change, just struggles to do it? What worries me is that your OH sounds like he doesent think he has a problem & facing it is the main issue....would be go off & borrow money from other people if he couldnt get it from you do you think? My heart goes out to you ...it must be an awful position to be in...

mbaz

I dont think he will because he is quite a proud person so he wouldnt want to admit to his friends about his problem or that I've siezed his card!! I'm really hoping that we can get through this. I think once we're out of debt (hopefully Oct/Nov this year if all goes to plan) there wont be as much temptation for him as we'll have much more free cash and wont be scraping together to afford things.

Here's hoping anyway