do children benefit from having at least one of their parents home

Deals_2

when they come home at 3 pm. my daughter is at nursery still but i worry that if am away doing full time this will make her lonely. i suffered from this as a child as my mum was always working - though am close to my mum. any tips appreciated. thanks

haylibo

Sorry deals, not 100% sure of what you are asking.

Deals_2

long hours. i wonder if this is normal and does it have any detrimental effect on one's toddler?

Deals wrote: »

when they come home at 3 pm. my daughter is at nursery still but i worry that if am away doing full time this will make her lonely. i suffered from this as a child as my mum was always working - though am close to my mum. any tips appreciated. thanks

Janepig

You're a parent, you're going to feel guilty whatever you do. If you work you feel guilty that your daughter's missing out on time with her mum, but if you stay at home then you feel guilty because maybe you can't afford to get her things that her friends have, or go on holiday, etc.... There's more reasons than that why you'd feel guilty whatever you do, but you get the jist.

I work three days a week (full days), DS goes to day nursery and DD is in school (my dad takes her, in laws pick her up and she stays with them until DH picks her up). The two days I'm off obviously I do drop offs and pick ups and have DS with me. Next year when he goes to school I'm (hopefully) going to change to working every day but finishing in time to fetch DD and DS from school.

For me it was important that I kept a foot in the door at work because I would never have got my job back, or anything like it, after the children started school, and as I love what I do I didn't want that to happen.

Jxx

morganb

Agree with Janepig here; I do three full days too, although I can still drop off 4 times a week and pick up 3 times a week. OH does the dropoff once a week. DS1 goes to Teatime Club twice a week, often only until 345 at the latest, and DS2 is at Nursery for 2 full days plus one day with Grandparents ... and I think it's lovely that they have had that time with Grandparents and DS1 gets to build important relationships with older peers such as the Sixth Formers that help run Teatime Club. Obviously we are very lucky that the school has that facility.

I think next year I'll spread my three days over 4 days so that I can do the pick up / drop off every day, but that's only because I love a gossip at the school gate!! I don't think longer hours are necessarily detrimental - but there's no way I could do my job full time without going completely mad.

*Louise*

As long as you feel that you are doing the best you can for your daughter - then you are doing the right thing.

Whether this means working or staying at home - if you have made the difficult decision with her welfare at the foremost then it's the right thing no matter which way you go....and you should'nt feel guilty

penguin83

Hi Deals - Im in a similar situation to Janepig (i think we both work for the same dept if I remember right?) Anyway I went back full time after maternity leave with both of mine and felt terribly guilty but as Jane said me earning a wage as well as OH meant we could buy a house with a garden and a bedroom each etc. I am just changing my hours to have a full day at home with my youngest and to catch up on housework to leave my weekends free to spend proper time with them (instead of in between the hoovering!). I will also be able to take my daughter to school and pick my son up from nursery.

Whatever we do as parents we always do with our childrens best interests at heart and there is no right or wrong answer.x x x x

poppyscorner

Have to agree with everyone else and say you will feel guilty whatever you do.

I work full time but I am not a 9 - 5 worker I am a 12hr shift gal and also work a 24hr rotation I feel very guilty about it at times.
My mum also worked when I was a kid and like you I am close to her.

My OH also used to work shifts and with me also doing them that did not work at all so he packed in and went self employed he does school runs etc thats just how it is.

Please dont beat yourself up about being a working mum.

globalds

do children benefit from having at least one of their parents home

Yes....As long as you spend lots of that stay at home with your kids ..

starbump

Deals wrote: »

when they come home at 3 pm. my daughter is at nursery still but i worry that if am away doing full time this will make her lonely. i suffered from this as a child as my mum was always working - though am close to my mum. any tips appreciated. thanks

Of course children benefit from having their mom at home. They also benefit from having a sufficient household income to meet their needs. If you need to work then so be it - your daughter will be fine. Being a SAHM means your kids spend more time at home instead of in childcare, they get more homemade cakes/cookies, have greater stability from the same carer 24/7, etc. It doesn't mean your kids will never be lonely, shy, upset, ill, etc. I'm sure you will have the same close relationship with your daughter as you do with your mother.

Strapped

I've just managed to negotiate a new job, full-time, but working "manufacturing hours" ie finish at 3pm so I can pick DS up from school at 3.30pm. :j DH will drop him off in the mornings, so fingers crossed, it will work well. Any chance of you doing something similar? (Early nights here I come). I would've prefered part-time, tbh, but in my line of work it's hard to come by!