The Compers Inn - Part 2

wokkies

:j :j big bottles of pepsi max was 72 or 82p today in Tesco for 2 litre bottle. Just bought 1:rolleyes:

bella165

CLASSES FOR MEN AT
THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS


REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY:
Monday,28/04

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.






Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step,
with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.




Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.




Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoid ing The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.




Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM




Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday a! nd Sunday 7:00 PM




Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.




Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00! PM for 2 hours.




Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.




Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.




Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined




Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.




Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Dem! onstrati on.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors

bella165

asda are doing 2 big bottles of pepsi for a pound i cant stand the stuff but i thourght id share it with ya

bella165

Giving up Wine :
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for acouple of dollars for dinner.






I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you thismoney, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?'




'No I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman told me.




'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.




'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'




'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' asked.




'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. 'I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'




'Well,' I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'




The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'




I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.'

VelvetGlove

Well folks, I'm back from hols, eyes are open only by aid of matchsticks & nipped on to check how many comps I was behind..... only 1100 according to my tally :eek: Oh well, I'll need something to do between loading & emptying when the washing machine is on tomorrow

See you all after some sleep! (ps - Comp prize hol was fab!)

wokkies

:j :j :j :j :j :j
Lets have a party to welcome you back:D
Drink????

wokkies

ok then you boring lot, we'll just say prayers and sit quietly on a lovely sunday afternoon

Rock_Chick_Bird

Go on then Wokkies, pour me a Vodka & Coke in a LARGE glass!! I'd hate to see you drinking alone!!

bella165

hi everyone and wecome back velvetglove has any one recive a email from www.movie-moron.com in regards to the cottage competition???as i did today and it said
Thanks for entering. We had a lot of entries on the 15th April, over 60, which was very unusual for us, so I was kinda curious where you heard about the competition?
All the best,
ive never had this before have any of you and im not sure to say from here or randon looking what do you guys recon?

wokkies

Rock_Chick_Bird wrote: »

Go on then Wokkies, pour me a Vodka & Coke in a LARGE glass!! I'd hate to see you drinking alone!!

:j :j :j :j couldnt find a large glass so found a large bottle:D


did ya want coke aswell, hang on, your not having my winning ones,