I need some help to deal with my bf

nevadagirl

Hi Kitten - at risk of airing my dirty laundry yet again, you are in a similar position to me five years ago and I've PM'd you the full story so you know you're not alone on this one - there are loads of us here who have been through a similar situation when helping out people we really care about.

Do what you can in practical terms to help him pick himself back up but make it clear you can't give him any more money. Help him do job applications or circle ads in the newspaper, but make sure he's playing some kind of proactive role in it, or he might not stick with it when he does get another job. Also remember that you are part of the relationship too, you're half of a team, and not a cash machine! I wish I'd thought up that little pearl of wisdom years ago :rotfl:

sunshine_shell

I agree with the posters above, you need to be cruel to be kind and stop giving him money. It will seems hard but if he loves you he will understand that you need to clear you debts and get yourself sorted.

Good Luck we are all here for you x

IWasWondering...

Sure seems like a smart guy to me.

Lies around all day, play games all night, smokes weed, takes out loans, new contracts, never pays bills or rent, doesn't even buy food.

Doesn't need to does he, when he's got a MUG like you around to feel sorry for him, pay his rent, buy his food and even worry how to pay his loans?

STOP NOW. He's a grown up. He should be looking after himself. He is not your responsibility. The only thing he is helping himself to is your money.

If he has been diagnosed as depressed (and SAD) what has his doctor prescribed?

I don't mean to sound nasty and I hope you don't take it that way BUT he really is taking advantage of you and your good nature. The next time he gets angry walk away. And stay away. If he can't even treat you with respect he doesn't deserve you.

SpongeBobSP

Can I ask why put with him doing this?

[I was going to ask 'why are you still with this loser?'...but i thought it was too cruel to you.]