'Home alone' - what age?

ktj

We live in the centre of a very small rural village about 150 yards from the village hall. The hall runs evening classes on Sundays 6-8pm. or weekdays 7-9pm. At the moment we pay babysitters whenever we go to the classes.

We have a very sensible, very reliable 10 year old son, who is now wanting more and more independence. He says that he is now old enough to stay 'home alone' with a friend watching videos whilst we go to classes. As he points out, last summer he played out in the village field, (which is adjacent to the village hall and which is in sight and earshot of our home) with his friends for hours on end, whilst we were at home and that what he is suggesting would just be the reverse of this situation.

Certainly if we left him 'home alone' we would pop back to check on him half way through the class and at all times we would be contactable by mobile phone in fact we would even be close enough to listen in on him with the baby listener! Moreover the saving on babysitters would be most welcome. Is he still too young or are we being over protective?

I would greatly welcome advice on this from other parents. Or are there any guidelines or recommendation on this. Thanks in advance for any help.

esuhl

Well, I was left alone (for just a few hours at a time) from about 8, although it wasn't until I was around 10 that I was left at home with a friend. I was "the sensible one", and my friend couldn't believe that we were allowed to stay at home while my parents popped out. His first though was something like "Where are the matches?! Let's start a fire!" Fortunately I managed to talk him out of it!

It sounds like you trust your son not to do anything stupid, but maybe you could try leaving him for a short while to see if he can resist the urge to do things that he's not supposed to. Of course you'll need to let him know the rules: don't open the door to strangers, don't tell anyone who phones that you aren't at home, no cooking, no fires...

You've got to give him a bit of space and responsibility at some point. When I was at school, the kids who got up to mischief were always the ones whose parents gave them the least responsibility.

Cadie

i was left at home alone from the age of about eight - first for the sort of ten minute trip to the corner shop kind of length, when i was 10 my parents would leave me for an hour to get stuff done. I was kind of considered to be the old sensible head on young shoulders, so they didn't feel too bad when they had to leave me but they did have a few rules - I wasn't allowed to use the oven, grill or hob - just the microwave (a diet of cold snacks, soup and rice pudding!), if i was answering the door i had to put the chain on it before opening, and ask visitors for ID unless I knew them, and if i wanted friends to stay over with me i had to ask my mum before she was due to leave, rather than asking as she walked out of the door.

I'm not a parent - but you admit your kid seems fairly sensible. You could always cut a deal - try it once with the baby monitor etc, if it goes well, then stop using it - if he's a sensible as you say he'll certainly be able to call you/ run to you if he needs a hand.

Rachie_B

ktj wrote: »

We live in the centre of a very small rural village about 150 yards from the village hall. The hall runs evening classes on Sundays 6-8pm. or weekdays 7-9pm. At the moment we pay babysitters whenever we go to the classes.

We have a very sensible, very reliable 10 year old son, who is now wanting more and more independence. He says that he is now old enough to stay 'home alone' with a friend watching videos whilst we go to classes. As he points out, last summer he played out in the village field, (which is adjacent to the village hall and which is in sight and earshot of our home) with his friends for hours on end, whilst we were at home and that what he is suggesting would just be the reverse of this situation.

Certainly if we left him 'home alone' we would pop back to check on him half way through the class and at all times we would be contactable by mobile phone in fact we would even be close enough to listen in on him with the baby listener! Moreover the saving on babysitters would be most welcome. Is he still too young or are we being over protective?

I would greatly welcome advice on this from other parents. Or are there any guidelines or recommendation on this. Thanks in advance for any help.

I would have no problem in doing this

my eldest son ( 12 in may) is alone in the house once or twice a week, after school until 7.30pm when i return from work

he is very sensible and gets on with homework,plays on the PC ,has a snack etc

he has a mobile too and rings me when he has got in from school

antronella

Think my oldest was 12 when i left them alone ..but sounds like your son is very responsible. I would run through a list of possible scenarios with him..and what he would do if..such and such happened. I did this and the scenarios ranged from what to do if someone knocked on the door, to what if there was a fire. I would start by leaving him for shorter periods first and build up gradually.

Taadaa

My son is occasionally at home by himself for a short time before one of us gets home. We went through a list of phone numbers and what to do in an emergency e.g a fire. Check out http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Yourchildshealthandsafety/Yourchildssafetyinthehome/DG_070594
for further advice.

bonnie_2

It's only against the law if your under 5, but you would be prosecuted if anything happened to them. But as they walk to school and back anyway, i don't see what the problem is, i leave my 12 year old if she's not home from school when i have to go out, she might be on her own for about an hour.

SSB

Hi
I have a 10 year old son and a 12 year old daughter, both of them sensible and I don't mind leaving them 1-2.5 hours alone. It is better for the children to learn independence now when you still have a measure of control.