Somebody please help me.

Swan_2

hi kerry,
sorry to hear of your predicament

there's been lots of good advice offered & I'm sure there'll be a lot more

as well as taking the advice already offered, try posting you circumstances on the message boards on this WELFARE RIGHTS site & ask if you're entitled to any help/benifits, the admin there are very knowledgeable & helpful

best wishes

TigerAngel11

You'll be able to find lots of stuff in charity shops - some people get given lots of stuff (especially clothes) and it simply doesn't get used, so most of it is as good as new. Ditto local newspaper adverts - people are happy to get a little cash for something they spent a lot on when they bought it. You could even advertise yourself, asking for unwanted baby stuff.

You could try asking around with people you know too - my mum had a lot of perfectly usable baby equipment up in the loft that she would have loved to give away to someone who needed it, but we didn't know anyone and it got chucked out after 10 years. Some new parents think that everything has to be brand new, but in reality you just need something that does the job.

Obviously don't take chances with safety (buy the car seat new, as you need to make sure it's fitted properly), but bear in mind that a lot of this "you need everything brand new" attitude is down to our culture of consumerism. A lot of equipment exists simply for people to show off! You don't need a lot of stuff at first anyway - something for the baby to sleep in, basic bedding and clothes, bath, steriliser if you're bottle feeding, etc. Some people like to buy pushchairs and highchairs and whatnot in advance, but it's not urgent.

In the meantime, you can save a little each week/month for when the time comes to buy these things - even £5 would be a help. Try writing a list and organise it into what you need straightaway, what you'll need in the first few months, what you'll need after that, etc. Definitely don't spend too much on clothes and toys - these are the most common presents for people to give.

Do not be tempted to get into more debt. Children are expensive and it's going to be that much harder to pay it all back. Talk to the CAB - they can advise you on your current debt, as well as letting you know what you might be entitled to. I don't see how your partner being 23 should be an issue - he is an adult, after all. As someone else said, you'll definitely get tax credits once the baby's born, so you'll be getting some help at least.

Hope it goes well,

Leigh

justontime

Hi, I'm sorry you are struggling. Talk to your midwife about it, they often get donations of clothes and baby items and she may well know of other local sources of help. The people who say you don't need very much are right, loads of things I bought for my first child were never used and were given away. Babies grow incredibly fast so something second hand will only have been worn a few times and look as good as new, your baby won't mind, and if you gradually sort out your debts you will be in a better position to buy what you want for your child when s/he is a little older. Good luck.

sue-y

I don't know if you have tried them already, but have you seen your local citizen's advice bureaux? If both you and your partner can get all your documents together they should be able to see what benefits are available to you, maybe some no-one else has discussed with you. If you wanted, you could address what happened last year when your boss sacked you. If it's difficult to get to them, they might have a phone line advice service.

I don't have children, but I can imagine this is an anxious time for you and you want to get everything sorted as soon as you can. You do have time though to go through the threads people have already suggested and sit and think about what's essential and what you can live without. If you can, try not to get into more debt, as far as I can tell kids just get even more expensive as they grow older!! Arghh!!

HTH and all the very best,. Let us know how you get on.

clairepix2003

Hy Kerry

Have you tried ebay, i know some of the stuff is second hand however its been a great help to me, im also expecting my first baby (a boy) the 7th June and am on jsa with no sign of the dad or no family to support me. I know im entitled to the grant but that still doesnt pay for everything so ive been looking on ebay for things that am within a reasonable distance from myself (i dont drive) where i ask them to deliver or i can collect (not with the bigger items). You can get bundles of clothes for pennies on there which will see the baby through for a few months or atleast until you get your grant, you can also pick up a cheap moses basket (mine was £3 including delivery and its nearly brand new), again i wouldnt worry about the cot until you get your grant as the baby wont need it for the first few months. You really dont need a baby bath as its lugging it about instead you could use a sink (kitchen/bathroom).

I know it may be a inconvience but instead of getting a pram why dont you get a baby sling or ask family to help you out with the costs, if this is impossible again i would look on ebay as you can pick up prams on there quite cheap now or ask around/look in shop windows and see if anyone is selling one cheap.

Also the pound shops have started doing baby blankets, dummies, bottles, and theres currently a half price offer on in Morrisions (not sure if you have 1 near you) where you get 4 bottles and a cold water steriliser (its tommee tipee i think but not certain) for £9.99, the bottles alone are worth £18, i brought one myself and really think its a bargain as these will last the baby a good while and they are really good quality bottles, im not sure how long the offer lasts.

You dont mention whether this is your first child but please dont stress about this you still have 4+ months to make sure everything is ready and if you start buying things bit by bit im sure you will be fine.

All the best

Claire

elisebutt65

I think everything re baby has been mentioned but you mention you are disabled. Are you claiming DLA?? Disability Living Allowance?

Also you should get a bounty pack - HERE

Gazella77

Hi Kerry,

Please do not panic, I am also on the same boat, single, with huge mortgage, and no family around. And I will not be entitled to almost anything.

Anyway, just to say you really need to sign up for freecycle, as others suggested, just find your local group (google search on freecycle group + your town or the closest bigget place). Thanks to wonderful people over there I got almost everything for free and in a good condition!

My baby is due at the beginning of April, so I thought if you want to email me where you live I could possibly give you some clothes 0-3 as my baby will start growing out of them when yours is born. Obviously this is only feasible if by any chance you live nearby.

Other good source is gumtree.com - you can buy stuff cheaply locally and also there are plenty of adverts in the local supermarkets, shops and newspapers.

All the best.

katiesmummy

kerry where do you live? i had a baby boy in october who is growing at a huge rate and i now have 2 bags full of newborn, 0-3 months and 3-6 months clothes. not all of them would be suitable if you are having a girl, but there are loads of basic vests and sleepsuits that would be ok for both sexes.
i live in london so if you arent to far away i would be happy to hand them over to you as they are just gathering dust!

as a lot of other people said, freecycle is really good as is ebay. i got a huge bundle of boys clothes for about 20quid and there was about 90 odd items in the box. keep an eye on the postage though cos that can really take the price up. i also got a cot for my son for 30 quid and the lady only lived up the road so i paid nothing for delivery.

clairec79

You wouldnt get it at 22 weeks anyway, I think you have to be 29 weeks - so it may be that's a reason why you aren't getting it.

Otherwise honestly when you first have a baby you don't need a huge amount. IKEA do a good cheap cot, which the base raises so you can use it instead of a moses basket which out doing your back in - I brought one for my son and since it's been passed on to my nephew and is still fine so it's not one which falls apart.

You'll probably be surprised at how much gets given to you closer to the time

kerrywayne

Hi everyone.Thanks for ALL your replies - they have been very useful and its good to know there are nice people out there! I'm due 7th June. I live in Harrogate, Yorkshire. Since I posted first, a few things have happened: My friend said she will give me her cot. I've been on freecycle and got a baby sling and I've decided to sell my car - its a heap, but I can't afford to run it and it will help buy a pram. Things are probably not as bad as I first thought - thank you all for helping me realise! At least I can get the grant when baby (boy!) gets here, so that'll help. Thank you all so much for your advice. Kerry