Whats your excuse for not going BR?

NoMoreExcuses

I have a selection for not doing it this week -

1. My DDs go out on the fifth, so want them to go first and do it immediately after.
2. I have got a bit of money left over and want to get kids some decent school shoes.
3. Babysitter/court options.
4. Need to re check my SOA
5. Im scared.

Please feel free to add to my list.

Scarlett.1974

NoMoreExcuses wrote: »

2. I have got a bit of money left over and want to get kids some decent school shoes.

I'm not 'getting' this one NME. If you have some money and the kids need shoes, then buy them

I can relate to no. 5 though, oh yes

wherediditallgo

Let's take them one by one.

NoMoreExcuses wrote: »

I have a selection for not doing it this week -

1. My DDs go out on the fifth, so want them to go first and do it immediately after. You could take the money out of the bank, cancel the direct debits & make the payments over the counter at the post office or bank.
2. I have got a bit of money left over and want to get kids some decent school shoes. Get them - feet are too precious to risk damage to them.
3. Babysitter/court options. Take somneone to court with you to look after the children, or ask them to look after the children at home for you.
4. Need to re check my SOA. You should do that anyway, but don't read until your eyes bleed - if you've made a mistake or have left something out, the court staff will tell you when they check it for you.
5. Im scared. Yep, virtually everyone here understands that.

Please feel free to add to my list.

Your fear is totally understandable, but there's really no need to get worked up about the day itself. I'm sure that, with enough imagination, you could add many more items to that list. The thing is, the fear/nerves won't totally go away no matter what any of us say, & there'll always be a reason to keep putting it off. Meanwhile, you'll still have to deal with creditors one way or another. If you have the money to do it this week, I really think it's better get it out of the way. You'll sleep & breathe a lot easier afterwards.

Broken_hearted

My debt is too small compared to the loss and humiliation.

winnie81

Broken_hearted wrote: »

My debt is too small compared to the loss and humiliation.

My debt was very small and I feel no loss or humiliation for my bankruptcy

Vici

Broken_hearted wrote: »

My debt is too small compared to the loss and humiliation.

Humiliation?

Broken_hearted

I would feel like a failure, lose my home because I haven't maxed out the equity and have lose the moral highground. Plus my dad would go mad at me for bringing shame on the family, its bad enough being a carer in his eyes.

wherediditallgo

Broken_hearted wrote: »

I would feel like a failure, lose my home because I haven't maxed out the equity and have lose the moral highground. Plus my dad would go mad at me for bringing shame on the family, its bad enough being a carer in his eyes.

If the "moral high ground" means that much to you, you have more to lose than going BR is likely to cost you. And if your father's opinion matters so much that him being ashamed of you would stop you doing something you believe is right for family, then that's a shame in itself.

I've read about your mother, & I genuinely feel sorry for you & your mother having to deal with that situation. But you're a grown adult, & sometimes you have to make decisions that others don't approve of. There isn't a person alive who always lived to other people's standards & expectations & was also happy within themselves. My mum told me a long time ago that, though my father couldn't stand the way I always had to argue the toss & have the last word when I lived at home, he admired me for having the strength to stand up for what I believed in, regardless of other people's opinions. He'd never tell me though, because that would be like caving in to me.

Broken_hearted

The moral high ground is about all thats holding me together at the moment. You know that feeling like holding onto a ledge one finger slips and it all goes crashing down.

wherediditallgo

I know that feeling. But you have to be able to meet your own needs before you can satisfactorily meet someone else's. Worrying about slipping from the ledge is one thing, worrying about slipping & damaging soneone's beloved rose bush is another.

NoMoreExcuses

listen - I didnt say they were valid excuses. I am just scared and thats all, and Im being a coward.
I feel like I have climbed to the top diving board and everyone is staring and its put up or shut up time.
I know you are all right. I just wondered if any of you pooped it in the run up.
I feel lame enough in RL. Feel even lamer now.