Is it safe to pay a friends debt with my Card ?

jimbo26

JMcC I take my hat off to you. You are certainly a friend in a million.:beer:

chappers

Indeed respect to you.

balmk

Big respect to you for helping.

Suggest doing a balance transfer onto your credit card - that way you don't give your card details to your friend's lenders - you give your friend's lender's details to your card company.

Hope that makes sense!

maz1964

JMcC wrote: »

Thanks to everyine for your comments. Just to complete the story and so you all have the true version. Here is a summary.

The friend is a normally reliable, disciplined person who, as the direct result of a relationship breakdown (and the stress that puts on your finances) has slipped into trouble. It is not to the extent that you tend to hear about, but is for a few thousand pounds (looks like about £3K so far). This is a huge worry to him, but in the scheme of things, is not really that bad. The problem is not down to gambling, or any other such vice.

So I just completed step 1, which is to pay the highest priority debts (the £3K). Cheques now are in the post. These particular problem debts are now gone and were really the ones causing the big issue. Next step is to keep my friends head above the water while he consolidates and makes the life changes needed to ensure he can move forward. So for the next few months, I have agreed to provide some subsidy as needed (once he has a budget fully worked out and can predict any shortfall). Ultimately he is downsizing property and when this is done, he will have less outgoings and so will be sorted. This then is a temporary plan, which I can help with for several months if need be.

The bottom line here really is that I can do something to help right now. The downward spiral was just starting. I think I've been able to nip in the bud and help him get past this stage. He should be ok now.

I think anyone would, if they could, help like this in similar circumstances.

Thanks again for all your comments and advice. That really has helped me.

hiya, i really hope you know what you are doing, ive done just that for a friend and paid their mortgage on my credit cards and guess what ive been let down, also thinking that they would pay the credit card payments off each month and sort out their finances. I now am paying off these debts plus my own and yes i also thought now in hindsight, i was a good friend doing someone a good deed so they could turn the baliffs away to save their home, as they had 3 kids at home.
I really dont want to throw any cold water on your attempts to help, but my advice to you is draw up an agreement in writing and if maybe use a legal team if necessary to protect your own sanity if nothing else, your friend should not be offended by this if they are a true friend. I know you said if they dont pay back it wont be a worry to you. Please take from me something if nothing else, it will affect your relationship in the long run, because i feel used and ive heard all the sob stories and now i feel taken for a fool. So please do what you have to do but also think of a legal paperwork so incase any default you at least could put a charge on their property to get you money back.
Money is not something that should come between friends but whilst everyone will promise the world, when it comes to harsh reality of paying back its a different ball game.

Im now having to look at my own payments and ive become behind with my mortgage payments as im playing catch up all the time. Unfortunately, no one is here for me now, its a hard lesson to learn believe me.

Im negotiating with all my creditors to get my mortgage arrears cleared and then i can keep ahead, and im over 12,000 owed. My credit now is not good and thus im in a catch 22 as i cant balance transfer to cheaper deals as my missed payments have now caught up with me due to my friend not paying when they should have been.

I urge your to get advice and protect your credit worthiness and your future and help your friend and getting them sorted, they do sound as once they downgrade as you say your money will come back to you and i wish you the best.

Keep happy, ciao for now MAZ

JMcC

Thanks again to all for the comments.

Maz makes some excellent points and has highlighted the potential future difficulties. The money I am using comes from long term savings, so if there is an issue getting back, it will harm me in the long term, not really in any other way. Worst case is that I retire a little later than planned.

However, I am reasonably confident I will get this money back.

One thing I am keeping in mind is that I would have given the money eventually anyway. I hope that taking action at this point may well save the day. My friend gets back on his feet eventually and I get the money back. If I had not stepped in at this stage, perhaps I would not have been able to afford to help enough and would have just given money when too late.

I am hopeful this will not end in tears, but lets see. I'll know for sure within 6 months.

bandraoi

something I've seen other people do, which may work quite well is to insist on getting a payment, any payment every week/month.

So even if you ask for £300 a month back normally, ask them to pay you something if they can't make that. It doesn't matter if it's a pound or ten pounds, just that at the very least a payment is made every month.

JMcC

That is a good idea bandraoi. That keeps the fact that I do expect it back sometime in mind.

I wasn't looking for anything till things resolved, plus I still intend giving more over the next 2 or 3 months. However, once that is done, a repayment plan of some kind is good.........

maz1964

JMcC wrote: »

That is a good idea bandraoi. That keeps the fact that I do expect it back sometime in mind.

I wasn't looking for anything till things resolved, plus I still intend giving more over the next 2 or 3 months. However, once that is done, a repayment plan of some kind is good.........

Yes i agree, this would actually give you both assurances that the debt needs to be paid so yes have a set amount as agreed by your both for a weekly or monthly amount to be paid into your savings account. This then shows what is left to be paid as a final settlement.

I just wished id done things differently and known what i know now, but hey this is all part of life, experience is a beautiful thing.

Have a fun day keep happy Ciao MAZ:beer:

seven-day-weekend

I think it is a wonderful thing that you have done, especially as you are prepared to not have the money back.

My husband and I sold a house three years ago and gave someone who was having a rough time some money, just because we wanted to.

Last summer, he downsized and gave us the same amount back, just because HE wanted to!

It's better to give than to lend, if you can, imho. In fact I would go as far as to say that if you can't afford to not have the money back, then think twice about lending it. Help the person out some other way.

journ

JMcC you are a very kind person your friend is so lucky .